6 December 2022

I’ve come to appreciate Ito a lot more. He was kind of a throw away character at first; someone who was supposed to be among Suzune’s multitude of haters. Kind of balance Nakamura’s chauvinistic side with more generic straight racism, I guess? Anyway, he took on a life of his own, which means at some point I’ll have to go back and tweak his introduction to fit his true self better. I really look forward to his character arc.

One concern I have with this scene is how well I handle the shogun and his reactions. I want him to set off warning bells in people’s minds about how he handles/interacts with Suzune, but at the same time, this is not a situation where he can write her off like I’d initially planned. I do have a dinner conversation for the next scene that helps establish their relationship better, but if this scene’s the readers’ first introduction to him, I want everything set up correctly… Unless I skip straight to the dinner, tweak it so he’d already taken care of Nakamura? That could work…

Then Captain Ito stood and saluted. “Permission to speak, my lord?”

“Granted.”

“Concerning the plan Lt. Suzune presented. She offered it in a meeting of all the officers under the general, and the general himself approved it. Nakamura himself was present at this meeting, and no one spoke against the plan itself. If the issue is truly a matter of incompetence, then Lt. Nakamura’s words condemn all of us present, and most especially the general.

“What’s more, it could be said we succeeded in the plan, though the cost was far higher than predicted. Chizu has burned to the ground; I verified that with my own eyes. Nakamura himself should have known this, if he was still present on the battlefield until the end.

“Second, concerning his allegations of treachery.” He paused, and turned to stare into the crowd. “You all know me. My hatred for oni is well known, and I would have been eager for any excuse to remove Lt. Suzune from the army. And even so, I will say such a thing is impossible.” 

He turned to the shogun. “Even ignoring every effort she has made to honor your name and family, my lord, I witnessed her fight with the oni swordswoman first-hand. The lieutenant ended that battle with a broken arm and over half her ribs cracked. Even so, she led the rescue efforts for the rest of the ambush force, lifting trees and things like that, and then rushed to rendezvous with the general’s army. We would have lost half again as many men were it not for her quick responses.” He pressed his lips together into a thin line. “Curiously, Lt. Nakamura was not with what remained of the army at Chizu. Perhaps he had already fled.”

The shogun turned to Suzune, and Suzune quailed under his disapproving stare. “A single oni did this much damage to you?”

“Y-yes, Father.” Suzune dropped her gaze to the ground.

Next to her, Ito spoke up again. “If I may, my lord. The way this oni swordswoman fought seemed familiar. If I hadn’t known better, I would have believed it was Swordmaster Kojima himself.”

“I see.” The shogun stared at Suzune a moment longer, before he leaned back and turned to Nakamura. “Have you anything more you wish to say in your defense?”

Nakamura, whose expression had grown more and more sour as Ito talked, was taken aback. “My defense, my lord?”

“You have shamed your superior officer, the general, and cast aspersions on my own family, even if she is just an oni. What’s more, there is a great deal of evidence, beyond even what Captain Ito has just presented, of your cowardly flight from Chizu. Have you anything you wish to add?”

Nakamura’s face paled, and he opened and closed his mouth like a dying fish. “Once it was clear he had nothing to say, the shogun rose from his throne and proclaimed, “Then I strip you of all rank, station, and possessions, and exile you from the shogunate. Let all witness and accomplish it.”

Two of the shogun’s guards marched forward and grabbed Nakamura by each shoulder. He began to protest, but all in the room ignored his cries as he was escorted out.

Once the throne room was silent once more, the shogun announced, “In light of their valor in the battle of Chizu, and considering the loss of so many stalwart officers, I promote both Captain Ito and Lieutenant Suzune to the rank of Major. Let all witness and receive it.”

Suzune’s eyes went wide. She had to hold back her tears as she saluted her father and bowed as low as possible.

Ito, however, seemed more reserved as he bowed. “Thank you for this honor, my lord. But may I request a leave of absence? There is much on my mind after this battle I must consider.”

“If there is something troubling you, we would hear it, that we may know how best to assist you.”

Ito shook his head. “It is only a small thing, my lord, concerning a personal matter. It is not worth troubling our great lord over.”

For a long time the shogun didn’t respond. “How long do you plan for this absence?”

“At least a week, my lord. But no longer than two months.”

“Very well. May your mind be refreshed upon your return.” The shogun clapped and siad, “I will retire to my chambers. Suzune, attend me.”

“Yes, Father.”

As the councilors and officers began filtering out of the room, Suzune followed her father to his private quarters.

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5 December 2022

The next part of Suzune’s report/confrontation with her father. The whole scene was surprisingly hard to write; maybe it’s just the mood I’ve been in lately? I went back a bit to revise how I introduced Nakamura, and then mostly, it was just struggling to figure out what arguments he, Suzune, and Ito would all use, and in what order.

They entered the room, and Suzune was shocked to see Lieutenant Nakamura kneeling before Father. It was all she could do to keep her face impassive. So Nakamura was a coward. The only way he could be here was if he’d fled from the battle at the village and abandoned the general and Captain Takamoto.

Suzune walked up beside him and kneeled before the shogun. “You requested to see me, Father?”

“Indeed. I have some questions concerning the battle at Chizu village.” He turned to Nakamura. “Recount what you told me one more time, lieutenant.”

“Sir!” Nakamura glanced sidewise and sneered at Suzune before he stood and saluted the shogun. “It pains me to tell you this, my lord, but I suspect treachery from Lieutenant Suzune.”

At that, there was a collective gasp from the councilors and officers in the room, and Suzune’s heart roared. Her fingers twitched, eager to remove Nakamura’s head from his body for even suggesting such an impossibility. She managed to restrain herself; she’d tried hard to prove to the shogunate–and her father in particular–that she was more than some barbaric oni.

Once the hubbub quieted down, Nakamura continued. “The night before the battle, Lt. Suzune herself outlined the plan to eliminate an oni warrior and the village sheltering it. As part of this plan, she would lure the enemy oni away and subdue it, while the general and the bulk of the army fell upon the village and razed it to the ground.”

“Go on.” The shogun’s face was impassive. Even Suzune couldn’t tell what he was thinking. A small nugget of doubt began to worm its way into Suzune’s heart.

“The plan proceeded as normal; Suzune’s group attracted the oni, and I, along with the general and the rest of the army, attacked Chizu. However it was only moments later when the oni fell upon our rear in full battle-frenzy. The general, along with Captain Takamoto and many other officers, fell to the unexpected onslaught. I can only conclude that either Lt. Suzune is incompetent, or she was in collusion with the oni to eliminate key officers in your army, and thus secure a promotion.”

Suzune trembled in rage. How could Nakamura tell such blatant lies to her father when she stood right there? All she needed was an excuse, and she’d end him then and there.

Then Father turned and looked at her. And all that anger evaporated into a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. Did Father believe him?

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3 December 2022

For whatever reason, I was in a major funk all day last Saturday. I still managed to accomplish some things… but I only got about 25 minutes of writing in before I was just… done. I kind of regret it, to be honest, but I think days like that happen sometimes.

On the other hand, I did finish up a fair amount of research on gaslighting (based mostly on this video from Cinema Therapy on Mother Gothel in Tangled), and figured out how that applies to the shogun and some of his interactions with Suzune. Even if I haven’t gotten to them yet.

Suzune marched to the shogun’s throne room. Ito walked just behind her, to her right. She didn’t know what to make of him, anymore; after the battle with the oni girl–Hanako–he’d stopped his angry rants, and even walked beside her as an adjutant, despite the fact he outranked her.

They entered the room and kneeled before the shogun. “You requested to see me, Father?”

The shogun sat upon his wooden throne, painted cherry red with gold inlays. “Indeed, Lieutenant Suzune. I wish to hear in greater detail the events surrounding the village of Chizu.”

“Yes, Father.” She stood and opened her mouth to speak but her father held up a hand. “First, there is one other report on the matter we would hear. Speak, Nakamura.”

From out of the crowd, Lieutenant Nakamura stepped forward and sneered at Suzune. It was all she could do to keep her face impassive; if Nakamura was here, then he’d fled like a coward. Most of those who’d survived Hanako’s onslaught had already reunited with Suzune’s forces; the fact Nakamura hadn’t spoke volumes.

Nakamura bowed to the shogun.

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21 October 2022

After my short hiatus, where I struggled with motivations, I started trying to plan out my big battles with the shogun’s army for this mini-arc. It occurred to me, though, that their status as “monster hunters” is kind of an informed attribute at this point. They don’t feel like a real threat; Hanako curb-stomps them way too easily. That… is still the case, actually, but I at least wanted to come up with strategies and things the army would use to handle creatures with superhuman abilities so they don’t feel so completely incompetent. And this was my way of doing that.

I’d initially wanted it to be more of a “life in the day of a trainee”, but it turned into more of an info dump. I did learn a lot about different kinds of yokai (youkai?) researching for this, though.

Here I am! A soldier in the shogun’s great army, to protect my family against the terrifying yokai horde!

Okay, so maybe it’s all a bit scary, but I’m proud to be here. Shou has already had to knock me out of my reverie a few times; there are so many amazing officers and heroes here!

Ah, time to pay attention. They’re going to teach us how to fight all the different kinds of yokai.

First up, oni. Apparently they’re not all massive; some can be as short as 1.5 meters tall, though the big ones can get up to 3. They have one or two horns on their forehead, but their most distinctive feature is their supernatural strength. They wield massive iron clubs called kanabo.

Known weaknesses include their love of alcohol, and how quick they are to anger. If you know their are oni in an area, you could poison or drug a barrel or two of wine and march it near them. Soporifics tend to be the most effective, as they are resistant to most lethal poisons.

Their anger makes them easy to manipulate, even if they also get stronger the angrier they are. Particularly dim oni have been known to run all around the battlefield, never landing a strike, simply because the army baited them different directions with their attacks.

Their high defense, though, makes it hard to do meaningful damage even in advantageous circumstances. It’s recommended to use strong piercing weapons, like warpicks, rather than swords. Also, do not try to fight one alone; always take a minimum of two to three to fight an oni. More clever or experienced oni may require twenty to thirty.

Next are the ushi-oni. They have an ox head on what could be a six-legged spider’s body. They are ferocious monsters that spit poison. Not many of them exist in the yokai army, but they are incredibly dangerous; it’s best to attack from range to avoid their poison.

Jorogumo, while not usually part of the yokai army, are still a major threat that need to be eradicated. Normally giant spiders, they can turn into beautiful women to lure in prey. When a jorogumo lair is identified, light the interior on fire and stop or blockade the entrance.

Tengu are often the commanders of the yokai army. They are exceedingly proud. As avians, they often fly above the battlefield; it’s recommended archers focus fire on them first when they fly within range.

14 October 2022

So here we are; the most up-to-date version of Suzune’s introduction. It has plenty of issues - there’s no reference to Suzune’s blue skin, for one - but I still feel pretty satisfied with it for the current draft.

I think the biggest difference was that I’d taken the time to identify a few other members in the meeting, and their general attitudes. This worked great; I have plans now for both Nakamura and Ito in the future that came about as I planned out the final battle in this arc. I feel like both of them will enrich the story, compared to what it would have been.

Suzune, adoptive daughter to the shogun himself, stood behind and to the right of the general’s chair as his aide-de-camp. After Captain Takamoto had returned with only half his squad and no supplies, the general had ordered and emergency staff meeting.

“And this lone oni girl is the one that forced you and your men to retreat?” the general confirmed.

“Yes, General. But she fought like no other we’ve encountered. She was no enraged beast, but a blade in the wind. Please do not underestimate her, despite our failure.”

From the side, Lieutenant Nakamura, one of the youngest of the senior officers, snorted. “Another intelligent oni? Isn’t one enough?”

Several of the officers glanced up at the horns on Suzune’s head, but she ignored them. “Even the more bestial youkai have a certain measure of cunning, Lieutenant Nakamura. And losing to one of them would cost you more than just your dignity.”

Nakamura’s face turned scarlet, but he held his tongue. The general turned his focus back to Takamoto. “Is there anything else you can tell us about this oni? What powers did she exhibit?”

Takamoto paused. “She seemed to prefer to disarm and nullify opponents rather than kill them. In addition to her swordplay, she also has great strength and durability.” He drew his sword - what was left of it - and presented it to the general. “She caught and crushed my blade with one hand. In addition, I believe she has some kind of hidden power that allows her to transform.”

As he spoke, Suzune had to focus to keep the smile off her face. This swordswoman promised to be a worthy foe. But if Suzune let her battle lust show, that would only vindicate the men who looked down on her as “the shogun’s pet oni”. Worse, it would dishonor her father.

The general stroked his beard. “Was the village aiding or sheltering this oni swordswoman?”

“Both the village elder and the girl herself denied it. However, I cannot think of any other reason for an oni to defend this village so vehemently.”

The general nodded to himself. “Is there anything else you wish to report?”

The captain hesitated, then said, “I found the oni’s last words intriguing. She pointed out the fear the villagers had of us, more than they even feared her, and accused us of being the true monsters.”

Suzune blinked in surprise. Before she could process her thoughts, though, Captain Ito, the oldest of the officers, glowered at her and declared, “Monsters? Indeed! Like the monster we have let into our ranks!”

“With all due respect,” Captain Takamoto cut in, “they had no way of knowing about Lieutenant Suzune. She referred to the soldiers of our army; ‘rapists and thieves’, she called them.”

An uproar broke out as everyone shouted at once, but everyone stilled as soon as the general stood up. “It is clear to me that these villagers have something to hide,” he declared. “They fear us because they fear what we might discover. To aid an oni, one of our enemies, is an act of treason against the shogunate, and we will answer in kind!”

A roar of approval filled the tent, and whatever flutter of doubt Suzune may have had flittered away.

The general turned to her and asked, “How do you propose we deal with this threat, Lieutenant Suzune?”

Suzune stepped toward the battle map, but before she could speak, Nakamura saluted the general and asked, “General, why trust this… oni girl with tactical decisions? Surely there are more qualified individuals present!” Several of the others, including Ito, nodded along.

The general nodded to her, and Suzune turned to Nakamura. “Perhaps if you proved more adept than I at strategic thinking, Lieutenant Nakamura, he would ask you. Unless you are requesting a rematch of our shogi game? Perhaps your skills have improved since last time.”

Once more, Nakamura could say nothing. Suzune looked at each of the officers, but none would meet her gaze. 

She turned back to the map. “If what Captain Takamoto said about the oni swordswoman is true, then she is the most dangerous threat. I propose we send a small force to lure her back into the woods here.” She pointed to a copse of trees located about a mile down the road from the village. “Then our main force can attack the village from this direction. In the event the oni proves even more dangerous than expected, or if the village has other defenses lying in wait, we should still be positioned to bring our full army to bear on the issue.”

She then laid specific plans for how to confront the oni, potential traps that could be lying in wait for them, and general terrain conditions. The war council agreed to her plan, and she was assigned to the force confronting the oni.

And since that meant she could fight this oni swordswoman, well, who was she to complain?

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12 October 2022

And here is the second of three versions of this scene, where I introduce Suzune. In the last one, I made her too old; she’s supposed to be Hanako’s age, but I made her the general over a major part of the army. This time, it feels like I went to far the other direction; she’s lacking in confidence, and as a result she’s too focused on what everyone around her thinks of her. That didn’t quite fit my image of who I wanted the character to be. It’s also vague and nebulous, with too much “telling” (especially about the way others treat her) and not enough “showing”.

That’s actually why I’m really glad I wrote this; seeing the ways I was dissatisfied helped me get a firmer grasp on Suzune’s character, and I think was key in helping me grow as a writer, too.

Suzune stood among the other officers along the tent wall. It was dark outside; when Captain Takamoto’s squad had arrived with half their members, without the supplies, the general had ordered an emergency staff meeting.

“And this lone oni girl forced your entire squadron to retreat, Captain?”

“Yes, General. But she fought like no other oni we’ve ever encountered. She was no enraged beast, but a blade in the wind. Please do not underestimate her.”

When she heard that, Suzune’s blood began to boil, and she barely kept herself from grinning. Here, at last, was a worthy foe. Perhaps, if she performed well here, the other officers would look past her horns and cobalt blue skin, and she’d stop hearing whispers of “the shogun’s pet oni”.

The general watched Captain Takamoto for several moments. “And was the town aiding this oni swordswoman?”

“Both the village elder and the girl denied it, but I can think of no other reason she would defend it so earnestly.”

The general nodded to himself and rose. He looked around at each of the officers present and declared, “Sheltering a youkai is treason against the shogunate. All enemies of the shogun will perish! At dawn, move out; we shall bring the full might of this battalion to bear against these traitors.”

Recognizing an opportunity, Suzune stepped forward and knelt down. She placed her fist over her heart in salute. “Permission to speak, sir!”

Several of the other officers began to snicker amongst themselves, but the general waved a hand to silence them. “You may speak, Lieutenant Suzune.”

Suzune rose. “Sir, based on Captain Takamoto’s report, I propose we split our forces. This oni swordswoman seems to be the most serious threat; one force could draw her out and neutralize her, while the other attacks the town.”

The general stroked his beard. “Do you believe this swordswoman to be that significant a threat?”

Though Suzune would never admit it, she sincerely hoped so. “I do not know, but I trust in Captain Takamoto’s integrity and the skill of his squad. And I believe it is often better to exercise caution in front of an unfamiliar and dangerous opponent.”

The general nodded. “Please continue.”

Suzune bowed, hiding the smile that crept over her face. Then she spent the next thirty minutes using the battle map to explain the finer details of her plan.

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11 October 2022

We finally meet the other half of the “blue oni, red oni” duo. That said, Suzune at this point hadn’t quite finished baking if you will. I knew she existed, but not details. In particular, here, I forgot how old she was supposed to be, and focused on how much epic potential she had. That… would have caused a lot of problems. I also play with how redeemable the captain was going to be; unfortunately, perhaps as a side effect of making Suzune more sympathetic, he winds up a lot less sympathetic in the final version.

As a result, I actually rewrote this scene two other times, on the 12th and 14th. Just trying things out, figuring out what fit, and using this scene to try to learn who Suzune really was. I’m fairly satisfied with the result, though.

General Suzune, head of the Dragon’s Battalion and the adoptive daughter of the shogun, looked down at Captain Takamoto, who bowed before her. “And a single oni forced your entire squadron to retreat?”

“Yes, General. But she fights like no other oni we’ve encountered; rather than an enraged beast, she was a master swordswoman. Please do not underestimate her, despite our weakness.”

“I see.” She resisted the urge to smile; perhaps here, finally, she’d find a worthy foe. She stood, and all eyes turned toward her. Her cobalt blue skin naturally drew attention, and her six foot frame only increased the impact of her presence, along with the black horns on either side of her forehead.

“And the town was allied with this oni swordswoman?” she confirmed.

“Both the village elder and the girl herself denied it, but I can think of no other reason for her to exert so much effort in its defense,” the captain replied.

Suzune nodded and looked to the other officers in the room. Many dropped their eyes, but a few worthy of respect met her gaze. She declared, “To ally with the enemy is to declare one’s self to be an enemy of the shogun. Is that agreed?”

Not a one of the officers dared do anything but nod. Suzune continued, “And therefore, as an enemy, it is our duty to make an example of them.” She pointed to the map. “The greatest threat is this oni swordswoman. So to draw her out, we will send our main force directly here, through the forest.” She gestured to Takamoto. “Meanwhile, you and your squadron, along with fifty other men of my choosing, will come in from here and attack the village. I hope you take this chance to redeem yourselves.”

The officers saluted, thumping their chest with their fists, and slowly filed out. Once they had, though, Captain Takamoto remained.

Suzune raised an eyebrow. “Was there something else, Captain?”

He hesitated, then said, “I suppose I just wondered what makes us different from the youkai.”

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8 October 2022

Writing this felt good. It felt like I’d wrapped up the major story beat, ended the scene that started with the innkeeper, or even earlier with my first draft of it.

The choreography was fun to figure out. I used graph paper and drew up a map of the square, including the three carriages, to help plan out how the fight went. I actually hadn’t considered the way Hanako used the chaos the horses caused to her advantage until I drew that out. It helped me recognize what was available in her environment. I modified D&D rules for action economy and movement speed to give myself an idea of what happens, which I think works well enough for something like this. I don’t worry about attack or damage, though; whether an attack hits or misses and what kind of damage results from that is based on the needs of the plot, so I skip over that.

One of the things I’ve come to learn recently is that one principle to writing good action sequences comes down to knowing what options are available to each “actor” in a scene at any given time, and based on that figuring out what they would do given the situation. I say “actor” because some things might change or affect the battle despite being intangible (earthquakes, falling debris, dynamic environmental hazards, etc.).

As Hanako approached the square, she counted maybe half a dozen of the shogun’s soldiers loading their spoils onto wagons. Across the square, their captain spoke with the village elder; the elder’s face was sour, but from the smug look on the captain’s face, there wasn’t anything he could do.

As she got closer, she noticed several women bunched together in the back of the third wagon. Her rage flared, demanding to let loose, and if it hadn’t been for her master’s training, she would have descended on the soldiers in a storm of steel.

Instead, she dashed forward, knocking out the first guard with her sheathed katana before anyone could react. She unsheathed it just long enough to cut the horses free of the nearest wagon. On top of that, she released a pulse of anger strong enough to spook all the horses, even at the other wagons.

Once the captain saw her, his eyes narrowed. He turned on the village elder and drew his sword. “So you’re working with them.”

The elder desperately shook his head. “No! We would never!”

Once she saw this, Hanako growled and rushed for the captain. As she rushed past, one soldier made a swing at her, but she deflected with her sheathe and dove in front of the old man.

The captain swung his sword, and a loud pa-ching echoed through the square. A moment later, the captain’s sword clattered to the ground a few feet away.

Hanako smiled fearlessly up at the captain. “Yeah, sorry. I’ve got nothing to do with these folks; I was just passing through.”

Two of the other soldiers charged at her while the rest fought to get the horses under control. She tilted her head to avoid the first one’s thrust, while the second tried to sweep at her from below. She stomped on the sword and shattered it, but they’d given the captain time to retreat and pick up his own weapon.

The captain shouted, “Leave the horses! Focus on the oni girl!”

The other three tried to follow his command. However, one had gotten too close to the back of the rear wagon, and one of the woman grabbed a pan from among the stolen loot and swung it at his head. It bashed into his helmet and sent him reeling, while the clang spooked the horses even worse. The horses at their wagon tore free, bowling two other soldiers over, and followed the horses Hanako had cut loose out of the square.

In the meantime, Hanako had resheathed her sword and easily disarmed her other opponent. She knocked him out, along with the soldier whose sword she’d smashed earlier, which left her alone with the captain for the moment.

The captain looked at her sheathed katana and fumed. “Why do you not draw your weapon?”

Hanako shrugged. “I don’t think I need it.” She was trying not to kill people, after all. At least for now.

Given the way the captain’s glare intensified, though, he probably didn’t take it that way. That was fine. If Hanako was honest with herself, she was still pretty furious, too.

When he charged her, Hanako let some of that fury out, as she thought about the women who would be kidnapped and the things she’d seen in other towns. Her hair turned white; her skin, crimson, her eyes, black. Everything seemed to move in slow motion.

If she had wanted to, it would have been the easiest thing in the world for Hanako to kill this guy. Smash his face hin, draw her sword and cut him to ribbons, grab him and launch him a hundred feet into the air. She almost did it, too. But she stopped herself in time, and instead she just caught his blade in her bare hand and crushed it at the hilt.

The captain looked into her black eyes, and for once Hanako truly glared at him. His face turned sheet white. “You monster!”

“Maybe.” Hanako sighed and breathed in, letting her anger fade and her color return to normal. “But if I’m the monster, why are you the one they’re afraid of?”

The captain looked around, noticing the eyes of the villages peeking out from doorways or windows. His eyes finally rested on the women who were to be taken away, all of whom glared at him, not the oni beside him.

He turned toward Hanako. She looked at something, off in the distance, with a sad smile. Softly, she told him, “If you’re serious about trying to protect people from monsters, captain, maybe start with the ones in your own army?”

Without anything he could say, he signaled his men and they left, taking their wounded with them and leaving the wagons.

Hanako only got a few minutes rest, seated on the ground against the wall, when the village elder marched up to her. “Do you know what you have done!?”

She hadn’t been expecting that. Her rage flared, but Hanako was able to keep a lid on it. Still, she was worried how this was going to go.

When she didn’t say anything, the elder sucked in breath to continue; however, one of the women from the wagon stepped between them. “She saved us if nothing else, Benjiro. Which is more than I can say for you.”

“And in the process, she’s doomed us all! Do you think the shogun and his men will just let this stand? On top of that, now they think we’ve allied with the youkai!”

“So, what? Just give everything up, sacrifice us, just to keep the peace?”

“If that’s what it takes to save the village!”

The women was prepared to keep arguing, but Hanako reached up and grabbed her hand. For a long moment, no one spoke. Then Hanako softly asked, “Say, oji-san. Have you visited Wakayama recently?”

Confusion painted over the old man’s features. “No, not recently. Why?”

“What about Gifu? Makuhari?”

The elder shook his head.

“I have. They did just what you said; gave the army whatever they wanted, and did their best to keep their heads down.” She finally looked up at him. “In Gifu they’re boiling leather for food. Anything the army hadn’t taken, they’d trampled on the way out. Wakayama didn’t even have that much; there were children starving to death in the streets when I passed by.” She turned and gave the elder a weary smile. “Say, oji-san. When you said you want to save the village, is that what you had in mind?”

The old man was silent.

Hanako heaved herself off the ground and forced a bright smile on her face. “It’ll be alright, though! I’ll do everything I can to keep you all safe.” She scratched her cheek and added, “I mean, you have a point. I did attack them, and rope you guys into this mess. So, I’ll help out with that.”

And with that, she headed back deeper into town, leaving the elder and everyone else to mull over what she’d said.

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7 October 2022

I really wanted to see how Hanako looked from outside, so I found someone for her to save to witness what that might be like. That was a lot of fun to write. I later renamed “Burtin” to “Satoru”, to better fit the general vibe of the setting.

The fight scene after that was disappointing, and I struggled to get into it. The next day I actually took graph paper and mapped it out, which did wonders for my choreography.

Burtin’s hands shook as he held the sword up, pointing at the soldier in front of him. His sister clung to his back, shaking as much as he was. The soldier sneered. “You sure you want to do that?”

Burtin didn’t take his eyes off the soldier, but he told his sister, “Get inside.” Rather than listen to him, though, she just tightened her grip on his shirt.

The soldier snorted and drew his sword, but as he raised it to attack, a girl with bright red hair flew in and drove her knee into his jaw. Once she landed, Burtin was able to get a better look at her. She wore a simple white and black kamishimo with red accents. Her left hand rested on a katana, still sheathed, at her side. What startled Burtin the most, however, was the lone horn protruding proudly from her forehead.

She turned and faced Burtin. She ignored the shaking sword now pointed at her and offered a bright smile. “Most folks I meet aren’t brave enough to stand up to these guys.” She nudged the unconscious soldier with her foot. “You should be proud.”

The tip of Burtin’s sword dipped a little. “Who are you?”

The oni shrugged. “No one important.” She looked around and asked, “Say, do you know where the rest of them are at? Especially the commander, if they have one.”

Burtin lowered his sword entirely and pointed down the street. “I’m not sure, but they’re gatherin’ everythin’ over at the main square.”

After she glanced down the wa he’d pointed, she turned and gave him a sloppy salute. “Thanks!” She looked around him and waved at his sister, and then she took off, moving so fast Burtin wondered if he’d imagined it.

Dazed, Burtin turned to his sister. “Let’s get inside.” They left the soldier where he lay in the street.

As Hanako got closer to the square, she climbed up to the rooftops to avoid most of the soldiers. She arrived at the square and peered down, staying low, and counted maybe a dozen men, including the captain just below her.

“So, on squadron to raid the town, and the rest of the battalion off somewhere else,” she muttered to herself. They had two to three wagons to load their spoils onto; Hanako wondered if they’d brought those with them, or if they’d been “requisitioned” along with everything else.

There was no point in waiting any further, so Hanako jumped down onto the captain’s back. His head cracked against the ground, so she hurried to make sure she hadn’t killed him.

“Oh, good, still breathing.” Hanako looked up to see the stunned faces of the other soldiers. That only lasted a second before they pulled out their swords and rushed her.

<-Hanako First

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Hanako Next->

Current Draft of Hanako’s story (including unposted content)

6 October 2022

Here is the first of a three-part rewrite of the events depicted in this post. I would say that it is here that Hanako’s story really felt like it was starting to grow into its own.

I was thinking about it recently; why have I fixated so much on this particular story compared to others? One of my main theories is that I just find Hanako that engaging as a character. Hopefully I get that across. But there’s something about the cheerful front she puts up and her desire for connection that resonates with me.

The other theory is feedback; I was really proud of my introductory scene for her, posted here, and I showed that to a few people, who proactively wanted to read more. That lit a fire and increased my willingness to invest, I think. I’m not saying all feedback needs to be positive; that would actually be really bad. Constructive criticism is important to identify weaknesses so I can improve. But little touches of affirmation go a long way, at least for me.

The town wasn’t especially welcoming to outsiders, but Hanako didn’t care; after the horrors she’d seen in Wakayama, Gifu, and others, she was just happy to have arrived ahead of the army for once.

She headed to the inn and paid for a room. She stayed out in the common area for dinner, though, in the hopes to get a feel for the atmosphere of the town. What she saw confirmed her suspicions; the innkeeper’s smile was tense, and the woman kept shooting furtive looks toward the door. The serving girl, who looked to be the innkeeper’s daughter, couldn’t keep her hands from shaking.

“Hey,” Hanako called out to the girl. “I’m Hanako. What’s your name?”

The girl hesitated for a bit. “Chiaki.”

“Mm. Nice to meet you, Chiaki!” Hanako beamed at her, which seemed to calm Chiaki down a bit. “Say, everyone in town seems really on-edge. Is something going on?”

Chiaki blinked. “Haven’t you heard?”

Hanako shrugged sheepishly. “I’ve only been in town for about half an hour. And before that, it’s been two or three days since I saw anyone else on the road.”

“The shogun’s army has camped near here. A whole battalion, they say.”

Hanako’s breath caught. “A whole battalion?” She’d thought - or hoped, rather - it would just be a squadron or two; she wasn’t sure she could take an entire battalion by herself.

“No sense in worrying. We’ll just give them what they want, and they’ll leave us alone.” The white knuckles on the innkeeper’s hand as she polished the tables betrayed her worry, despite her words.

Hanako knew a lot of people in the villages she’d just passed through that would disagree with her statement, but there wasn’t anything to be gained from worrying them with the things she’d seen. She continued her meal, but before she got up out of her seat, three Imperial soldiers entered the room. Hanako’s expression brightened when she recognized them as the trio who’d attacked the  old merchant.

The leader scanned the room, but focused on Chiaki so quickly Hanako wasn’t sure he’d even seen her. He gestured the soldiers towards Chiaki and said, “Take the girl, and anything else that looks valuable.” 

The faces of both the innkeeper and her daughter turned white, and the innkeeper wailed, “No! Please! Don’t take my daughter!”

The leader backhanded her across the face and roared, “Do you intend to interfere with an officer of the shogun’s army!?”

His two men moved to grab Chiaki, but they froze as soon as they saw Hanako. She gave them a feral grin and stood up. “Hey, robber-san, robber-san! It’s been a while. How’ve you been?”

The leader creaked his head toward Hanako. “You! How…” Hanako almost burst out laughing when his face first turned pale white, and then a deep, deep purple.

She continued, “I see you got new armor! How’s it holding up?”

At that, the leader snapped and lunged at her, drawing his sword. Hanako just stepped in and diverted his sword hand, and punched him in the solar plexus. Right as the punch landed, she brought up the memories of Wakayama, Gifu, and all the other ruined towns she’d witnessed, and let a sliver of the anger she felt creep into the punch, launching him a few inches into the air.

The leader wheezed for breath as he collapsed to the floor and lost consciousness. The other two backed up and turned to run. However, Hanako wasn’t willing to let them warn the rest of the army just yet, so she jumped past them, chopping one in the temple and knocking the other in the back of the head. Both dropped.

Once she wrestled her rage back under complete control, she turned to look back and realized her jump had broken the floorboards. She smiled apologetically to the innkeeper. “Sorry about that. Let me know how much it costs to fix that, and I’ll do what I can to repay you.”

Both the innkeeper and Chiaki stared at her in shock. “You’re… an oni.”

Oh, right. She’d used her powers. Hanako slowly reached up and touched her horn. “Erm, yeah. I’m not with the youkai army or anything, though; I hear they’re just as bad as these guys.”

For a long moment, no one said anything. Hanako turned toward the door. “These guys shouldn’t be dead; do whatever you want with them. A friend told me their armor sells for good money.”

She started to leave, but Chiaki called out, “Th-thank you! For saving me.”

When Hanako turned back, the smile on her face was the warmest it had been in a long time. “You’re welcome.”

<-Hanako First

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Hanako Next->

Current Draft of Hanako’s story (including unposted content)

28 September 2022

While I was mulling over the problems I had with the previous day’s short on Hanako, one of the ones that kept coming back to mind was how can Hanako freely enter towns if everyone fears and hates oni and other yokai like her? Then I decided to give her a charm that lets her appear human… so long as she isn’t channeling her strength or using any of her more supernatural abilities. I might play with that more later; we’ll see.

The old merchant is loosely based off the titular character from The Seven Faces of Dr. Lau, a really old movie about a Chinese circus man. The merchant himself may or may not be human. :)

Hanako hummed to herself as she strolled down the road. No one else was around, so she kept her hood down, and let the breeze rustle her hair. Overall, it was just a pleasant day.

Her daydream ended, however, when she heard shouts from just up the road. “Didn’t you hear me, old man? I said everything in the cart is now the property of the shogun’s army!”

Hanako hurried ahead, and found three of the shogun’s soldiers surrounding an old man on a cart. One of them was up in the old man’s face, hand on his sword.

As for the old man, he had a long, pointed white beard and wore a straw hat. Somehow, he looked utterly unperturbed. “But I can’t do that, young man. If you take everything, what can I sell to make my living as a merchant?”

The soldier snarled and grabbed the old man by the lapel. “The shogun’s armies are all that stand between citizens like you and the youkai army. As such, it is your duty–”

“Hey, hey.” Hanako cut into the man’s rant.

All three soldiers turned to look at her. The two on the ground immediately reached for their swords once they saw her horn.

Hanako ignored them and instead focused on the leader, tilting her head to the side quizzically. “You said you’re supposed to protect people from youkai and bandits and things, right? So why are you the ones robbing an old man?”

The leader’s face turned a curious shade of purple. “Get her!”

The two men rushed at her, but she didn’t even feel like she needed to harness her rage to avoid them. “Hey. Weren’t the shogun’s soldiers supposed to be good with swords?”

The men roared and started flailing at her. Hanako remembered the lesson her master had taught her, how untempered rage made you weak and left you open.

“I think I get it now, master,” she muttered to herself. She wove between their swords and chopped the two on the back of their necks, knocking them unconscious.

The leader growled and shoved the old man back. He drew his own sword and settled into his own stance, sword overhead. He watched Hanako carefully, gauging her movements.

“Oh!” Hanako exclaimed. She hadn’t had a chance to test her skill against a real swordsman since she’d left her home. With a fearless grin, she threw off her coat and drew her sword. They circled around each other for a while, and then with a shout, the leader attacked.

Hanako danced just outside the blade’s tip, then pivoted in and drove her hilt into the man’s jaw. His eyes rolled to the back of his head, and he slumped to the ground.

Hanako looked first at her sword, then the unconscious man, and finally the old man she’d just rescued. “Hey, hey, oji-san. Do you think all the shogun’s army are this weak?”

The old man roared with laughter. “You’re a fun one, young lady. I’m sure there’s bound to be a few of them that would give you a run for your money.” He glanced down to the scabbard at her belt. “That’s quite the sword you have, there.”

“Oh? Yeah.” Hanako smiled shyly. “It belonged to my master, before… Well.” She shrugged. “I do my best to be worthy of it.”

“Is that so?” The old man nodded to himself, but didn’t elaborate.

Hanako looked around at the unconscious soldiers. “What should we do with them?”

The old man shrugged. “Eh. tie them up and leave them by the road. Their comrades will be along soon enough to look for them, I’m sure.” Then he got a glint in his eye. “Oh, but let me have their armor! I’m sure I can sell it for a pretty penny.”

“Alright.” Hanako helped the old man load all the armor into his cart. “Which way are you going, by the way?”

The old man gestured back the way she’d come from, and her expression dropped. “Ah, okay. Have a safe trip, then, and watch out for more soldiers!”

She turned to leave, but the old man called out to her. “Wait just a second, young lady!” He rummaged through the things in his cart as he said, “It wouldn’t do to let you going without repaying your kindness, now would it? Ah, here it is.” He pulled out a gold filigree necklace, with a small pearl at the center.

Hanako’s eyes grew wide. “That, that’s too much! Besides, it’s so pretty; it wouldn’t really suit someone like me.”

“Nonsense!” The old man shoved the necklace onto her. “Besides, it’ll do you good. That pearl’s enchanted; as long as you don’t use your powers, it’ll make you look just like a human.”

Hanako’s breath caught in her throat, and she stared at the necklace for a moment befoe she gingerly tried it on. “D-do you have a mirror or something?”

“Right here.” The old man held out a hand mirror, and Hanako looked herself over. She still thought the necklace looked out of place, but it worked; she couldn’t see her horn at all. She beamed and hugged the old man, catching him by surprise.

“Thank you! Thank you thank you!” Hanako let the old man go and wiped her eyes. “You don’t know how much this means to me!”

“Ha ha.” The old man patted her on the shoulder. “You’re welcome, young lady.”

She bounced a couple time, gave him one more quick hug, and then raced off. “This is the best day ever!”

The old man watched her go, a wry smile on his lips. Once she was out of sight, he whispered to himself, “Your daughter seems to be growing quite well, old friend.” And with that, he turned his cart and headed off.

<-Hanako Previous

<-Hanako Previous Canonical (also the first Hanako chapter)

Hanako Next->

Current Draft of Hanako’s story (including unposted content)

27 September 2022

This immediately felt off as soon as I wrote it. It wasn’t until I was in the middle of work the next day that I figured out why, though; I wasn’t staying true to my image of Hanako. This Hanako is all “lone samurai” angst and sorrow and the world is terrible. The Hanako I originally established? She was willing and able to find the positive in almost any situation. Doesn’t mean she doesn’t have angst or angsty moments, but I try to remember to add her cheerful, almost cavalier attitude.

As a result, I actually rewrote the scene here, and expanded it. We’ll get to it once we reach October 6th and 8th entries for this year.

The town made no effort to welcome outsiders, but still, Hanako was able to get a room at the inn with little trouble. After she was certain she was alone, she finally pulled back her hood and heaved a sigh of relief. She ate a simple meal and went to sleep.

The next morning, however, she woke to find a battalion of the shogun’s army had camped nearby during the night. A squadron of them marched straight into the center of town; the commander ordered his men to take food and supplies, along with anything else they fancied, all while spouting some rhetoric about the glorious fight against youkai.

In her travels, Hanako had sometimes run into towns ransacked like this; destitute, heartbroken, and usually starving. The army were like locusts, devouring everything in their path.

Despite that, she knew better than to get involved; she couldn’t take on an entire army, no matter her strength and skill. Especially not one designed to hunt oni like her.

But when the commander moved to grab a young woman, Hanako caught him by the wrist. “You leave her - and the other members of the village - alone.”

The commander yanked his hand back and reached for his sword, sneering at her. “It is their duty, as citizens under the shogun, to serve our needs!! We defend them from the army of monsters, so this is only right!”

“Protect them?” Hanako asked quietly. “Like you protected Naha, where the people are so starved they’re boiling leather? Like you protected Tokushima, where the march of you feet turned their fields into wastelands? Or Gifu? Wakayama? Makuhari?” Hanako spat on the ground. “If you want to hunt monsters, commander, perhaps start with the rapists and thieves in your own army.”

The commander’s face burned red, and he barked an order to the rest of the squad. The five men all drew their swords and circled around Hanako.

The girl she’d saved had fled with the rest of the villagers, thankfully leaving the area clear. Hanako was grateful for that; less chance the soldiers would try to use someone as leverage. Hanako inhaled deeply, and drew her sword out only the first inch. Her rage snarled, eager for the fight.

As in on cue, all five soldiers jumped toward her at the same time, only to swing at empty air. Hanako danced between them, her sword flashing here and there, almost unseen in the dawn light. Only seconds had passed, but Hanako stood with her sword to the commander’s throat, while behind her his men’s armor clattered to the ground.

The sweat beading on the commander’s pale face took the bite out of his glare. “You will regret this!”

Hanako pushed the blade just a little harder against his skin. “Oh? Are you saying it would be better if I killed you and saved myself the trouble?”

The commander’s face turned bone white, and Hanako whispered, “As of this moment, this village is under my protection. If you don’t want to me to bleed you like the animals you are, you will take your men and never return. Am I clear?”

With a nod, the commander backed away, then turned and ran. His men followed after him, struggling to carry all their armor with them.

Hanako sighed, then sank to the ground against a wall. A few of the villagers gingerly stepped out onto the street. One, an elderly man Hanako assumed was the chief, stomped over to her. “What have you done!?”

“I saved a young woman,” Hanako replied tiredly.

“At the cost of the village! When they return, it will be a while battalion, bringing torches! Mark my words, there won’t be a building left standing!”

Of course. What else had she expected? Even without revealing her horn, she got the same reactions. “I’ll protect your village, don’t worry, old man. And you haven’t seen what I’ve seen. Once the army’s gone through… Well, let’s just say I don’t even call that surviving.”

The old man tried to rant at her some more, but Hanako tuned him out. Instead, she stood up, and began heading for her room in the inn.

On the way, the woman she’d saved stopped her. “Thank you.”

Hanako smiled back. “You’re welcome. You okay?”

The woman nodded.

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Hanako Next->

Current Draft of Hanako’s story (including unposted content)