14 October 2022
So here we are; the most up-to-date version of Suzune’s introduction. It has plenty of issues - there’s no reference to Suzune’s blue skin, for one - but I still feel pretty satisfied with it for the current draft.
I think the biggest difference was that I’d taken the time to identify a few other members in the meeting, and their general attitudes. This worked great; I have plans now for both Nakamura and Ito in the future that came about as I planned out the final battle in this arc. I feel like both of them will enrich the story, compared to what it would have been.
Suzune, adoptive daughter to the shogun himself, stood behind and to the right of the general’s chair as his aide-de-camp. After Captain Takamoto had returned with only half his squad and no supplies, the general had ordered and emergency staff meeting.
“And this lone oni girl is the one that forced you and your men to retreat?” the general confirmed.
“Yes, General. But she fought like no other we’ve encountered. She was no enraged beast, but a blade in the wind. Please do not underestimate her, despite our failure.”
From the side, Lieutenant Nakamura, one of the youngest of the senior officers, snorted. “Another intelligent oni? Isn’t one enough?”
Several of the officers glanced up at the horns on Suzune’s head, but she ignored them. “Even the more bestial youkai have a certain measure of cunning, Lieutenant Nakamura. And losing to one of them would cost you more than just your dignity.”
Nakamura’s face turned scarlet, but he held his tongue. The general turned his focus back to Takamoto. “Is there anything else you can tell us about this oni? What powers did she exhibit?”
Takamoto paused. “She seemed to prefer to disarm and nullify opponents rather than kill them. In addition to her swordplay, she also has great strength and durability.” He drew his sword - what was left of it - and presented it to the general. “She caught and crushed my blade with one hand. In addition, I believe she has some kind of hidden power that allows her to transform.”
As he spoke, Suzune had to focus to keep the smile off her face. This swordswoman promised to be a worthy foe. But if Suzune let her battle lust show, that would only vindicate the men who looked down on her as “the shogun’s pet oni”. Worse, it would dishonor her father.
The general stroked his beard. “Was the village aiding or sheltering this oni swordswoman?”
“Both the village elder and the girl herself denied it. However, I cannot think of any other reason for an oni to defend this village so vehemently.”
The general nodded to himself. “Is there anything else you wish to report?”
The captain hesitated, then said, “I found the oni’s last words intriguing. She pointed out the fear the villagers had of us, more than they even feared her, and accused us of being the true monsters.”
Suzune blinked in surprise. Before she could process her thoughts, though, Captain Ito, the oldest of the officers, glowered at her and declared, “Monsters? Indeed! Like the monster we have let into our ranks!”
“With all due respect,” Captain Takamoto cut in, “they had no way of knowing about Lieutenant Suzune. She referred to the soldiers of our army; ‘rapists and thieves’, she called them.”
An uproar broke out as everyone shouted at once, but everyone stilled as soon as the general stood up. “It is clear to me that these villagers have something to hide,” he declared. “They fear us because they fear what we might discover. To aid an oni, one of our enemies, is an act of treason against the shogunate, and we will answer in kind!”
A roar of approval filled the tent, and whatever flutter of doubt Suzune may have had flittered away.
The general turned to her and asked, “How do you propose we deal with this threat, Lieutenant Suzune?”
Suzune stepped toward the battle map, but before she could speak, Nakamura saluted the general and asked, “General, why trust this… oni girl with tactical decisions? Surely there are more qualified individuals present!” Several of the others, including Ito, nodded along.
The general nodded to her, and Suzune turned to Nakamura. “Perhaps if you proved more adept than I at strategic thinking, Lieutenant Nakamura, he would ask you. Unless you are requesting a rematch of our shogi game? Perhaps your skills have improved since last time.”
Once more, Nakamura could say nothing. Suzune looked at each of the officers, but none would meet her gaze.
She turned back to the map. “If what Captain Takamoto said about the oni swordswoman is true, then she is the most dangerous threat. I propose we send a small force to lure her back into the woods here.” She pointed to a copse of trees located about a mile down the road from the village. “Then our main force can attack the village from this direction. In the event the oni proves even more dangerous than expected, or if the village has other defenses lying in wait, we should still be positioned to bring our full army to bear on the issue.”
She then laid specific plans for how to confront the oni, potential traps that could be lying in wait for them, and general terrain conditions. The war council agreed to her plan, and she was assigned to the force confronting the oni.
And since that meant she could fight this oni swordswoman, well, who was she to complain?
Current Draft of Hanako’s story (including unposted content)