27 April 2023 Notes

Alright, so I was typing in Hanako stuff today. (See here for what I was typing in at the time.) Where do I go from here? What happens to connect the father bit to Chiaki?

Keep the father bit short. (What is his name? This’d be a good place for him to naturally introduce himself…) The point is info on yokai–what would he know?

- -Mostly oni

-2 massive, bestial ushi-oni

I don’t need to showcase everything with this company; it’s a small splinter off the main army, after all. Who’s their commander, though? Would the father know/recognize them? How early into the attack did he and his daughter get out? Probably pretty early, since they made it that far before they got caught.

Are there ranks for oni? They have variance; how does that play into their battle formations? The twin sets fight in pairs; bigger/stronger ones might order whole gangs. They thrive on chaos… Hmm.

Does the father comment on everyone else? ANything I can think of for him to say on the subject sounds forced or unnatural, especially since he’s only just arrived, and they’re giving him a place to live and food to eat. …That’s it! He doesn’t but it does push him to more directly express his gratitude, since that’s all he can do for her.

…Why didn’t she quiz him about the yokai army back in the oni scouts scene? …He was obviously still scared of her then, and if she thought she could find out more clues in the area–or had already agreed to check in with Keiko–that would be enough.

21 April 2023 Notes

Had the idea that the yokai army has already destroyed a town between new Chizu and Nanmoku, and that’s where the father-daughter pair comes from. Also, that’s who the oni were chasing, not Chizu.

How does that change things? Makes initial convo w/ Keiko more urgent. K probably asks H to visit Chiaki, rather than it happening on H’s initiative. Is that an issue? …Should be fine.

What might the father say to H?Will he trust her? Do the other people in the area yet?

Daiki and Fumito–What are they like? How would they react to the ruined village? Are there any yokai lingering? Stragglers, or perhaps scavengers unaffiliated w/the army?

Potential yokai around ruined village:

Jorogumo–Could be really fun

Okuri inu–”Sounding off dog”--ferocious. Pounces on and eats those who trip/stumble. Focused on travlers.

Not here, but if disease comes up a Korōri encounter could be interesting.

Tsuchigumo–More spidery, more ambitious [than Jorogumo]. Uses all manner of illusions.

Kotengu–More of a pack/flock yokai

Where are the father and his daughter? Are they in the medical area, getting checked over? They’d be close to Chiaki, if so. Are the by the mess tent? That’d give more opportunities for us to see how the rest of the town reacts to her.

Connected Entry

13 April 2023

I decided to go ahead and move the encounter with Mikuzune to Nanmoku, and tried to figure out ways for Keiko and the other villagers to show support. Honestly, this whole bit feels pretty rough, still. I kinda want to expand on the two builders, let them become characters in their own right, but I’m not sure what they could contribute. If I do, I’d likely expand the trip a bit to include some of the banter or discussions they have enroute.

Really, this felt like a very gardener-style chapter, even more than usual, referring to the different ways authors craft stories (pulled from Brandon Sanderson in one of his online lectures, I think). I was going to have them all go straight to Nanmoku, but then imagining her discussion with the elder, and considering her personality some more, she really would go scope things out first. No idea what happens there, either; kind of want to know what I want her to be dealing with at the end of the arc before I start trying to foreshadow it.

Keiko met Hanako on her way out of town, along with two of the men from the construction crews, Daiki and Fumito. “You’re headed to Nanmoku, right?” she said, before Hanako could even ask what was going on. “Take these two with you. I can’t spare anyone else, not with winter coming, but if you get there early enough to make some preparations, these two will be able to help the town set up defenses.”

Hanako’s eyes widened a bit. She hadn’t thought of that. She nodded, and the trio headed out to warn Nanmoku.

The trip was mostly uneventful; it was only two to three days from where the Chizu residents were trying to rebuild. About half a day outside of Nanmoku, Hanako separated from the two workers.

“Warn them about what’s coming,” she said. “I’m going to try to scout around and pinpoint exactly where this yokai army is at.”

[Insert first encounters/glimpses of yokai army and return trip here]

Nanmoku was bigger than Hanako had expected. Nicer, too; the whole place had a clean feeling, despite the number of people that must live here.

The town’s most notable feature, though, had to be the shrine at the top of the mountain. Hanako herself wasn’t particularly religious; she would occasionally make offerings to her ancestors, including Master, but that was about it. Still, something about the place drew her.

The shrine itself was clearly well-cared for. It was swept clean, and everything seemed bright and freshly painted. Hanako entered and slowly made her way to the shrine itself. Awed by the general atmosphere of the place, she knelt before it and offered a prayer. “Please, let me protect them this time. Help me keep the town safe.”

When she stood, she noticed a miko she’d somehow missed on the way in standing a ways away. She was two to three inches taller than Hanako, and her warm brown hair was tied in a long braid down her back. Their eyes met, and the miko took a step toward Hanako. “Ah, pardon me. Is this your first time here? I don’t think I recognize you.”

“No, I’m new in town,” Hanako replied, with a shake of her head. She offered her hand. “My name’s Hanako.”

The miko clasped Hanako’s hand with both of hers. “Welcome! It’s a pleasure to meet you. You can call me Mikuzume.”

Hanako found a smile slipping onto her face. She asked, “By chance, could you tell me where I could find the village elder? I have some important news to give him.”

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Hanako Next->

Current Draft of Hanako’s story (including unposted content)

4 April 2023

I wrote this at about 11:30 last night. I couldn’t sleep, and I’d wanted to get back to writing anyway, so here we are. It’s been long enough that I barely remember any of what I was doing with any of my plot threads, but I love Hanako, and I’d wanted her to help Chiaki somehow. Then, while I was writing it, this moment wound up so much more important than I would have expected. This feels like the moment where Hanako commits to take the fight to the shogun. Though she still does have to get through the Yokai army first…

Some of you may be familiar enough with Japanese legends and mythology to recognize the name Mikuzume. That’s intentional, though it’s not the exact same entity. One of my major sources for yokai legends and facts is at Yokai.com, for anyone who’s interested.

Hanako stood outside the tent door for half a moment. “Chiaki? Mind if I come in?”

When no answer came, Hanako tentatively opened the flap and stepped inside. Chiaki was curled up on her cot, facing the tent wall. The space was small enough that Hanako could smell Chiaki; the girl hadn’t had the energy to bathe, it seemed.

What could Hanako say in a situation like this? What could she do? She almost reached out and placed a hand on Chiaki’s shoulder, but eventually let it fall. Hanako’s own guilt devoured her. Eventually, all she could do was sit on the floor, back against the cot. In a voice so soft it was barely audible, she whispered, “I’m sorry.”

The cot shifted behind her. To Hanako’s surprise, Chiaki spoke. “Why? Why did it have to be us?”

Hanako bit her lip. Was Chiaki talking about her? Or the shogun’s men? “I don’t know.”

“I just… I can’t stop thinking about it. That day. When they came to the inn, and later with the torches. I… I hate them!”

Hanako turned to face Chiaki. The girl’s expression had twisted into a grim mask of rage and grief. Chiaki’s gaze pierced into Hanako. “You’ll kill them, right? The shogun. His men.”

Hanako’s blood froze. She’d never considered it before. Take on the shogun himself? “I… I don’t know that I can.”

Chiaki blinked, then slowly turned back toward the wall. Before she closed off completely, though, Hanako added, “But I will do everything I can to stop him. These raids… the way he treats people… it’s not okay. ”

Chiaki turned back to face her. Hanako smiled awkwardly. “But… I definitely can’t do that alone. Will you help me?”

For several seconds, Chiaki didn’t respond. Hanako started to worry she’d broken something important in the girl. Then a shy smile broke out on Chiaki’s face. “Ok.”

A huge grin of relief split Hanako’s face. “Thanks. You might want tot start by getting cleaned up; you don’t exactly smell like roses right now.”

Chiaki blushed, and Hanako left the tent. She was greeted by a beautiful woman in her early thirties. A nurse? “That was quite the bold statement. Did you mean what you said?”

Right. Tent walls. Probably not the best when it comes to soundproofing. Hanako nodded and said, “It’s… going to be hard. Maybe impossible. But I want to try.” She was actually a little surprised at how invested in this she felt. It wasn’t a bad feeling, though. “I’m Hanako.”

The nurse tipped her head. “You can call me Mikuzume.”

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Current Draft of Hanako’s story (including unposted content)

31 December 2022

Happy New Year! Or, so it was when I wrote this.

You may have noticed I actually backtrack a little bit. One of the original ideas I had involved the kids actually being awed by her and wanting to learn from her, only for their parents to come in and take them away, afraid Hanako would “be a bad influence” since she’s too human, and I changed it to fit the new direction I took the scene. I may try that version out at some point, still; I’m not sure which fits the main drive of the story better. The one below draws closer parallels to the way she was treated elsewhere, and show that the people are pretty much the same. The original shows a different take on how she could be left out or shunned, and the contrast between the two might drive that home deeper. I haven’t decided yet.

On instinct alone, she spun around and caught it… only for it to burst in her hand, drenching her face and clothes in water.

She glared at the boy who threw it, an ebony oni bigger than the rest with a single horn. All the kids shrank back, terrified. Out of one of the houses nearby a bookish-looking blue oni rushed out and stood between Hanako and the kids, arms outstretched. “Don’t! They’re only children!”

Hanako’s eyes went wide, and she turned away. What did he think she was going to do? “Even among other yokai, they only see me as a monster, I guess.”

She turned and walked away, not even glancing at their expressions after her comment, and decided to go back to the inn. If anything else happened that day, Hanako wasn’t sure she could take it.

A couple hours later, she was sitting at a table with Nobuhito. He was the only one who didn’t treat her differently from anyone else. She cradled her head in one arm and rested it on the table, while she fiddled with her glass with her free hand.

For a long time, neither of them said anything. Then Hanako muttered, “The humans look at me and only see an oni. The yokai, oni included, look at me and only see a yokai-slaying human. Either way, they only see me as a monster. What’s the point anymore?”

Beside her, the kappa shrugged. “To be fair, most in this village have special reason to fear humans. Many were, themselves, chased out or hunted by them. Even those that weren’t have heard the stories.” He paused, then gestured to Hanako’s kamishimo. “How many of those hunters wore outfits exactly like that?”

Hanako frowned. “But this is…” Her words trailed off as she thought about it more. For her, it was a symbol of honor and respect. But, for these people…

“What else can I not see?” Hanako muttered to herself.

The kappa shrugged again, and quietly sipped at his tea. Hanako stared at him for a while, then asked, “Do you think this is what Lord Isshin meant when he said I wouldn’t find a home here?”

“Most likely.” Nobuhito put his cup down, then looked into Hanako’s eyes. “Whatever else, you were raised by humans, and so to some extent you think like them, act like them. You also carry many of the same implicit biases, even if you are unaware of it. Now I know not all humans hate yokai, but…” He gestured outside. “They do not.”

Hanako chewed on his words for the next hour or so, and then excused herself and retired to bed. No matter what she did, though, sleep wouldn’t come. Her experiences that day, combined with Nobuhito’s words, kept circling in her brain.

The next morning, Hanako packed all her things and headed downstairs. She left her room key at the front desk, and when the tanuki stared up at her in shock, she gave him the biggest, most sincere smile she could. She bowed and said, “thank you for taking such good care of me during my time here. I hope your business keeps running well.”

The tanuki could only nod, and Hanako went outside. She made a point to track down Nobuhito and bid him farewell, and thanked the handful of people who’d tried to help her during her stay. Then she took one last look at Ashina village, squared her shoulders, and headed back out into the world.

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Current Draft of Hanako’s story (including unposted content)

30 December 2022

This whole segment of Hanako’s story has been interesting to write. I hope Isshin’s thoughts and intentions when he said what he did are clear. I think so, but I’m also a bit too close to the story to have a clear picture. There’s one more short-ish section to go tomorrow, and the Ashina village arc will be done for the time being. I plan on shelving Hanako for most of January, actually, to focus on other things, like the Majesty storyline.

Hanako almost attacked him but she managed to restrain that impulse at the last moment. “Who are you?”

The tengu raised an eyebrow, and behind Hanako, the tanuki started trembling. He hissed, “That’s Ashina Isshin, lord of this village!”

Hanako’s face flushed and she dropped to one knee. “I, I’m sorry! I’m new in town, and didn’t know who you are, and–”

“It’s quite alright.” He waved it away, then stared at the tanuki. “And what is happening here?”

“Er, well, this girl seems to think this sword belongs to her, when it’s been in my family for years.”

Once more the tengu raised an eyebrow and looked at Hanako. “And what do you say?”

She took a deep breath. “Yesterday, when I checked in, that sword wasn’t there. Sometime last night, even though I’d locked the door, my sword was stolen from me. When I got downstairs, I saw it there.”

The tengu nodded. “Was this sword important to you?”

“Well, yeah. It was my master’s. He passed it to me when he died.”

“And who was your master?”

Hanako had to think for a moment. “Kojima. His name was Kojima.”

“I see.” He extended a hand to the tanuki. “May I see the sword?”

The tanuki handed it over, and Lord Isshin inspected every inch of the blade. “Did you know I had a student once, who wanted to learn the sword?”

Hanako cocked her head. Where had that come form? The tanuki meanwhile just shook his head.

“He was a young man. A human, actually, of all things. He had a purity I’d never seen before or since; he was devoted to the sword, but he used it only to protect what was important to him. He had no love for the shedding of blood.” He looked first at Hanako, and then the tanuki. “His name was Kojima.”

Hanako’s eyes widened, and the tanuki’s face turned white as a sheet. With the barest hint of a smile at the corner of his mouth, Lord Isshin asked, “Do you still wish to claim this sword belongs to your family?”

The tanuki shook his head, and Isshin handed Hanako the sword. Hanako bowed deeply. “Thank you very much!”

Once again, Isshin just waved it off. “There is no need for that. Besides, I did it more for his sake than yours.”

The tanuki looked confused. “Mine?”

“Indeed. She is an oni, after all; she doesn’t need a sword to wreck destruction. Based on the power I felt, were I only a few seconds later, you would no longer have an inn, assuming you’d even survived.”

With wide eyes, the tanuki looked from Isshin to Hanako and back again. Then, after a moment, he fainted and fell back to the floor.

Hanako hugged the sord tight to her chest. “Once again, thank you, sir.”

“Think nothing of it.” Isshin turned to leave, then paused. “You are certainly welcome to stay in this village as long as you like. However… I doubt you will find a home here.”

After the relief from getting her sword back, it felt like someone had driven a spike into Hanako’s heart. By the time she’d recovered enough to ask what he meant, though, Lord Isshin had already left.

The next few weeks were rough. The tanuki refused to let Hanako pay for anything, and did everything he could to make her stay comfortable. In some ways, that was a lifesaver; Hanako didn’t have a lot of money, and she struggled to find work in the village. But it left a bad taste in her mouth; it reminded her too much of the fear the one merchant had, when during a guard job she’d been outed as an oni and he’d thrown her a whole sack of gold, in the hopes she’d leave them alone.

As for the rest of the village… A few had heard about the incident at the Lucky Tanuki, and avoided her out of fear. Most, however, seemed indifferent. They rarely ever explicitly excluded her, but none of them did anything to include her, either. And no one seemed willing to give a job to a swordswoman who smelled human. After all, the town was peaceful, and didn’t need warriors. And there were plenty of other oni around for physical labor.

The clincher, though, came one day while she was wandering the streets. A group of children, including a small nure-onna, a rokurokubi, and maybe 3-4 oni, started jeering at her. This wasn’t the first time, and they were just kids, so hanako fully intended to ignore them like usual.

This time, though, one of them grew brave and threw a water balloon at her. On instinct alone, she spun around and caught it, without letting it burst.

The kids all stared at her, mouths open, and Hanako couldn’t help but grin.

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Current Draft of Hanako’s story (including unposted content)

27 December 2022

My biggest concern with this scene (both this part and the ones surrounding it) is my depiction of the tanuki. As I understand it, they’re pranksters, and rarely if ever actively malicious. Not that the guy here is, but he doesn’t give off the vibe of toying with or playing with Hanako that a natural prankster would have… One of the options I’m considering is that he was trying to protect Ashina from this human-affiliated person by removing her weapon, but in that case his approach still seems a bit off here, and there’d be some major issues in the next section. I’ll want to think on that some more.

…breakfast. She stopped in her tracks, though, the moment she saw what was hanging above the front desk.

Hanako’s rage flared awake, but she kept a lid on it, and even managed to make a convincing smile as she approached the tanuki. “Hey, hey. Owner-san. Where did you get that sword?”

When the tanuki replied, he seemed utterly at ease, as if that wasn’t clearly the sword Hanako had brought in just the evening before. “Oh, that? Old family heirloom. My grandfather used it in battle a hundred years ago.”

The beast in Hanako’s chest roared, but she managed to keep her anger out of her face. She leaned in and rested an elbow on the desk. “Really? Because it looks a lot like my sword, before it was stolen sometime last night. Even though my room was locked.”

“I’m sorry to hear you were robbed,” the tanuki said. “Wish there was something I could do to help, but we have a very strict policy. We are not liable for any theft or lost possessions during your stay with us.”

The edge of the table crunched in Hanako’s grip, but otherwise she maintained her calm. “Hey, Owner-san. That sword wasn’t there yesterday. If it’s a family heirloom, why would that be?”

The tanuki shrugged. “Why would an oni have human money? Or use a sword instead of a kanabo. When you reek of human like you do, that’s pretty suspicious.”

What? “You don’t believe I’m an oni? Do you need to touch my horn or something?”

“I’m just saying. Even this conversation isn’t a very oni-ish way to handle things.”

The anger  that’d been building since Hanako had arrived in Ashina started to break free. So she wasn’t “oni” enough for him? He wanted to see the monstrous side of her? Fine. She could show him what it really meant to anger an oni.

The tanuki’s face paled. Hanako wasn’t sure at first if she’d already started leaking pressure, when the tanuki bowed to someone behind her and she felt a hand on her shoulder.

She spun around to find a tengu, seven and a half feet tall and rail thin.

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Current Draft of Hanako’s story (including unposted content)

26 December 2022

Pretty simple section today, but setting things up for how much she will feel out of place later.

Honestly, I’m a bit worried about how I portrayed Nobuhito. I want him to seem odd, but not stand-offish. I also want to make it clear that he’s a bit of an outcast in Ashina society even if it doesn’t bother him much.

When she arrived, she found a warm, inviting inn with an image of a dancing tanuki hanging from the sign post. Inside, she found a rotund, cheerful tanuki behind the counter, and off to the right a handful of other customers milling around the dining area. Among them was a kappa with graying hair, sitting by himself in the corner, sipping tea.

The tanuki gave her a big wide smile. “Welcome, welcome! What can we do for you today?”

“Um, yeah.” Hanako shuffled her feet. “I’m going to need a room for a few days. And I heard there’s someone here who can trade yen for zenni?”

The tanuki’s eyes widened for half a second, but he kept his smile and he gestured to the kappa Hanako had seen earlier. “Nobuhito should be able to help you out. He’s a bit of an odd one; a bit too fascinated with the humans. But he should be able to help you out.”

Hanako thanked him and headed toward the kappa. As soon as she walked into the main dining area, everyone stopped and stared at her, their eyes flickering from her horn to her clothes to her sword. She did her best to ignore all that, though, and sat down in front of the kappa. “Are you Nabuhito?”

The kappa slowly looked up and blinked at her. “Why do you want to know?”

She pulled her purse onto the table and pulled out a few coins. “I… don’t have the right money for here, I guess. I’ve only ever worked with yen, ab the people here only accept ‘zenni’. Could you help me out?”

Nobuhito took one of the coins and examined it closely. He took it in his beak and bit on it, and in wonder he said, “These are real!”

“Of course they’re real.” Hanako’s eyebrows scrunched together. “Why wouldn’t they be?”

The kappa gave Hanako a long, appraising look. “Why did you come to Ashina?”

The question surprised Hanako. “Well, I mean, this is a village for yokai, right? I wanted to be somewhere I belonged, a place to call home.”

Nobuhito tapped the coin on the table. “But you can earn human money. You found a way to live among them, Unless you stole or killed for it?”

Anger flashed in Hanako’s eyes, before she brought it back under control. “I’d never do that.” She rested a hand on her sword. “I was lucky enough to put my master’s skills to use protecting people. But… well, they never really accepted me.” She smiled sadly, then forced herself to cheer up. “But hey, I’m around a bunch of other oni and yokai now, right?”

“Hmm.” The kappa stared at her a while longer, then pulled her purse over and counted the contents. “I’ll give you five fifty for all this.”

Hanako hesitated. Was that a fair deal? She realized she didn’t know enough about the value of zenni to be able to tell. Still, kappa were widely regarded as honest and honorable, so she nodded.

The kappa handed her a different type of coin, and she got up and paid for a room for the next week. She considered going out and exploring the town, but the day’s events had been surprisingly draining, so she locked the door and went straight to bed.

The next morning, when Hanako woke up, her sword was missing. She practically tore the room apart looking for it. The door was still locked, as was the window, so how would anyone have gotten in?

Finally, despondent, she trudged down the stairs to breakfast.

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Current Draft of Hanako’s story (including unposted content)

23 December 2022

I wanted to show that Hanako is caught between worlds; neither human nor truly yokai, at least as far as they’re concerned. So this arc is a little bittersweet at best, maybe outright tragic, even though I don’t plan on anyone dying.

I actually did a fair amount of research on different kinds of yokai for this, to make Ashina village feel as vibrant and diverse as possible. If anyone else needs a reference, my primary source was yokai.com. They have all kinds of information on there, with illustrations to help give a better idea what they’re talking about. It also includes specific individuals from old stories and fairy tales, like Tamamo no Mae, Shuten-doji, or Urashima Taro.

And yes, I shamelessly named the village (and its ruler, Lord Isshin) after locations and people in Sekiro. I have no regrets.

1-2 years before the destruction of Chizu

When Hanako had heard rumors of a hidden yokai village in the mountains, she wasn’t sure she believed it. Between the strength of the shogunate and the reclusive nature of many yokai, it seemed too good to be true.

Yet now, six months later, here she stood, at the gates of the Ashina castle village. Maybe here she’d find a place where she belonged.

An easy smile fell to her lips as she squared her shoulders and walked inside. Her jaw almost dropped, though, when she saw the marketplace. A group of kappa drunkenly belted out enka songs from an outdoor pub, while a nekomata couple fawned over each other as they walked down the street, their four tails intertwining. One yokai that looked like a giant umbrella with a long tongue hopped up and down on its single foot as it argued with a tengu merchant.

And mixed in with all that were dozens and dozens of oni. Red, blue, black, white, yellow; anywhere from a single horn to a crown of five; walking alone or whole families herding kids around for a day out. Part of Hanako wondered if she’d died and gone to heaven.

Or at least, she did until she accidentally bumped into a large, blue-skinned oni with a single horn. Hanako turned to apologize, but the oni only wrinkled his nose. “You reek of human.”

Eh? Hanako paused and tried to sniff herself, but she couldn’t smell anything. What did human even smell like?

After that, though, she began noticing little things. Like the way most parents herded their children away from her, or how shopkeepers wouldn’t meet her gaze. Still, it wasn’t like she could let this get her down. She approached a woman selling baked goods and cheerfully asked, “Hello! I’m new in town, and I need a place to stay. Do you know where I could go?”

The woman’s head rose a bit to look at Hanako better, stretching out her neck and proving her to be a rokurokubi. “Yeah, I know a couple places.” She poked her head out into the street and looked right. “If you’re only here for two or three days, I’d go to the Kirin’s Rest; it’s a bit pricey, but the rooms are worth it, and they won’t cause a fuss. That’s here on this street, about two blocks up to the left. If you’re going to be here a week or more, though, I’d head to the Lucky Tanuki; take the next right and follow that until it curves around to the north, and it’ll be on your right. The rooms aren’t as nice, but they’re cheap, and the food is good.”

“Thank you!” Hanako looked over the rokurokubi’s pastries. “Could I get four daifuku, too?”

“Of course! That’ll be twelve zenni.”

Hanako’s hand froze halfway into her purse. Zenni? What was that? She pulled out a few coins and stared at them. “Umm… Is there a way I could pay in yen? Or is there a place I could exchange money?”

The rokurokubi stared at Hanako like she was an exotic creature at a traveling circus. Hanako blushed furiously and scratched at her cheek. “I, uh… I’m sorry. I didn’t know what to expect when I finally found this place. I haven’t actually heard of zenni, before.”

The silence continued long enough to get awkward, before the rokurokubi finally said, “Er, well… There’s a kappa that hangs out at the Lucky Tanuki I told you about. He’s kind of strange, but he should be able to help you.” She packaged a pair of daifuku and handed it to Hanako. “Here. On the house.”

Still blushing, Hanako bowed and thanked the woman, then scurried off to find the Lucky Tanuki.

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Current Draft of Hanako’s story (including unposted content)

19 December 2022

The final part of her encounter with the oni scouts. I’m honestly not sure on a lot of things with this scene (both the previous part and this one); is Shuten-doji the Youkai King? If so, is he this one or the last one? I’ve been researching Japanese mythology, yokai in particular, to prepare for this story and its various pieces, but I’m on the fence on what to use and how to use it. I don’t want to disrespect the established legends, for one thing. There’s also the fact that Hanako’s story does not take place in Japan, at least the way it’s written now, and I worry that using established figures like Shuten-doji or Tamamo no Mae will make people think it does. I’m definitely drawing heavily there for inspiration, after all…

I’d say the only solutions I can come up with are to make it explicit somehow this isn’t Japan, or to spend time in Japan, do a lot of research, and change place and people’s names to reflect Japan itself. Right now, I don’t think it’s a big deal, where I’m not official publishing this or anything, but it’s something I want to keep in mind.

“Don’t worry about it.” He stroked his chin. “Y’know, all this talk’s got me craving some now.” He gestured to Red. “Grab the bigger one; we’ll save the small one for last. She’ll be the most tender.”

Red glowered at Yellow and grumbled, but he walked over to grab the father. Hanako considered herself lucky she’d gotten as much information out of them as she had. When Red walked past her, she stood and drew her sword. “I’m afraid I can’t let you do that.”

Blue and Yellow exclaimed in surprise and reached for their weapons, but she’d already stabbed Red through the chest before any of the three could react.

Red roared as Hanako pulled her sword free, and she could feel the waves of anger pulsing off of him. He charged her, hands outstretched, but she danced to the side and lopped off his arm as casually as a noble woman might wave her fan.

Blue swung his own kanabo at her, and did his best to stay out of range of her sword, but she dodged and jumped inside his reach. SHe drove her knee into his groin and used the pommel of her sword to bash him in the head, dazing him.

Before she could finish him off, the yellow one released a burst of pressure, though it was barely enough to catch her attention. “You’re good, I’ll give you that,” he sneered. “But do you think a lowly red oni like you could do anything to me?”

Hanako cocked her head. “Ne, oji-san. Was that supposed to be scary?”

Both Yellow and Blue froze. Red had turned and roared at her, and was about to rush in when she said, “Shouldn’t it be more like this?”

And with that, she released all the pressure, all the anger she felt, both from the threat they posed to the Chizu refugees and for this family who’d lost everything. Red stopped in his tracks and began cowering away from her, and both Yellow and Blue fell back on their butts.

Yellow tried in vain to scooch away from her as she slowly walked towards him. “But…how? How?”

Hanako thought for a moment. Then she shrugged. “Practice? Or else it’s because I’ve got something to protect.” She raised her sword and cleaved his head from his body.

Before the body even hit the ground, though, Blue’s voice yelled from behind her, “Drop your sword!”

Hanako spun around, and found him holding the girl by the neck in front of him. His eyes were desperate, as if they’d seen a monster. Hanako found that ironic on a number of levels. He repeated, “Give us your sword, or she dies!”

It only took a moment for Hanako to decide what to do. A small smile played at her lips. “Alright, then. Catch.” She sheathed her sword and tossed it to Blue. His eyes left her for a moment, and Hanako took the chance to dart in. As he caught her sword with his free hand, she drove her fist into his solar plexus, and when he doubled over, she twisted his head and broke his neck.

She retrieved her sword and faced the final oni left. “So what are you going to do, big guy?”

Red looked from Yellow’s corpse to Blue’s body, then up at Hanako, who’s innocent smile didn’t match the hardness in her gaze. He backed away a couple steps, then turned and ran off into the forest.

Hanako turned to the two captives, who looked up at her in fear. She sighed, then removed their gags and began to untie them.

“Who… Who are you?” the father asked.

“Just a wandering swordswoman.” Hanako finished up and stepped back. “There’s a group of refugees about two hours’ walk north of here. Follow this road to the river, then turn right and follow that up. Ask for a woman named Keiko; she’s running things right now.” She turned to leave. “Tell her Hanako sent you.”

She turned to leave, when the father asked, “How can we trust you?”

Hanako looked back at the two oni she’d just killed. Her eyes met the father’s. “If that’s not proof enough, I don’t know what would be. The choice is yours, though.”

And without another word, Hanako left.

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Current Draft of Hanako’s story (including unposted content)

17 December 2022

This is the first time we’ve seen Hanako interact with any other yokai, and I kind of wanted to show that she’s caught between worlds. This isn’t the best scene for it; I plan to add another scene, maybe set before the Chizu village arc, where she actually finds a yokai settlement (maybe predominantly oni, maybe not), and show how wary they are of her. Still, I hope I captured a bit of that feeling here…

When Hanako noticed the tracks leading off the road, she wasn’t sure if it was instinct, caution, or curiosity that compelled her to follow them. Whatever it was, she was grateful.

At the other end of them, she found a trio of large, male oni, each a different color but all around eight feet tall, gathered around a fire. Some creature–it looked to be the remains of a horse–turned on a spit above it.

Off to the side, a father and daughter were trussed up, quivering in fear. The girl couldn’t have been more than ten years old. The ruins of a wagon rested on the other side of the fire, its contents strewn about, either broken or devoured. A bit of bile rose into Hanako’s throat, and she desperately hoped the mother of the family hadn’t been traveling with them. 

Hanako took a moment to consider how she wanted to approach this. Then she put away the charm she got from the old merchant and walked out into the clearing. “Hiya! What’s cooking?”

The oni stopped their conversation to look at her. The red one even got up and reached for his kanabo. All of them, including Hanako, ignored the muffled screams of the father and daughter when they saw her.

The blue one glared at her. “And who are you?”

Hanako beamed at him and held out her hand. “Hanako! Nice to meet you.”

After an awkward moment, the blue on sneered and spat off to the side. “You reek of human.”

There it was again. What did that even mean? Hanako had spent so much time around humans she couldn’t tell. “Occupational hazard, I suppose?”

The third–the largest of the three, with a yellowish tint to his skin–studied Hanako carefully. “Y’know, rumor’s goin’ ‘round about the shogun’s pet oni. You hear anythin’ about that?”

“Oh, her. “ Hanako’s face soured. “Yeah, I ran into her once. Big, blue woman. Seemed like bad news.”

The yellow one seemed satisfied with her answer. “Got fresh-cooked horse for now. But if you’re patient, well…” He flashed a cruel smile at the father and daughter. “We’ve got a real delicacy comin’ later.”

Hanako plopped herself down next to Blue, across the fire from where Yellow reclined. “Huh. I thought what’s-his-bucket had strict rules about eating humans.”

Blue looked over at the red one. “Sit down, already!” He smiled at Hanako. “That’s old news. After the shogun started his campaign, Shuten-doji deposed the old man as the Yokai King, and eliminated all those laws. Only for his army, of course. Gotta incentivise people somehow.”

“Oh-ho. So you three are all in the new King’s army, then? What are you doing out here?”

Red spoke up for the first time. “We scout. Shogun’s men near here, burned village.” His smile turned ferocious. “If lucky, we eat survivors.”

The beast inside pushed against Hanako’s ribcage. That was Keiko, Chiaki, and the others he was talking about. But she held it back for the time being and pretended to look thoughtful. “Sounds tempting. How would I join? The main army nearby?”

Yellow snorted. “The big armies are up north; better to avoid that, I say. No, you wanna join, head southeast toward Nanmoku. Our company’s going to hit there next.”

Hanako beamed at him. “Thanks for the info.”

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Current Draft of Hanako’s story (including unposted content)

29 October 2022

Round two on the final battle. I like this one a lot more; there’s still a few tweaks I made to it after this on the 31st, but overall, this is the core of what I used.

I’m still iffy on the general offering Hanako a place with the shogun’s army. Just feels off. But he needed to say something. I’ll likely change that at a later date, especially if I wind up doing anything more formal with this story.

Hanako didn’t know how much of what she felt was rage and how much was panic. As she jumped back toward the village, all she could think about was the village elder’s face as he’d screamed, “She’s doomed us all!”

It wasn’t long before she ran into a group of people running into the forest. She recognized the woman who’d defended her against the village elder, who seemed to be the one keeping everyone together. Hanako stopped and asked, “What’s going on?”

The woman replied, “The army attacked. A massive group of them, from the north. Benjiro gathered what people he could to slow down and let us escape, but…” She shook her head. “They’re mostly just old men and boys.”

Hanako’s chest tightened. “I’m on my way. Be careful; there was another force further that way. I took care of most of them, but there could be stragglers.”

The woman nodded. “Thank you.”

Hanako turned to leave, but she caught sight of Chiaki, with vacant eyes and tears flowing down her cheeks. “Chiaki?”

She reached out to her, but the woman from before pulled her back. “Leave her be.”

“What… what happened?”

“Her mother was one of the first to fight back; Chiaki was still there when they killed her. We managed to pull her away before anything worse happened, but…”

Ice ran through Hanako’s veins as memories of the gentle innkeeper passed through her mind. She hadn’t known the woman long, but it was enough to have earned Hanko’s respect. The beast inside Hanako’s chest strained against her control, almost breaking free, and tears pooled in her eyes, though they didn’t fall yet. “Be safe.”

“You too.” The woman waved her off, and Hanako dashed for the village.

Once she arrived, over half of it was already aflame. Soon she arrived at a makeshift tent that had been set up, which seemed to serve as a hospital of sorts. Among the handful inside, the boy who’d lifted a sword too big for him lay on a cot, clutching his stomach. His sister sat next to him, clutching his arm as she pleaded, “Satoru! Satoru!”

Hanako almost stopped, but if she didn’t take care of the army, nothing she did here would matter. So she ignored the ache in her chest and rushed toward the sound of fighting ahead. On the way, she thought she caught sight of the village elder, eyes open, sword in hand, laying in the street.

When she finally arrived at the battlefront, she saw their commander, an old, white-haired general, with the captain she’d fought in town earlier beside him. A few dozen soldiers were scattered around, fighting the last of the villagers who tried to resist.

“That’s her, sir,” the captain said. “The oni swordswoman.”

The general studied Hanako. “So Suzune failed to pin her down.”

The last threads on Hanako’s control began to fray, and she pulled out her sword. The general looked unconcerned. “You, swordswoman. You don’t carry yourself like other oni. Would you consider joining the shogun’s forces?”

Hanako was incredulous. “For what? More of this? Burned villages and murdered townsfolk?”

A few soldiers flinched at that, but the general remained impassive. “We only do the will of the shogun.”

That was the last push. The restraints on Hanako’s wrath snapped, and she roared into the army in a storm of steel and blood. Everything blurred together as tears streamed down her face. She vaguely remembered cutting down the general and the captain; there was also a group of soldiers who moved to surround her only to lose their heads. Another group tried nets; before they could throw them, though, she stomped the ground, and the weakened village buildings collapsed on top of them.

Even after the troops broke ranks and began to flee, Hanako’s wrath drove her on, and she screamed as she cut them down. By the time she came to her senses, she stood alone on a field of corpses.

Hanako sank to her knees, and gazed at the devastated village as it burned. She looked down at her blood soaked hands, and then screamed to the sky.

By the time Suzune had come to and gathered what was left of her forces, everything was over. They’d hobbled to the village, in hopes to rendezvous with the rest of the army. But when they arrived, they could only look in horror. Captain Ito watched the flames flicker against the dying light of evening; he’d been assigned as an archer to Suzune’s force, and was one of the few lucky enough to escape uninjured.

Suzune’s attention, however, wasn’t on the village, but on a lone figure kneeling in the blood and muck a little ways away. One of her other men also noticed and moved to draw his bow, but Suzune pushed it back down.

The men all looked to her. “Unless you managed to kill her with a single shot,” she explained, “which I doubt, you’d engage us in a fight we’re in no condition to win. Besides…” she looked around the devastation around them. “I think there’s been enough death here today.”

She signaled the retreat, but while the rest of her force turned to head back, she continued staring at Hanako. “Say, Captain Ito.” She spoke softly, and Ito paused. “When we die, do you think anyone will weep for us like that?”

Ito turned and looked at the red haired oni girl. “After what I’ve seen here,” he whispered, “I honestly don’t know.”

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Current Draft of Hanako’s story (including unposted content)

28 October 2022

So, here we are, the first draft of the final battle. It’s interesting how different it is from the forest battle with Suzune and her men; that was very technical, with the focus on the action. This one seemed to call for a more emotion-centric approach. That’s actually why I redid it; I didn’t think I pulled in enough emotional weight for Hanako’s reactions to make sense.

I thought the bit with the general was cool, though, even if the changes I made make it non-canon now.

Hanako didn’t know how much of what she felt was rage and how much was panic. As she jumped back toward the village, all she could think about was the village elder’s face as he’d screamed, “She’s doomed us all!”

By the time she’d gotten close, several buildings, including the inn, were aflame. Most of the villagers fled before the soldiers; what few tried to plead with them had been cut down. A small group was doing their best to defend the retreating masses from the army, but even at this distance Hanako could tell they wouldn’t last long.

Like a whisper in her ear, Hanako heard the words, “You’ve doomed us all.” And with that, the last tethers on her rage broke, and she roared into the rear of the army in a storm of steel and blood.

Everything blended together. She vaguely remembered a group of soldiers tried to surround her, only to lose their heads. Another group tried to throw nets and entangle her; she stomped, shaking the earth so much they dropped the nets, where she picked them up and flung them about like a flail.

Even after the troops broke ranks and began to flee, Hanako’s wrath drove her on, and she roared as she cut them down. It was only when the commander, a white-haired general stood before her that she wrenched herself out of her haze of wrath.

Around them, flames crackled and devoured the village. Hanako gestured around them. “Is this what you and your shogun want? Burned villages and murdered families? All for what?”

The general set his face to stone. “I only do the will of the shogun.”

The general had been loyal to the shogun his whole life. He did not doubt. He did not question. He simply moved as an extension of the shogun’s will. 

So when he realized the village had little to nothing in the way of defenses, he thought little of it. They had sheltered an oni; therefore, they were enemies of the shogunate. It was as simple as that.

The first flickers of doubt crept into his mind, however, when he saw the village elder draw his weapon and lead the few men they had left against the army. The general had asked, “I thought you denied sheltering the oni?”

The village elder smiled wryly, even as he barely managed to turn the general’s sword away from his body. “I am ashamed to admit it, but that is the truth. Had we known what she was, we never would have let her in.”

“Ashamed?” The general waved around them. “Would that not have saved your village?”

The elder snorted. “There are worse things than death. That girl reminded me of that. We were doomed the moment you camped near our gates.”

And the general killed him. But the elder’s words struck a chord.

It was not long thereafter when the oni crashed into his army like a blazing red comet. The general watched her fight in amazement. There was no more attempts to be non-lethal; this time, she was here for the slaughter. Yet even in that, the general could not help but feel reverence at her grace and skill; he’d rarely seen that in human swordsmen, much less the monstrous oni.

Yet even then, what struck him most wasn’t her swordplay or destructive power. It was the tears that streamed down her face.

“I only do the will of the shogun.”

They held each other’s gaze for just a moment. With a yell, they charged at each other at the same moment. Once they’d crossed paths, the blade of the general’s sword fell to the ground where it had been cut, and he began to bleed at the throat. Yet he still had time to whisper, “Magnificent,” before he collapsed to the ground.

Moments later, Hanako sank to her knees, and for the first time she noticed the tears that had been streaming down her face. She looked down at her blood soaked hands, and then screamed to the sky.

<-Hanako First

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Current Draft of Hanako’s story (including unposted content)

24 October 2022

This was fun. I’d actually taken graph paper to map out where everyone was and how they moved, and it is such a mess. I’m glad I took notes “round by round” so I could understand what was happening because that map looks illegible now. It does make it clear where all the action is concentrated, though.

The mapping and choreography actually happened on the 22, while I was watching the black belt clinic my brother had organized it, but I got home super late that night and didn’t want to feel rushed to write this scene in its entirety before bed.

Suzune headed the force as they followed the road through the forest. The other officers claimed she was “more likely to survive an ambush”, not that she minded. Up front was where she was most likely to satisfy her battle-lust.

Even she couldn’t hide her surprise, though, when they found a redheaded girl cheerily eating lunch off the side of the road. Her hair was tied back in a ponytail, and she wore a simple kamishiro with red accents. To make the image particularly surreal, a cart filled with tied up ahlf-naked men was parked beside her. Suzune recognized some of them from the missing members of Takamoto’s squad.

The girl looked up and beamed at them. “Good afternoon!” Her eyes locked onto Suzune. For a moment, the girl was stunned silent, but then she rushed up. “Are you an oni, too? I hadn’t expected to meet one here! I thought the shogun hated yokai? Oh, is that a kanabo!? I’ve never actually seen one in real life before!”

This was the oni swordswoman? Suzune couldn’t help feeling bitter as she swallowed her disappointment. The girl couldn’t be any older than she was, and stood a full head shorter than her. Suzune moved her kanabo out of the girl’s reach and asked, “So you’re the oni swordmaster we’ve heard about?”

The girl stepped back and scratched the back of her head sheepishly. “Ah, yeah, probably. They kicked me out of the village when they learned what I was.” She held out her hand for a handshake. “I’m Hanako. What’s your name?”

Behind her back, Suzune signaled the archers to get ready to fire, while the rest of her men began circling around to surround Hanako. “Lieutenant Suzune.” She shot an inquisitive look over Hanako at the cart.

“Oh, right. These are all the guys that got left behind earlier. We sold their armor, though; hope you don’t mind.”

“We”, huh? So that bit about getting kicked out was Hanako’s attempt to protect the village. Suzune pretended not to notice and motion to a couple of her men, who retrieved the cart and began pulling it back towards camp.

As soon as it was clear, Suzune signaled the archers to fire. However, as soon as they released, Hanako inhaled and let out a roar so powerful it deflected all but a few of the arrows, which she avoided with ease.

Suzune’s eyes widened, and her lips curled into a feral smile. In the split second before Hanako roared, Suzune swore the redhead’s expression turned to stone, and the pressure she exuded now was nothing like it was before. Afterward, her skin returned to normal, but that pressure hadn’t left.

Still, Hanako wore a half-cocked smile as she said, “You really shouldn’t do this. Against this many opponents, I don’t think I can hold back. People might get killed.”

Suzune snorted. “That’s part of what it means to be a soldier.” She gave a shout, and everyone moved in.

In response, Hanako’s smile dropped. “Alright, then.” She raised one foot. Her skin flashed crimson and her hair turned white as she stomped the ground and unleashed a massive shockwave; every tree within a hundred meters toppled over. Most of Suzune’s forces had been pinned or knocked unconscious, and a few were likely crushed. Suzune herself had to jump back to avoid getting caught, but the part of her that thrived on battle could only rejoice.

Still, she kept enough composure to check that the cart with the returned soldiers was fine, and confirmed that only a handful of archers remained. Near Hanako, a group of spearmen picked themselves back up, and a pair of swordsmen drew their weapons and tried to circle around her.

The archers fired at Hanko, but she dodged them and closed in on the nearest swordsman. She drove her fist into his solar plexus and dropped him, and then kicked one of the fallen trees into the chest of the other one.

Suzune began to laugh, and unable to contain herself any longer, she jumped in. She swung the kanabo down as she landed, but Hanako rolled backward, clearing the log behind her. 

A few more arrows streaked in, but Hanako drew her sword to divert them only to resheathe it. Suzune’s rage pulsed over the battlefield; this girl dared fight her without her weapon drawn?

The spearmen, meanwhile, did their best to circle around and pin Hanako down. One got close enough to thrust his spear at Hanako; she grabbed it and used it as leverage to launch a hook kick at Suzune’s head.

Suzune blocked, but she was shocked at the force of the kick; it might have even cracked one of the bones in her forearm. She made a point to pay attention when Hanako pulled the spearman in and delivered a palm strike to his chin. Whereas every other oni Suzune had encountered just let their rage run rampant in battle, this swordswoman channeled it somehow. She unleashed it only at the moment of impact. Through her own haze of battle-lust, Suzune wondered if she’d be able to do the same thing.

Mostly, though, Suzune was simply ecstatic to have such a worthy foe. She swung her club backhanded and to try to knock Hanako’s head from her shoulders, but the swordswoman ducked underneath it and jabbed her in the ribs. One or two probably cracked, but the pain just made Suzune laugh even harder.

The last couple spearmen finally navigated through the fallen trees well enough to lunge at Hanako. However, she stepped to the right, blocked the spear coming form that direction, and grabbed that spearman and hurled him into the other.

Suzune took a half-step back, picked up one of the trees, and threw it at Hanako. Hanako ducked around again, and was about to attack when something above the treeline caught her attention.

Suzune turned to see what was going on. A column of smoke drifted up on the horizon, right about where the village should be. She turned back to face Hanako, but she only had a split second to watch as Hanako’s expression morphed from horror to pure, unbridled rage. Then something heavy impacted Suzune’s chest, and she went flying. By the time her back struck a tree, almost 100 meters away, Hanako had already leapt into the air toward the village. The force of the jump was so strong it cracked the earth and formed a crater.

As the battle-lust faded and her consciousness began to drift in and out, Suzune wondered, “Just what have we unleashed?” Then she sank into darkness.

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Current Draft of Hanako’s story (including unposted content)

21 October 2022

After my short hiatus, where I struggled with motivations, I started trying to plan out my big battles with the shogun’s army for this mini-arc. It occurred to me, though, that their status as “monster hunters” is kind of an informed attribute at this point. They don’t feel like a real threat; Hanako curb-stomps them way too easily. That… is still the case, actually, but I at least wanted to come up with strategies and things the army would use to handle creatures with superhuman abilities so they don’t feel so completely incompetent. And this was my way of doing that.

I’d initially wanted it to be more of a “life in the day of a trainee”, but it turned into more of an info dump. I did learn a lot about different kinds of yokai (youkai?) researching for this, though.

Here I am! A soldier in the shogun’s great army, to protect my family against the terrifying yokai horde!

Okay, so maybe it’s all a bit scary, but I’m proud to be here. Shou has already had to knock me out of my reverie a few times; there are so many amazing officers and heroes here!

Ah, time to pay attention. They’re going to teach us how to fight all the different kinds of yokai.

First up, oni. Apparently they’re not all massive; some can be as short as 1.5 meters tall, though the big ones can get up to 3. They have one or two horns on their forehead, but their most distinctive feature is their supernatural strength. They wield massive iron clubs called kanabo.

Known weaknesses include their love of alcohol, and how quick they are to anger. If you know their are oni in an area, you could poison or drug a barrel or two of wine and march it near them. Soporifics tend to be the most effective, as they are resistant to most lethal poisons.

Their anger makes them easy to manipulate, even if they also get stronger the angrier they are. Particularly dim oni have been known to run all around the battlefield, never landing a strike, simply because the army baited them different directions with their attacks.

Their high defense, though, makes it hard to do meaningful damage even in advantageous circumstances. It’s recommended to use strong piercing weapons, like warpicks, rather than swords. Also, do not try to fight one alone; always take a minimum of two to three to fight an oni. More clever or experienced oni may require twenty to thirty.

Next are the ushi-oni. They have an ox head on what could be a six-legged spider’s body. They are ferocious monsters that spit poison. Not many of them exist in the yokai army, but they are incredibly dangerous; it’s best to attack from range to avoid their poison.

Jorogumo, while not usually part of the yokai army, are still a major threat that need to be eradicated. Normally giant spiders, they can turn into beautiful women to lure in prey. When a jorogumo lair is identified, light the interior on fire and stop or blockade the entrance.

Tengu are often the commanders of the yokai army. They are exceedingly proud. As avians, they often fly above the battlefield; it’s recommended archers focus fire on them first when they fly within range.

14 October 2022

So here we are; the most up-to-date version of Suzune’s introduction. It has plenty of issues - there’s no reference to Suzune’s blue skin, for one - but I still feel pretty satisfied with it for the current draft.

I think the biggest difference was that I’d taken the time to identify a few other members in the meeting, and their general attitudes. This worked great; I have plans now for both Nakamura and Ito in the future that came about as I planned out the final battle in this arc. I feel like both of them will enrich the story, compared to what it would have been.

Suzune, adoptive daughter to the shogun himself, stood behind and to the right of the general’s chair as his aide-de-camp. After Captain Takamoto had returned with only half his squad and no supplies, the general had ordered and emergency staff meeting.

“And this lone oni girl is the one that forced you and your men to retreat?” the general confirmed.

“Yes, General. But she fought like no other we’ve encountered. She was no enraged beast, but a blade in the wind. Please do not underestimate her, despite our failure.”

From the side, Lieutenant Nakamura, one of the youngest of the senior officers, snorted. “Another intelligent oni? Isn’t one enough?”

Several of the officers glanced up at the horns on Suzune’s head, but she ignored them. “Even the more bestial youkai have a certain measure of cunning, Lieutenant Nakamura. And losing to one of them would cost you more than just your dignity.”

Nakamura’s face turned scarlet, but he held his tongue. The general turned his focus back to Takamoto. “Is there anything else you can tell us about this oni? What powers did she exhibit?”

Takamoto paused. “She seemed to prefer to disarm and nullify opponents rather than kill them. In addition to her swordplay, she also has great strength and durability.” He drew his sword - what was left of it - and presented it to the general. “She caught and crushed my blade with one hand. In addition, I believe she has some kind of hidden power that allows her to transform.”

As he spoke, Suzune had to focus to keep the smile off her face. This swordswoman promised to be a worthy foe. But if Suzune let her battle lust show, that would only vindicate the men who looked down on her as “the shogun’s pet oni”. Worse, it would dishonor her father.

The general stroked his beard. “Was the village aiding or sheltering this oni swordswoman?”

“Both the village elder and the girl herself denied it. However, I cannot think of any other reason for an oni to defend this village so vehemently.”

The general nodded to himself. “Is there anything else you wish to report?”

The captain hesitated, then said, “I found the oni’s last words intriguing. She pointed out the fear the villagers had of us, more than they even feared her, and accused us of being the true monsters.”

Suzune blinked in surprise. Before she could process her thoughts, though, Captain Ito, the oldest of the officers, glowered at her and declared, “Monsters? Indeed! Like the monster we have let into our ranks!”

“With all due respect,” Captain Takamoto cut in, “they had no way of knowing about Lieutenant Suzune. She referred to the soldiers of our army; ‘rapists and thieves’, she called them.”

An uproar broke out as everyone shouted at once, but everyone stilled as soon as the general stood up. “It is clear to me that these villagers have something to hide,” he declared. “They fear us because they fear what we might discover. To aid an oni, one of our enemies, is an act of treason against the shogunate, and we will answer in kind!”

A roar of approval filled the tent, and whatever flutter of doubt Suzune may have had flittered away.

The general turned to her and asked, “How do you propose we deal with this threat, Lieutenant Suzune?”

Suzune stepped toward the battle map, but before she could speak, Nakamura saluted the general and asked, “General, why trust this… oni girl with tactical decisions? Surely there are more qualified individuals present!” Several of the others, including Ito, nodded along.

The general nodded to her, and Suzune turned to Nakamura. “Perhaps if you proved more adept than I at strategic thinking, Lieutenant Nakamura, he would ask you. Unless you are requesting a rematch of our shogi game? Perhaps your skills have improved since last time.”

Once more, Nakamura could say nothing. Suzune looked at each of the officers, but none would meet her gaze. 

She turned back to the map. “If what Captain Takamoto said about the oni swordswoman is true, then she is the most dangerous threat. I propose we send a small force to lure her back into the woods here.” She pointed to a copse of trees located about a mile down the road from the village. “Then our main force can attack the village from this direction. In the event the oni proves even more dangerous than expected, or if the village has other defenses lying in wait, we should still be positioned to bring our full army to bear on the issue.”

She then laid specific plans for how to confront the oni, potential traps that could be lying in wait for them, and general terrain conditions. The war council agreed to her plan, and she was assigned to the force confronting the oni.

And since that meant she could fight this oni swordswoman, well, who was she to complain?

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12 October 2022

And here is the second of three versions of this scene, where I introduce Suzune. In the last one, I made her too old; she’s supposed to be Hanako’s age, but I made her the general over a major part of the army. This time, it feels like I went to far the other direction; she’s lacking in confidence, and as a result she’s too focused on what everyone around her thinks of her. That didn’t quite fit my image of who I wanted the character to be. It’s also vague and nebulous, with too much “telling” (especially about the way others treat her) and not enough “showing”.

That’s actually why I’m really glad I wrote this; seeing the ways I was dissatisfied helped me get a firmer grasp on Suzune’s character, and I think was key in helping me grow as a writer, too.

Suzune stood among the other officers along the tent wall. It was dark outside; when Captain Takamoto’s squad had arrived with half their members, without the supplies, the general had ordered an emergency staff meeting.

“And this lone oni girl forced your entire squadron to retreat, Captain?”

“Yes, General. But she fought like no other oni we’ve ever encountered. She was no enraged beast, but a blade in the wind. Please do not underestimate her.”

When she heard that, Suzune’s blood began to boil, and she barely kept herself from grinning. Here, at last, was a worthy foe. Perhaps, if she performed well here, the other officers would look past her horns and cobalt blue skin, and she’d stop hearing whispers of “the shogun’s pet oni”.

The general watched Captain Takamoto for several moments. “And was the town aiding this oni swordswoman?”

“Both the village elder and the girl denied it, but I can think of no other reason she would defend it so earnestly.”

The general nodded to himself and rose. He looked around at each of the officers present and declared, “Sheltering a youkai is treason against the shogunate. All enemies of the shogun will perish! At dawn, move out; we shall bring the full might of this battalion to bear against these traitors.”

Recognizing an opportunity, Suzune stepped forward and knelt down. She placed her fist over her heart in salute. “Permission to speak, sir!”

Several of the other officers began to snicker amongst themselves, but the general waved a hand to silence them. “You may speak, Lieutenant Suzune.”

Suzune rose. “Sir, based on Captain Takamoto’s report, I propose we split our forces. This oni swordswoman seems to be the most serious threat; one force could draw her out and neutralize her, while the other attacks the town.”

The general stroked his beard. “Do you believe this swordswoman to be that significant a threat?”

Though Suzune would never admit it, she sincerely hoped so. “I do not know, but I trust in Captain Takamoto’s integrity and the skill of his squad. And I believe it is often better to exercise caution in front of an unfamiliar and dangerous opponent.”

The general nodded. “Please continue.”

Suzune bowed, hiding the smile that crept over her face. Then she spent the next thirty minutes using the battle map to explain the finer details of her plan.

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11 October 2022

We finally meet the other half of the “blue oni, red oni” duo. That said, Suzune at this point hadn’t quite finished baking if you will. I knew she existed, but not details. In particular, here, I forgot how old she was supposed to be, and focused on how much epic potential she had. That… would have caused a lot of problems. I also play with how redeemable the captain was going to be; unfortunately, perhaps as a side effect of making Suzune more sympathetic, he winds up a lot less sympathetic in the final version.

As a result, I actually rewrote this scene two other times, on the 12th and 14th. Just trying things out, figuring out what fit, and using this scene to try to learn who Suzune really was. I’m fairly satisfied with the result, though.

General Suzune, head of the Dragon’s Battalion and the adoptive daughter of the shogun, looked down at Captain Takamoto, who bowed before her. “And a single oni forced your entire squadron to retreat?”

“Yes, General. But she fights like no other oni we’ve encountered; rather than an enraged beast, she was a master swordswoman. Please do not underestimate her, despite our weakness.”

“I see.” She resisted the urge to smile; perhaps here, finally, she’d find a worthy foe. She stood, and all eyes turned toward her. Her cobalt blue skin naturally drew attention, and her six foot frame only increased the impact of her presence, along with the black horns on either side of her forehead.

“And the town was allied with this oni swordswoman?” she confirmed.

“Both the village elder and the girl herself denied it, but I can think of no other reason for her to exert so much effort in its defense,” the captain replied.

Suzune nodded and looked to the other officers in the room. Many dropped their eyes, but a few worthy of respect met her gaze. She declared, “To ally with the enemy is to declare one’s self to be an enemy of the shogun. Is that agreed?”

Not a one of the officers dared do anything but nod. Suzune continued, “And therefore, as an enemy, it is our duty to make an example of them.” She pointed to the map. “The greatest threat is this oni swordswoman. So to draw her out, we will send our main force directly here, through the forest.” She gestured to Takamoto. “Meanwhile, you and your squadron, along with fifty other men of my choosing, will come in from here and attack the village. I hope you take this chance to redeem yourselves.”

The officers saluted, thumping their chest with their fists, and slowly filed out. Once they had, though, Captain Takamoto remained.

Suzune raised an eyebrow. “Was there something else, Captain?”

He hesitated, then said, “I suppose I just wondered what makes us different from the youkai.”

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Current Draft of Hanako’s story (including unposted content)

7 October 2022

I really wanted to see how Hanako looked from outside, so I found someone for her to save to witness what that might be like. That was a lot of fun to write. I later renamed “Burtin” to “Satoru”, to better fit the general vibe of the setting.

The fight scene after that was disappointing, and I struggled to get into it. The next day I actually took graph paper and mapped it out, which did wonders for my choreography.

Burtin’s hands shook as he held the sword up, pointing at the soldier in front of him. His sister clung to his back, shaking as much as he was. The soldier sneered. “You sure you want to do that?”

Burtin didn’t take his eyes off the soldier, but he told his sister, “Get inside.” Rather than listen to him, though, she just tightened her grip on his shirt.

The soldier snorted and drew his sword, but as he raised it to attack, a girl with bright red hair flew in and drove her knee into his jaw. Once she landed, Burtin was able to get a better look at her. She wore a simple white and black kamishimo with red accents. Her left hand rested on a katana, still sheathed, at her side. What startled Burtin the most, however, was the lone horn protruding proudly from her forehead.

She turned and faced Burtin. She ignored the shaking sword now pointed at her and offered a bright smile. “Most folks I meet aren’t brave enough to stand up to these guys.” She nudged the unconscious soldier with her foot. “You should be proud.”

The tip of Burtin’s sword dipped a little. “Who are you?”

The oni shrugged. “No one important.” She looked around and asked, “Say, do you know where the rest of them are at? Especially the commander, if they have one.”

Burtin lowered his sword entirely and pointed down the street. “I’m not sure, but they’re gatherin’ everythin’ over at the main square.”

After she glanced down the wa he’d pointed, she turned and gave him a sloppy salute. “Thanks!” She looked around him and waved at his sister, and then she took off, moving so fast Burtin wondered if he’d imagined it.

Dazed, Burtin turned to his sister. “Let’s get inside.” They left the soldier where he lay in the street.

As Hanako got closer to the square, she climbed up to the rooftops to avoid most of the soldiers. She arrived at the square and peered down, staying low, and counted maybe a dozen men, including the captain just below her.

“So, on squadron to raid the town, and the rest of the battalion off somewhere else,” she muttered to herself. They had two to three wagons to load their spoils onto; Hanako wondered if they’d brought those with them, or if they’d been “requisitioned” along with everything else.

There was no point in waiting any further, so Hanako jumped down onto the captain’s back. His head cracked against the ground, so she hurried to make sure she hadn’t killed him.

“Oh, good, still breathing.” Hanako looked up to see the stunned faces of the other soldiers. That only lasted a second before they pulled out their swords and rushed her.

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6 October 2022

Here is the first of a three-part rewrite of the events depicted in this post. I would say that it is here that Hanako’s story really felt like it was starting to grow into its own.

I was thinking about it recently; why have I fixated so much on this particular story compared to others? One of my main theories is that I just find Hanako that engaging as a character. Hopefully I get that across. But there’s something about the cheerful front she puts up and her desire for connection that resonates with me.

The other theory is feedback; I was really proud of my introductory scene for her, posted here, and I showed that to a few people, who proactively wanted to read more. That lit a fire and increased my willingness to invest, I think. I’m not saying all feedback needs to be positive; that would actually be really bad. Constructive criticism is important to identify weaknesses so I can improve. But little touches of affirmation go a long way, at least for me.

The town wasn’t especially welcoming to outsiders, but Hanako didn’t care; after the horrors she’d seen in Wakayama, Gifu, and others, she was just happy to have arrived ahead of the army for once.

She headed to the inn and paid for a room. She stayed out in the common area for dinner, though, in the hopes to get a feel for the atmosphere of the town. What she saw confirmed her suspicions; the innkeeper’s smile was tense, and the woman kept shooting furtive looks toward the door. The serving girl, who looked to be the innkeeper’s daughter, couldn’t keep her hands from shaking.

“Hey,” Hanako called out to the girl. “I’m Hanako. What’s your name?”

The girl hesitated for a bit. “Chiaki.”

“Mm. Nice to meet you, Chiaki!” Hanako beamed at her, which seemed to calm Chiaki down a bit. “Say, everyone in town seems really on-edge. Is something going on?”

Chiaki blinked. “Haven’t you heard?”

Hanako shrugged sheepishly. “I’ve only been in town for about half an hour. And before that, it’s been two or three days since I saw anyone else on the road.”

“The shogun’s army has camped near here. A whole battalion, they say.”

Hanako’s breath caught. “A whole battalion?” She’d thought - or hoped, rather - it would just be a squadron or two; she wasn’t sure she could take an entire battalion by herself.

“No sense in worrying. We’ll just give them what they want, and they’ll leave us alone.” The white knuckles on the innkeeper’s hand as she polished the tables betrayed her worry, despite her words.

Hanako knew a lot of people in the villages she’d just passed through that would disagree with her statement, but there wasn’t anything to be gained from worrying them with the things she’d seen. She continued her meal, but before she got up out of her seat, three Imperial soldiers entered the room. Hanako’s expression brightened when she recognized them as the trio who’d attacked the  old merchant.

The leader scanned the room, but focused on Chiaki so quickly Hanako wasn’t sure he’d even seen her. He gestured the soldiers towards Chiaki and said, “Take the girl, and anything else that looks valuable.” 

The faces of both the innkeeper and her daughter turned white, and the innkeeper wailed, “No! Please! Don’t take my daughter!”

The leader backhanded her across the face and roared, “Do you intend to interfere with an officer of the shogun’s army!?”

His two men moved to grab Chiaki, but they froze as soon as they saw Hanako. She gave them a feral grin and stood up. “Hey, robber-san, robber-san! It’s been a while. How’ve you been?”

The leader creaked his head toward Hanako. “You! How…” Hanako almost burst out laughing when his face first turned pale white, and then a deep, deep purple.

She continued, “I see you got new armor! How’s it holding up?”

At that, the leader snapped and lunged at her, drawing his sword. Hanako just stepped in and diverted his sword hand, and punched him in the solar plexus. Right as the punch landed, she brought up the memories of Wakayama, Gifu, and all the other ruined towns she’d witnessed, and let a sliver of the anger she felt creep into the punch, launching him a few inches into the air.

The leader wheezed for breath as he collapsed to the floor and lost consciousness. The other two backed up and turned to run. However, Hanako wasn’t willing to let them warn the rest of the army just yet, so she jumped past them, chopping one in the temple and knocking the other in the back of the head. Both dropped.

Once she wrestled her rage back under complete control, she turned to look back and realized her jump had broken the floorboards. She smiled apologetically to the innkeeper. “Sorry about that. Let me know how much it costs to fix that, and I’ll do what I can to repay you.”

Both the innkeeper and Chiaki stared at her in shock. “You’re… an oni.”

Oh, right. She’d used her powers. Hanako slowly reached up and touched her horn. “Erm, yeah. I’m not with the youkai army or anything, though; I hear they’re just as bad as these guys.”

For a long moment, no one said anything. Hanako turned toward the door. “These guys shouldn’t be dead; do whatever you want with them. A friend told me their armor sells for good money.”

She started to leave, but Chiaki called out, “Th-thank you! For saving me.”

When Hanako turned back, the smile on her face was the warmest it had been in a long time. “You’re welcome.”

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