26 September 2023

After a moment or two, I stepped up next to the guard. For a while, neither of us spoke; we jest watched Elsenaia as she made plans with the rest of her guard. Then I said, “You know, I wasn’t in her head for very long. I could only get a general feel for things.”

Tairsi turned to me. I continued, “Even then, there was one memory that seemed to be the root of her entire worldview now. One small statement. ‘I guess princesses aren’t allowed to have friends.’”

Tairsi’s face paled. “But… but that was…”

“I know.” There was a bit more steel in my voice than I’d intended. “You were just kids. The situation wasn’t your fault. You were probably just repeating what the adults told you.” I leaned back to look at the treetops above us. “Still. When she needed a friend, someone who saw her for herself instead of her title… you turned away. After that… well, ‘Elsenaia’ has been locked away, in the depths of her mind, ever since. All to make room so she could become 'the Princess'”

By the set of her jaw, I could tell that Tairsi grit her teeth, but I had a hard time reading her beyond that. “Why are you telling me this?”

I paused. That was a good question. Was I trying to help them reconcile? It’d probably been too long for that. Even if it’s possible, there are better ways to go about it. Vindictiveness, maybe? That’s probably it. I wanted Tairsi to understand at least part of the pain she’s heaped on Elsenaia, to feel some of it for herself. “You’re right. I’m sorry; that wasn’t my place to say. I’m just… frustrated, I guess?”

“Yeah.” Tairsi looked down at her hands. “Do you have any ideas what we could do?”

I shrugged. “Not really. Ideally, I’d get her out of that damned castle and away from her family and duties and all that, but… I don’t think that’s possible.”

Tairsi frowned. A moment later, she stepped into the discussion.

23 September 2023

… no magic circle…”

As I got ready to respond, I noticed one of the other guards chanting under her breath, her eyes locked on Robin. I whipped my pistol out and point it at her right when Elsenaia stepped between everyone, arms outstretched. “Stop! Just, stop.”

Her eyes focused on the chanting guard, whose cheeks burned bright red before she averted her eyes from Elsenaia. I cautiously lowered my gun, but I didn’t return it to my holster.

Another of the guards, a man with forest-green hair, moved next to the blushing guard. “With all due respect, Your Highness, the humans attacked us. Shouldn’t we–”

“As I recall, Goodman Rivlett, it was Captain Darrett attacked first. And provoked or not, for a decorated captain of the guard to lose his composure so easily…” Elsenaia’s smile turned vindictive. “Well, that is quite the embarrassment, isn’t it, Captain Darrett?”

Darrett’s expression was as dark as a power outage on a moonless night, but he said nothing. Adam sidled up next to me, hands on his weapon. “Uh, by any chance, would you mind telling us what the heck is going on?”

“Well, basically, the guards are all freaking out because Robin took out their captain so easily. Especially since she wasn’t using any magic. So Elsenaia–that’s the princess, there–is telling them to knock it off, especially since her captain attacked us first. I think she wants to make peace with us.”

Elsenaia started a bit when I said “without magic”, but she recovered quickly. She turned to us and bowed her head. “That’s correct. I apologize for my rudeness earlier; we… didn’t really know what to expect.”

Adam and Robin remained wary, but I shrugged and waved it off. “It’s fine. I think.”

Adam gestured to Darrett. “I’m not so certain. If you don’t mind me asking, why did he try to attack my brother anyway?”

“Ah, that was probably my fault.” I flashed Adam a cheeky grin. “He was being an asshole, and I called him out on it.”

Robin chuckled while Adam sighed and shook his head. To all of our surprise, Elsenaia let out a loud burst of laughter, before she promptly clapped her hands over her mouth and her cheeks turned scarlet. All eyes, both elven and human, focused on her.

She focused for a moment or two, and then coughed and straightened her outfit. “Right. Well. Back to business.”

Most of the guards snapped themselves out of it, and they began discussing options. Tairsi, however, just watched Elsenaia in shock.

8 August 2023

I was much more satisfied with this attempt, though it does still have its own issues. I tried several versions of both Darrett’s offhand remark belittling Elsie, as well as Nick’s insult in response. Not 100% happy with either yet, but it’s greatly improved from some of my earlier ones. It feels kind of like threading a needle; for example, in Darrett’s case, I want something that is clearly dismissive and insulting to justify Nick’s response, while still being mild enough he doesn’t seem blatantly insubordinate to the princess.

…attacking me. Not that the scowl on my face helped matters any.

Tairsi’s eyes flared, and she grabbed me by the lapel. “What did you do?”

“Heck if I know. You lot are the ones who are supposed to be ‘in tune’ with magic right? You probably know more about what happened than me.”

To my surprise, instead of English, I spoke to her in perfect Elvish. Everyone, even… (see August 7) …learn Spanish.”

Tairsi let go, and I straightened my shirt. In English, I asked Elsenaia, “So, what now? Was that enough for you to trust us?” Then I recalled the fleeting impression I had during the dive. “Did you find what you needed?” Carefully, I rested one hand… (see August 7) …ready for anything.

“I… No, I did not.” Then in English, “But… At the very least, I know you hold no malice towards us.”

Darrett scoffed. “So you debased yourself for nothing, then? Typical.”

Something snapped inside me. With a smile that did not reach my eyes, I quipped, “That’s rich, coming from the king’s pet hound. All you can do is bark insults at your betters.”

The glade grew silent for a moment, then Darrett unsheathed his blade and lunged at me with a roar. I’d only gotten my pistol halfway out when a sharp crack rang out, and Darrett collapsed in front of me, clutching his leg. He reached for his sword, but Robin moved forward, gun in her hands. “If you so much as touch that blade, the next one goes through your skull.”

Whether Darrett understood her words or not, the intent was clear enough, and Darrett pulled his hand back. All the elves looked shocked, and Elsenaia’s face seemed pale. Tairsi muttered, “What manner of spellcraft is that? I heard no incantation, saw no magic circle…”

I shrugged, pulling my gun out and holding it to the side. “No magic. Just physics.”

7 August 2023

I focused a lot on Elsenaia and making it a viable story at the beginning of last month. It’s still one of my focuses, actually; I quite enjoy Nick and Elsie’s opening scene, and I want to build on that. It took a few attempts to nail down how everyone responds after the mind-dive didn’t work as planned, though. This is my first attempt; I feel like Nick starts off too aggressive than feels natural, especially given the fact he and Elsie aren’t that close yet.

I’ll be making the elvish lines a different color; I used a different font on my google doc, but that’s not as simple to do on here.

When we come to, Elsenaia squeaked and took a few steps back, staring at me with clear trepidation. The guards tightened the grip on their weapons, just a thread away from snapping and attacking me.

Not that the scowl on my face helped matters at all. I glared at Darrett, then turned on Tairsi and drawled, “So princesses aren’t allowed to have friends, was it? No wonder she can’t trust anyone.”

Except… that’s not what I said. Or… it is, but not in English. Somehow, I spoke to them in perfect Elvish.

Everyone, even Elsenaia, stared at me in shock. Adam gave a low whistle. “Damn. If a little mind dive is all you need, sign me up. I always wanted to learn Spanish.”

Meanwhile, Darrett’s eyes flared. “What did you do to our princess?”

“Heck if I know. You lot are the ones who understand magic, right? You know more than me.” As I spoke, I carefully rested one hand on the pistol at my side. With how jumpy everyone was, I figured it’d be best to be ready for anything.

9 June 2023

Short little fluff piece; the kind of day-to-day shots that were half the reason I started writing Elsenaia to begin with. I can’t profess a great wealth of experience in matters of romance, but the ones that stuck with me the most in things I’ve read and watched weren’t the ones about passion or grand gestures of love. Those could show up at times, sure, but it was the quiet moments, the small shows of support, the ability to simply be with each other that make for the most poignant romances to me. I might have to write an article on that at some point.

Of course, a healthy relationship makes for poor drama, which means to have a story, either the relationship needs flaws, or there needs to be a major outside force that is the actual focus of the story. That’s probably why almost none of my favorite romances are found in the romance genre.

On this particular Saturday morning, it was Nick’s turn to fix lunch. It was a gorgeous day outside, and he found himself humming cheerily as he cooked bacon and cut tomatoes for some BLTs.

Once he had everything ready, he headed downstairs to get Elsenaia. It was amazing how much more vibrant the house felt with just one more person. He found her with her hair tied back, pointy ears showing, and dressed in a ratty shirt and old jeans, both covered in fresh paint of all colors. It was probably to most casual he’d ever seen her, and somehow, it made her seem even more radiant.

She stood before a large canvas, palette in one hand and brush in the other. Other paintings cluttered the area; several bore a stark resemblance to Jackson Pollock’s art style, but there were a few landscapes and other things mixed in.

15 May 2023

Finally went back to Elsenaia. I’ve been working on it recently (as in, beginning of August), as well, and I’d like to turn it into a proper story. So here’s my attempt to redo some of the early bit. There’s going to be a lot less time spent inside the mind dive, I think.

Elsenaia hadn’t participated in many mind dives, and certainly never a human’s, so she hadn’t really known what to expect. Still, every other mind she’d visited had been neat and orderly, whether it was a carefully planned garden of thoughts or something more like her own stately palace.

They definitely weren’t like this. This was… What else could she call it but chaos? Some kind of instrument–a piano, he called it?--was covered in bits and bobs of memories and hopes and dreams, with few if any of them actually about music. There was a cupboard under the stairs that tried to dump her into a whole other world where people rode around on broomsticks, and a greenhouse inside the house that not only stretched on for infinity, but seemed to constantly shift its layout every time she looked at it.

She eventually wound up in some sort of dining area that itself was full of junk. On a counter sat a small group of figurines; Elsenaia picked one up, and nearly fainted at the notion of half-elves, before she realized it was all made up. …Wasn’t this Nicholas a bit old to be playing pretend? Strange.

Nothing, though, could have prepared Elsenaia for th things she saw when she sat down at the table. It was… Nick’s family. His siblings. His father and mother. Even now, they still flirted as they prepared dinner. There was laughter at the table. When his parents asked how Nick and his siblings were or what they were working on, they meant it, and they listened, no matter how small the concerns seemed.

And Nick’s brothers and sister! There were no sly looks, no competing for affection or prestige. When they teased one another, there was an undercurrent of fondness, not spite.

Elsenaia tried in vain to prevent tears from forming in her eyes. Why couldn’t she have had this? Why was this man, with no particular renown, so loved, while Elsenaia had been left alone?

She tried to banish the thought; she knew it was unfair. But before she could, she felt Nick grab hold, and indignation warmed the room around her to uncomfortable levels. To Elsenaia’s shock, Nick wasn’t mad at her, despite her rude thoughts, but at her family. And… at Tairsi?

Suddenly Elsenaia had a flashback, clear as the moon of the day Tairsi had left. The day they stopped being friends, and were merely a princess and her subordinate.

After all, princesses aren’t allowed to have friends.

Then Elsenaia saw him, eyes burning. Nick was there. Nick was watching her memories. Somehow, Nick was inside her head.

Panicked, Elsenaia cut the spell off, and they snapped back to their bodies. Tairsi and Darrett stepped forward protectively, but Nick wasn’t intimidated. And to the shock of everyone present, when he opened his mouth, he spoke in perfect Elvish.

3 January 2023

A lot of this was basically a result of figuring out who the rest of Nick’s family were, and wanting to show that off and how that impacted his head. In retrospect, the way I approached it and handled Elsenaia’s side of that feels somewhat insensitive to people who aren’t blessed with that kind of family… I’ll need to think of a better way to handle this in the future.

I’m also dissatisfied with the ending bit about loneliness. Sure, everyone has lonely moments. And if Nick’s were poignant enough to resonate with Elsie, that’s great. I don’t know that I believe that. It feels too much like someone who has a lot complaining about the little bit they’re missing. If it helps, Nick is the oldest, and as his siblings move on with their life he’s feeling a bit left behind, but A) that’s still a relatively small thing, I think, and B) I didn’t communicate that well enough regardless. Progress to be made.

As I passed yet another diorama of Elsenaia’s family, complete with her faceless self, I wondered just what her family life must be like. How sad must it be for “family” to mean loneliness and cold contempt?

Apparently, my musings affected what Elsenaia could see, because within my head I heard her gasp. Soon, instead of D&D sessions with my friends or bits of elf-centric anime, I began remembering times with my family. That time when Adam introduced us to Robin before they got married, and we played Apples to Apples. Or the time my sister Danielle actually won when we played Risk one day, and how ecstatic that made her. Some of the times Jake and I argued over the specific meanings of one word or another, or when Mom got after Jake and Danielle for sparring in the kitchen.

Not all the memories were happy–we had our fair share of troubles and arguments, too–but each one had a warmth I could tell Elsenaia craved. “Do humans really live like this?”

The question seemed odd, to me. “Every family’s different. Some are like yours; cold and distant from each other, too concerned about pride to care about love. A lot are way worse; there are whole portions  of our local governments dedicated to dealing with abuse and shattered homes. But yeah, this is real.” I mused for a moment, then added, “I wouldn’t be surprised if many of your own people had families like this. What was Tairsi’s family like?”

Eenaia had no response. The palace around me shifted, somehow, as Esenaia tried to withdraw, close herself off. Even so, I could still feel how raw and pained she felt. Lonely. Even with my upbringing, I could relate to that, in a way.

The image in my head shifted as I remembered Danielle’s wedding. Henry’s a great guy, and he and Danielle make a great couple, don’t get me wrong. But… still. I wanted to meet someone for myself, too.

When she noticed that, Elsenaia’s shell opened up a little. I was reminded of a scene in RWBY, where Weiss is talking with Blake. It’s the line, “You’re right; I don’t know loneliness like you do. I have my own version.”

29 December 2022

I was dead tired, and had no idea what I should write. So I decided to brainstorm, because I wanted a clearer image of who the guy in Elsenaia’s story is. A lot of it was based on me, but not everything, and I want him to be clearly distinct from me. Hence the brainstorming below.

I also decided that along with Majesty, this story will be one of the two I focus on this month, like Hanako and the Orphan of Hamelin last month. We’ll see if this system works or not…

What do I know about the POV character in Elsenaia’s story? (I consider Elsenaia the protagonist, hence the distinction.) Unlike me, he’s outdoorsy, since he was out hiking in the woods with his friends when they ran across the elvish scouting party. He also actually has friends… Who are they? Probably one couple, maybe two, and a few other guys.

We are similar in that both he and I are authors, and for the sake of my own sanity we will even be working on the same stories. Karthos/Death has already shown up… I could have appearances from Maleficent, Hanako, and some of my other recurring characters, as well.

What’s his name, this guy? Kevin? Nick? Nicholas? I’m thinking something that results in “Nick”.

What are his goals? Getting published, sure. Is he already an established author? What would that mean if he was? If he is, what led him out in these woods? Is he looking for specific inspiration? Doing research for a different story he’s working on I don’t have yet, maybe about witches? Just a vacation after a hard-earned success? Both the latter options sound fun. 

I could also have him be with siblings or other family scouting out some backwoodsy area to prepare to build a house. Homesteading, that kind of thing. It does still happen. Maybe Missouri, Arkansas, or Illinois? Does kind of detract from some of my future plans for him and Elsie, though.

22 October 2022

This one is a bit heavier than most of the Elsenaia story. I’m not really sure what to say about it, other than what the POV character says below. I hope it’s not something we ever have to deal with again. I don’t know if the things I suggest happen would actually happen, but it’s not hard to imagine. And this story takes place inside the heads of these two; it’s what they imagine, and sometimes our imaginations are a lot scarier than real life.

due to my efforts to wrap up the current Hanako arc before Nanowrimo started, this is actually the last post in Elsenaia as of 11 November 2022. I’m not done yet, though.

…vanished back into my head.

I entered the library to examine the bookshelves, but I heard a cold but dignified male voice from behind me.

“You must find out what they are capable of. I doubt they have anything that can compete with our magics, but humans are cunning, and should never be underestimated.”

I looked back and found a projection of Elsenaia’s father speaking to a faceless version of her. His arms were clasped behind his back, and he faced away from her.

“Yes, Father. And once I return?”

The king turned around. “We make sure they will never be able to threaten us again. If necessary, we will eliminate them.”

My mind froze with horror, and I was whisked away to an imaginary battlefield, where elven sorcerers unleashed powerful magics on a faceless horde. It was devastating; if they’d been real people, thousands would have died within seconds. However…

Inside my head, Elsenaia grew bewildered as the setting changed. From afar, based on the video clips I’d seen of them, clips of various mushroom clouds started to play. Then the image zoomed in to blasted homes, vaporized shadows against what remained of the walls showing where people stood. Empty. Desolate. Even the ground was poisoned.

“What is this?” Elsenaia whispered. I appeared behind her and consciously shifted the image to a Japanese hospital room, where a sick girl folded origami cranes, hoping to recover after her blood had been poisoned by a flash of light roughly a decade earlier.

“It’s called a nuke, or nuclear weapon,” I whispered. “The devastation was so horrific the one time it was used, the world as a whole has an unspoken agreement not to use them. The damage it would cause the rest of the world, even opposite where it strikes, is almost unbelievable. However, you’re not from our world, are you?”

As the implication sunk in, I pictured what might happen if the elves tried to protect the portal. Would we just fly jets above them? Or perhaps troops of elves would fall to machine guns. An image of D-day popped into my head, as men stormed a beach only to get gunned down by a storm of bullets.

“Would,,, would your people really do that?” Elsenaia asked in horror. I could see her imagination as it conjured the image of her home as it vaporized.

“We did it once already,” I whispered. I remembered the war magics Elsenaia had pictured. “No matter who, people fear what they don’t understand. And fear makes people very stupid sometimes.” I grimace. “And the risks that usually prevent the use of nuclear weapons don’t apply to your country. Especially if your magics cause unexpected destruction to people in our world, the outrage of the people may demand it. Unless your magic can shatter the very planet itself, it won’t win the war outright, and the more destructive, the more it’ll kick up the hornet’s nest.”
<-Elsenaia First

<-Elsenaia Previous

Elsenaia Next->

15 October 2022

While I was thinking about Elsenaia and what she might be looking for specifically, I realized rather than random searching, she’d probably prioritize the POV character’s opinion of elves, and what information he had about them. So I’ve edited one portion, then continued on.

Editing a portion of 10 October 2022:

…undercut the dignity she tried to project, but my recent memories of our encounter with her and her people surfaced soon enough. She picked apart my impressions of each of them; in particular, she seemed pleased, but bashful, when she saw I initially thought of her as “beautiful”, though that quickly turned to indignation once I’d written her off as a spoiled brat.

From there, she began to look at my opinion of elves in general, and she pulled up everything from “The Lord of the Rings” movies to D&D. That left me free to turn my attention back to the dioramas, and I found…

Continuing the main storyline:

…”So what do you know of that could cause this?”

She just shook her head. I sighed and said, “Well, feel free to keep poking around my head until you’re satisfied.”

Still unsatisfied, she turned back to her search. She seemed quite preoccupied, so I was able to slip out of the mirror room back into the hall. It seems the mirrors had come down to seal off that one painting and whatever memories it brought up.

The idea that I wasn’t supposed to be here kept nagging at me, so I started looking for memories about magic. Who knows? Maybe I could learn some magic of my own from watching her. I doubted it, but that would be cool.

I popped into a few of her practice sessions, but nothing specific, especially not about mind-reading or memory manipulation. I did notice, however, that none of the memories showed Elsenaia when she was a kid. At first, I assumed that was because magic training started at an older age, but then I caught a glimpse of a child Elsenaia smiling happily at her tutor, and I began to wonder.

Before I could investigate more closely, however, those same mirror walls came down around the memory and pulled it back into the depths of her mind.

I peeked back in my head, but Elsenaia didn’t have any particular reaction; I couldn’t be sure if she’d just accepted my presence, or if repressing those memories came so naturally to her she no longer even noticed.

As I continued my search, I found a pair of old wooden doors that led into a grand library. I stood in the doorway for several seconds, just gawking. “Well, color me impressed.”

A chill wind blew down the hallway, and Elsenaia appeared behind me. “What are you doing?”

I shrugged. “Looking for information on magic. I wanted to see if there was anything in your head about why I’m here, and not over there.”

For a long time, Elsenaia just stared at me. “Fine.”

<-Elsenaia First

<-Elsenaia Previous

Elsenaia Next->

10 October 2022

After what I learned about Elsenaia and her past in the previous posts, it didn't make sense for some memories and ideas to be as accessible as they were, at least to me. I started trying to figure out what her life meant for the way her mental palace appeared and functioned, and rewrote the first introduction to the mental world here.

It's kind of fun, trying to put physical descriptions to such abstract ideas.

When I opened my eyes, to my surprise I was in a long, palatial hallway, perhaps thirty feet wide and fifteen feet tall, with innumerable mirrors spaced out along its walls. Here and there between them hung both gorgeous wall-to-ceiling paintings and life sized dioramas made with marionettes.

Meanwhile, I could sense Elsenaia trying to sift through my brain. She felt lost, and her frustration emanated out of the mirrors around me. Before I poked around the hallway, I asked, “Need help finding anything?”

“That will not be necessary.” The embarrassment I felt from the mirrors undercut the dignity she tried to project, but since I started remembering things, from old friends to travel locations, I figured she was getting the hang of it.

I turned my attention back to the dioramas, and found one that seemed to represent her argument with the guard earlier. While both were jointed like artists’s mannequins, it was curious that only the guard had a proper face, while Elsenaia’s did not. Instead, she wore an elaborate silver diadem I hadn’t seen in real life. On top of that, she was held in place by puppet strings leading to the ceiling, although the guard had none.

Out of curiosity, I touched the figure of the guard, and voices echoed around me. Somehow, I was able to understand everything perfectly, despite the fact the conversation was in Elvish. Direct brain-to-brain communication?

“You cannot mean to bond with this human?” the angry guard, labeled “Darrett”, demanded.

Waves of indignation pulsed out from the princess mannequin, indignation that hadn’t been visible in real life. I heard Elsenaia’s voice, where she sighed and replied, “Of course not. This is an interrogation not–”

“Huh,” I said to myself, and walked away. Some of the dioramas featured Tairsi or Darrett; others placed her on a throne before some ordinary citizens; and others what I assumed to be her family. In addition to her father and mother, she had one older brother and a pair of older twin sisters.

A painting on the wall gave a better depiction of them, at least at first. When I found it, it seemed for all the world like a normal royal family portrait. And yet, as I moved and the angle changed, the painting shifted. The king’s eyes grew darker, and his crown taller. The queen’s mouth disappeared, and she had a collar around her neck with a chain leading to the king’s hands. Elsenaia herself was once again faceless, while her brother now had an almost bestial snarl warping his face. One hand was held behind his back with the tip of a knife barely visible. Only her sisters looked relatively unchanged.

Intrigued, I walked down to the next portrait, which was much more straightforward. Tairsi, as a knight, kneeled before the faceless princess in all her glory on a throne. At Tairsi’s back, though, hidden in shadows, a young elven girl I guessed to be a younger Elsenaia reached out for her.

I stepped closer. Below the painting, a nameplate read “Loyal Knight”. I traced my finger along it, and a voice of a young girl came out of the painting. “I guess princesses aren’t allowed to have friends.”

As soon as the voice finished, though, mirrored walls slammed down around me like prison walls. I felt Elsenaia’s fear spike, and her voice boomed through the room I was now in. “Wha… You’re not… How are you in my head!?”

I shrugged. “I dunno. You’re the one who did the magicy bits. I didn’t even think magic was real an hour ago.”

I could sense Elsenaia’s disbelief change into shock as my memories verified what I said. I asked, “So, what do you know of that could cause this?”

She just shook her head. She seemed to be at a total loss, so I decided to poke around to find out if there was anything about the spell that might help.

<-Elsenaia First

<-Elsenaia Previous

Elsenaia Next->

30 September 2022

This is probably where I started taking Elsenaia's story more seriously. All that backstory made me recognize her as a character more, or something? Anyway, still plenty comedic, but there's a lot more serious moments.

I also wanted to hurry up and get past the “reading each other's minds" bit, so I probably rushed to the end scene there. Also, I am not a therapist, and there are probably a thousand reasons why this is the wrong way to approach handling someone's trauma were you to wind up literally inside their head. But it was fun to write. And I'm looking forward to writing what I mean by “stop being a princess"!

After I heard Elsenaia’s scream, I appeared back in my own head to find her fleeing a large man in sleek black armor. He didn’t wear a helmet, but his face had a ghostly cast to it, and from the right angle it looked like nothing more than a skull.

“What is this thing!?” Elsenaia cried as she headed for me.

“Death. Or, a personification of it, anyway. For a story I’m writing.”

Elsenaia skidded past me, then turned around in shock. “Death!?”

I ignored her for a second and stepped up to Death. He raised his scythe, but I just flicked him in the forehead. “Oi. Knock it off. We have a guest.”

When he looked like he was going to be stubborn, I folded my arms and glared at him. “Do you want me to call Life over, instead?”

He flinched and sulked away. Elsenaia’s jaw gaped open as she watched him go.

I turned to her and asked, “You alright?”

“I… you… How…?”

I wasn’t 100% sure what she was asking, but I said, “Well, they’re in my head, aren’t they? So I can exert a bit of control over them, especially as characters I created.”

“Death isn’t even a person! It’s just a thing that happens! How can it be walking around in your head!?”

Is that what the issue is? “I said it already, didn’t I? That’s a personification of death.”

She still looked confused, so I said, “Okay, it’s like… Take some sort of abstract concept. Maybe an emotion of some kind. Can you think of a person, or an object, or anything, that represents that concept?”

Elsenaia nodded slowly. “Like a really happy person to represent happiness?”

“Exactly. Personification is like that. You take something that isn’t human–” I pause, then reconsider my words. “Rather, something that isn’t a person, and give it person-like traits. You can even take the concept and imagine what it would be like as a person.” I look at her askance. “Do elves really not have a concept like that?”

Elsenaia started to shake her head, then paused. “I… I actually don’t know.”

Eh? “You don’t know?”

“I… didn’t have much chance to choose my own reading material.”

Okay, that is straight up weird. I went back to Elsenaia’s head and started prodding a little more forcefully. I heard her ask, “Wait, what are you–”, but I kept pushing forward.

I found myself in front of a thick stone wall, sealing… something off. I could hear the faint sounds of someone crying on the other side.

I hit the wall once, just to see if it would react, and then looked around for something I could use to force my way in. “Oh, wait. This is all in our heads, right?” I concentrate for a second, and manage to materialize the Giant Crusher Hammer from Elden Ring.

“Oof, that’s heavy.” Fortunately, I was able to lift it still. I swung once, and the impact shook the whole building.

Elsenaia materialized and grabbed one of my arms. “Wait! Please!”

I turned to look at her. “That’s you, crying on the other side, isn’t it?”

She didn’t answer, but her eyes still pleaded with me to stop. I put one hand on her head and said softly, “If I stop now, who is ever going to let you free?”

Her eyes went wide, but after a second or two, she let go of my arm and took a few steps back. I nod to her once, and then hoist the hammer again. I called out to the other side, “Watch out, I’m coming in!”

The crying paused, and I swung the hammer two, three times. A small hole formed in the wall, and I could see a small elven girl on the other side. “Wait just a bit; we’ll have you out soon.”

I kept at it with the hammer, and soon the rest of the wall had collapsed. The little girl rushed out and hugged me. “Shh, it’s okay, it’s alright. You’re free now.”

A flood of Elsenaia’s memories washed over me, as everything she’d been keeping repressed or locked away burst out at once. I saw the day Tairsi’s family had been sent away, and how she’d told Elsenaia, “I guess princesses aren’t supposed to have friends.”

I saw the cold looks her father often gave her, and the countless hours of studying. I saw the harsh training Darrett, the angry guard, put her through. I saw her joy as she discovered magic, and the jealous looks from her brother at how quickly she picked it up. Countless other memories surfaced, all panting the sheer loneliness Elsenaia lived with day to day.

I hugged the little Elsie close and whispered, “I’ll be your friend.”

The little girl pulled away and said, “But princesses aren’t allowed to have friends.”

“Then it’s simple.” I turned and grinned at the real Elsenaia behind me. “Just stop being a princess.”

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26 September 2022

This one is pretty self explanatory; rather that write prose, I took the hour to brainstorm what Elsenaia’s past might have been like. Most of the time I do this sort of thing in the 10-15minute prep time before I write, but this seemed big and complicated enough I went ahead and took the whole block, and used it for my writing for the day.

This is pretty much just backstory ramblings, so quality and coherency may not be super high.

Elsenaia was a lot happier as a child. She and Tairsi were thick as thieves, and Tairsi would drag the princess all over the place for little “adventures”. Nothing too serious; they never left the palace, and they never caused any real trouble. That would be rude to the servants.

However, it was considered unseemly for Elsenaia to express her emotions so strongly, and to be running around like that in general. So they were separated. The king found a prestigious promotion for Tairsi’s parents out near the borders of the kingdom, and it would be years before they saw each other again. By that point, both had changed.

What made it worse was the last day before they parted. Tairsi ad been heavily scolded by her parents, and so when she went to say goodbye, she told Elsenaia, “I guess we can’t be friends anymore.”

“What!? Why?” Little Elsenaia had tears in her eyes.

Tairsi wouldn’t meet her gaze. “Princesses aren’t supposed to have friends.”

For a long time, Elsenaia didn’t move. Then her tears overflowed, and she ran. Even she’s not sure if she’s ever truly smiled after that.

Tairsi, for her part, was literally parroting what her parents told her word for word. By the time she realized how much that must have hurt the princess several years later, it was too late. The damage had been done, and she had no way to apologize.

There is now an awkward dichotomy, where the only thing Tairsi could think of to do was serve Elsenaia whole-heartedly to make up for her mistake. However, on the contrary, every bow, every term of respect, every servile action only drove it home to Elsenaia that Tairsi is not her friend; she is her servant. And Elsenaia felt more and more isolated.

After Tairsi was sent away, Elsenaia was forced to spend all her time studying. The angry guard from before was actually one of her tutors; swordplay, specifically. She didn’t particularly enjoy or pursue it, but she’s passable with a blade, which is more than can be said of me.

Her truest passion was magic. I think it was a form of escapism; leave behind all her duties and responsibilities to focus on breaking the very rules of the universe.

As for as her family, her parents are both alive, and they see each other often enough, but there’s also a certain distance between them as well. Like the king (or whatever his title actually is) must keep that royal persona on at all times, even with family. I suspect her mother just follows along with whatever her husband says; someone with little to no will of their own to exert, even if they wanted to.

As for siblings… Elsenaia is certainly the eldest. She has at least one younger brother, I think? How much of this is patterned after the Schnee family? …Nah. Anyway, the next eldest is a brother, who is jealous of Elsenaia’s status, and the youngest are a pair of twin sisters. I’m still deciding if they’re malicious pranksters or something else at the moment.

Each has a day of the week they are assigned to “listen to the voice of the people”, though each of the twins’ days are cut to noon, and they always have one of their parents around to supervise due to their age. Elsenaia finds it very boring; she is, unfortunately, very good at it, and tends to draw bigger crowds than even the king. No telling how he feels about that; could provide an escape opportunity for Elsenaia if he turns out to be jealous.

Unless… I her brother’s actually older than her, and Elsenaia’s the one that “never measures up” in their parents’ eyes, always choking at the last minute, that could be an interesting dynamic, as well. I’ll have to think about that.

Yeah, I like that image; where she was the baby of the bunch, and the twins would always tease or prank her, perhaps because they were jealous of how happy she was roaming around with Tairsi. Then the incident with Tairsi leaving happened, and Elsenaia became way too serious, and the twins were filled with guilt.

When it comes to stories… The sheer shock she had in the last scene doesn’t make sense, I don’t think. Elves have stories, whether real, fictional, or legendary; it’s just a question of which ones Elsenaia was exposed to. And given the general attitude her parents/father had about Tairsi, I think it’s safe to say that her media intake was heavily censored. If it didn’t teach her something (and that something was both specific and approved by the king), it didn’t get anywhere near her.

Which does leave the question, wouldn’t some of the petitions on her public day be about requests to read or watch some of their artwork?

It also makes me curious what she does, exactly, the other six days of the week. I’m sure she’s kept busy, but doing what? Diplomatic meetings? I’m sure that’s part of it bu certainly not all of it. Flower garden tea parties? I’m sure she hates those. Leah Aragaki from Out of Touch might be decent inspiration for her personality; it would explain why she can’t trust anyone without reading their mind.

Does she paint? That might be the one “personal” thing she’s been allowed. Of course, it would still be heavily regimented; what kind of princess gets paint in her hair, for example? This would change on earth, though.

Yeah, I kinda hate her father the more this goes on. That kind of makes it fun, though. Does Elsie get banished, and that’s what lets her cut loose? Or is he an ever-present threat, always looming in the back of her and the MC’s minds, wondering when the other shoe is going to drop?

How big is her country? Initially I thought it would have to be quite small, but if it takes place on a whole different world, it could be quite the empire. Which would explain all of the diplomatic meetings. What kind of communication technology/magics do they have there? Whatever it is, what I’ve seen makes me think the king would make heavy use of propaganda. 

Ooh, what if his kingdom is small and failing, and that’s given him a chip on his shoulder? All his people know it, but he has that royal pride, and so has refused to let his children see it. The others have likely figured it out to one degree or another, but not Elsenaia. It’s a fun idea, but it doesn’t quite fit.

Also, what sparked their invasion? Did the portal reawaken suddenly, and they sent a party through to head off any potential threat? I like that idea. The question, then, is what is Elsenaia doing on this trip? There are two main possibilities, which are very much NOT mutually exclusive. Either she finagled herself onto the trip so she could actually see the world, or else her older brother arranged it in hopes of eliminating her.

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24 September 2022

This was fun. I loosely based the MC of the Elsenaia story off of my own head, since that’s what I have access to, and I have a lot of weird and/or terrifying characters running around in there. So what would happen if she ran into one?

I come back to this idea and revise it later; I think the idea that she was utterly cut off from fiction to be unlikely, so later I took time to map out more of what her life looked like and what she’d been through.

The rest of my journey through the palace hallway was an interesting experience. I could feel Elsenaia pouting at me; she was trying so hard to be angry and indignant, but it was all undercut by the embarrassment I could feel all around me. 

I was not surprised by her fondness for cute things, not that the weekly day where the public could petition her for things was tedious as all get-out. What surprised me was the way she entertained herself during those days; she’d try to imagine whatever conflicts were brought before had happened in ridiculous situations, like underwater, or by taking the point of the conflict to its extremes. This did, unfortunately, backfire on her, as thinking outside the box meant she came up with solutions that weren’t always immediately obvious, and people began flocking to her court over the others.

Meanwhile, she poked around in my head, trying to ignore all the memories I was sifting through. She spent a great deal of time looking at D&D things; the idea of playing out another character’s life, especially with other people, fascinating, even if she did spend a long time ranting about the elf stat blocks.

Another time, I was poking around to see if Elsenaia had anything she actively enjoyed doing, rather than felt obligated to do, when I heard her scream from my mind.

I popped over, only to find Elsenaia running desperately from a hulking skeletal figure wearing ominous black armor and wielding a scythe.

“Why do you have Death wandering around your head!?” Elsenaia screamed, and she headed straight for me.

I sighed, and with a small smile I walked past her to the reaper. He raised his scythe to swing, but I just reached up and flicked him in the forehead. “Oi. Knock it off. You’re scaring her.”

When the reaper started looking obstinate, I folded my arms and raised an eyebrow. “Would you rather I called Life over?”

The reaper flinched and sulked off. I turned and flashed Elsenaia a smile.

She just stared at the reaper, jaw gaping. When she finally looked over at me, she asked weakly, “Life?”

“His wife. Or maybe his wife-to-be? His crush? I dunno; depends on what part of the story he’s from. Time’s weird in here.”

“You have an aspect of Life in your head.”

I shrugged. “Well, sure. Why not? They’re not real; they’re just characters I made up for a story I’m writing.”

Eslenaia’s legs gave out from under her, and she plopped to the ground.

“Hey, wait, are you okay?” I crouched down and reached out to her.

“Yeah. Yeah, I just… need a minute.”

I shift so I’m sitting down properly, and we stay like that for several minutes. Finally, she spoke. “They’re… characters in a story, you said?”

“Yep. Or, well, a group of stories, I suppose. You know I want to write, right?”

Elsenaia nodded. “But I’m not sure I understand what that means.”

“Well, look.” I opened my mind to scenes of my wtiting, and to the “How Writers Become Authors” blog. “Basically, I want to tell stories for a living. Isn’t there anyone in your culture that does that?”

Elsenaia moved to shake her head, then stopped herself. “I’m… not sure. I never had time for things like that.”

I blinked, and materialized a movie drawer so I could start sifting through my memories.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“You need a chance to relax. Time’s meaningless here, right? I figured I could show you a movie or something before you go.” I growled at the drawer of DVDs. “If there’s even any I can remember the whole way through, that is.”

Elsenaia’s eyes were drawn to one; the Hobbit collection of movies. An image of Tauriel flashed across like a mini preview. “What’s that one?”

“Oh, that’s the Hobbit, based on the book by J.R.R. Tolkein.” I noticed her expression and asked, “I don’t remember it very well, but do you want to watch it?”

She nodded, and I began letting it play. When she first saw Fili and Kili, she complained, “Those aren’t dwarves.”

“Agreed. They’re definitely men.”

“They don’t even look like dwarves.”

“Hm. But at least Fili has a cool beard.” I glance over at her. “Have you met many dwarves?”

“Only a couple.”

Sensing a bit of awkwardness, I peeked into her memories to find one of a dwarf catching sight of her for the first time, only to immediately propose as dramatically as possible. The rest of his fellows came and dragged him off while the leader of the group apologized profusely, and explained that this was “the young lad’s first time abroad, so he hasn’t gotten used to the sights yet”. The whole thing had made Elsenaia feel very awkward.

I laughed, but rather than the indignant reaction I’d expected, Elsenaia just told me to hush.

When I glanced at the screen, it was the parts about Tauriel’s romance with Kili. Elsenaia was completely enraptured by it. At one point she asked, “Do you think I could ever have that?”

I shrug. “Why not? I mean, I don’t know how anyone else will react, but I think the choice should still be yours.”

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17 September 2022

This is where I started figuring out the beginnings of who Elsenaia really is as a character. It still took me quite a while after this to figure out, and I didn’t quite have a good image of her mental landscape, but it’s where it started. It’s also a lot more focused on the romcom side of the story than some of my more recent shorts set with her.

You’ll see later, but most of this has been rewritten at least once. It’s liable to happen again; it’s just a fun concept to play with.

When I opened my eyes, or whatever I used to see in this astral projection, I stood in a hallway with a red velvet rug running down its length. Scattered down the hall on both sides were doors of every possible shape, size, and material, interspersed with countless small tables. Some had random items, like dolls, books, or even a pair of old boots, whole others projected a 3d image from the surface. The one in front of me had an image of the guard she’d been arguing with before.

I reached out to touch it, and the image sprang to life. “...mean to bond with this… human trash!?” The words were clearly not English, but somehow my brain could interpret what was being said perfectly, as if I’d known Elvish all my life.

Around me, I could feel as the palace itself grew indignant, and the princess’ voice replied, “Of course not! This is merely an interrogation, and it will not be–”

The hallway warped at that moment, and Elsenaia’s voice entered my head directly. “Wha… How did you… You’re not supposed to be here!”

I looked around and stepped back from the image of the guard. “Oh? Why not?”

“Because I’m supposed to be searching your mind, not the other way around!”

I cock my head for a moment. “Aren’t you, though?” Indeed, when I focused on it, I could feel Elsenaia where she’d looked through some of my more recent memories.

“Yes, but–”

“Then what’s the harm?” I ignored the twinge of embarrassment and panic emanating from the palace around me, and picked up a teddy bear from one of the tables. I immediately learned it had been a gift from Tairsi, before… something. A flash of pain and loneliness, and it felt like the memory was cut off.

“Nooo!” Elsenaia popped into existence before me, snatching the bear from me before clutching it to her chest. Instead of her fancy dress and tiara, she wore a simple white one-piece dress, and her hair was loose.

Before I could stop myself, I muttered, “Yep. You definitely look way more adorable relaxed like that.”

Elsenaia’s jaw dropped, and her face flushed pink before turning full-on scarlet. She turned and ran down the hall, still hugging the bear, waves of embarrassment and bewilderment pouring off the palace walls.

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16 September 2022

This was both the beginning of my daily writing, and my introduction to Elsenaia. Definitely pretty rough in places, but it got the idea across well enough. I’m basically ignoring all reason for this opening bit, to be honest; I was writing this for fun, not to be serious. I did start taking it too seriously later, though.

“You’ve seen us, and so you all must perish.” The elven princess swept a cold gaze across us all, then turned to leave. The guards moved to carry out her orders.

Cries of alarm came from several of my companions, and I protested, “Oi, that seems a bit extreme, don’t you think?”

The princess whirled back to me, eyes blazing. “Extreme? After knowing what your people are capable of? I dare say it’s a mercy I don’t order worse.”

I glared back. “Well, I’m not sure exactly what you mean by my people, but regardless, it’s not like we’re all the same, you know? And it seems harsh to kill a bunch of people when our only crime is to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

Her eyes flared at that, but she held out a hand, stopping the guards, and stalked up to me. “Very well, then,” she hissed, a dark smile curling at her lips. “Prove it.”

With one eyebrow raised, I asked, “And how do I do that?” 

Her smile grew darker. “By letting me inside your head.”

“Eh? That’s it?” From the way she’s smugly folding her arms, it felt like she thought she’s asked for the impossible. “Does the spell hurt a lot or something?”

Her smile faded, and her forehead wrinkled. “Well, no.”

“Is this gonna make me your slave or something?”

“No, of course not!”

I glance at my other companions, who all shrug. “Then sure, why not? I mean, there’s some things I’m more than a little embarrassed about, but it doesn’t seem like that big a deal.” 

The princess’s eyes just about bugged out of their sockets, and several of the guards’ jaws dropped. I chuckles, then thought for a moment. “Though, if you do find something you get mad about, don’t get mad at these guys for it, alright?” I extended my hand. “The name’s Nathan, by the way.”

The princess nervously accepted the handshake. “My name is Princess Elsenaia Haligwen Serassan, but you may call me Princess Elsenaia.”

“So, how does this work?” I sat, legs crossed, in the middle of a large magic circle.

Elsenaia’s head guard, a woman named Tairsi, replied, “The two of you will clasp hands, and after chanting the spell, the princess will enter your mind and see what manner of fírima you truly are.”

I nodded thoughtfully. “Anything else I should know?”

Tairsi paused. “When we said there was no pain, that is only partially true. The spell itself causes no pain; however, as the princess peers through them, your darkest secrets will be exposed to her, and your deepest traumas may be brought to the front of your mind, which can be…difficult, depending on the life you’ve had.” She sighed and smiled apologetically. “I do believe the princess, for all her thorny exterior, will do her best to spare you from anything too terrible, but it’s not an exact art.”

I grimaced and nodded. “The warning is appreciated.”

A short ways away, the princess argued with another guard, a dour-faced man with long hair graying at the temple. He gestured to me several times, but the princess simply sighed and shook her head. She said a few things in Elvish, which caused the guard to growl and look away.

The princess glanced over where my companions were being held. “Besides,” she said in English, “I made an oath, did I not?”

Without checking the man’s reaction, she strode over and sat down across from me. I eyed Tarisi and the other guards before I glanced back to the princess. “Everything alright?”

“It is fine.” She held out her hands to me. Once I’d grabbed them, she began to chant, and the runes incorporated into the circle began to glow a bright lavender light. I closed my eyes and tried to open my mind. Power surged around me, sweeping my consciousness away.

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