26 September 2023

After a moment or two, I stepped up next to the guard. For a while, neither of us spoke; we jest watched Elsenaia as she made plans with the rest of her guard. Then I said, “You know, I wasn’t in her head for very long. I could only get a general feel for things.”

Tairsi turned to me. I continued, “Even then, there was one memory that seemed to be the root of her entire worldview now. One small statement. ‘I guess princesses aren’t allowed to have friends.’”

Tairsi’s face paled. “But… but that was…”

“I know.” There was a bit more steel in my voice than I’d intended. “You were just kids. The situation wasn’t your fault. You were probably just repeating what the adults told you.” I leaned back to look at the treetops above us. “Still. When she needed a friend, someone who saw her for herself instead of her title… you turned away. After that… well, ‘Elsenaia’ has been locked away, in the depths of her mind, ever since. All to make room so she could become 'the Princess'”

By the set of her jaw, I could tell that Tairsi grit her teeth, but I had a hard time reading her beyond that. “Why are you telling me this?”

I paused. That was a good question. Was I trying to help them reconcile? It’d probably been too long for that. Even if it’s possible, there are better ways to go about it. Vindictiveness, maybe? That’s probably it. I wanted Tairsi to understand at least part of the pain she’s heaped on Elsenaia, to feel some of it for herself. “You’re right. I’m sorry; that wasn’t my place to say. I’m just… frustrated, I guess?”

“Yeah.” Tairsi looked down at her hands. “Do you have any ideas what we could do?”

I shrugged. “Not really. Ideally, I’d get her out of that damned castle and away from her family and duties and all that, but… I don’t think that’s possible.”

Tairsi frowned. A moment later, she stepped into the discussion.

23 September 2023

… no magic circle…”

As I got ready to respond, I noticed one of the other guards chanting under her breath, her eyes locked on Robin. I whipped my pistol out and point it at her right when Elsenaia stepped between everyone, arms outstretched. “Stop! Just, stop.”

Her eyes focused on the chanting guard, whose cheeks burned bright red before she averted her eyes from Elsenaia. I cautiously lowered my gun, but I didn’t return it to my holster.

Another of the guards, a man with forest-green hair, moved next to the blushing guard. “With all due respect, Your Highness, the humans attacked us. Shouldn’t we–”

“As I recall, Goodman Rivlett, it was Captain Darrett attacked first. And provoked or not, for a decorated captain of the guard to lose his composure so easily…” Elsenaia’s smile turned vindictive. “Well, that is quite the embarrassment, isn’t it, Captain Darrett?”

Darrett’s expression was as dark as a power outage on a moonless night, but he said nothing. Adam sidled up next to me, hands on his weapon. “Uh, by any chance, would you mind telling us what the heck is going on?”

“Well, basically, the guards are all freaking out because Robin took out their captain so easily. Especially since she wasn’t using any magic. So Elsenaia–that’s the princess, there–is telling them to knock it off, especially since her captain attacked us first. I think she wants to make peace with us.”

Elsenaia started a bit when I said “without magic”, but she recovered quickly. She turned to us and bowed her head. “That’s correct. I apologize for my rudeness earlier; we… didn’t really know what to expect.”

Adam and Robin remained wary, but I shrugged and waved it off. “It’s fine. I think.”

Adam gestured to Darrett. “I’m not so certain. If you don’t mind me asking, why did he try to attack my brother anyway?”

“Ah, that was probably my fault.” I flashed Adam a cheeky grin. “He was being an asshole, and I called him out on it.”

Robin chuckled while Adam sighed and shook his head. To all of our surprise, Elsenaia let out a loud burst of laughter, before she promptly clapped her hands over her mouth and her cheeks turned scarlet. All eyes, both elven and human, focused on her.

She focused for a moment or two, and then coughed and straightened her outfit. “Right. Well. Back to business.”

Most of the guards snapped themselves out of it, and they began discussing options. Tairsi, however, just watched Elsenaia in shock.

8 August 2023

I was much more satisfied with this attempt, though it does still have its own issues. I tried several versions of both Darrett’s offhand remark belittling Elsie, as well as Nick’s insult in response. Not 100% happy with either yet, but it’s greatly improved from some of my earlier ones. It feels kind of like threading a needle; for example, in Darrett’s case, I want something that is clearly dismissive and insulting to justify Nick’s response, while still being mild enough he doesn’t seem blatantly insubordinate to the princess.

…attacking me. Not that the scowl on my face helped matters any.

Tairsi’s eyes flared, and she grabbed me by the lapel. “What did you do?”

“Heck if I know. You lot are the ones who are supposed to be ‘in tune’ with magic right? You probably know more about what happened than me.”

To my surprise, instead of English, I spoke to her in perfect Elvish. Everyone, even… (see August 7) …learn Spanish.”

Tairsi let go, and I straightened my shirt. In English, I asked Elsenaia, “So, what now? Was that enough for you to trust us?” Then I recalled the fleeting impression I had during the dive. “Did you find what you needed?” Carefully, I rested one hand… (see August 7) …ready for anything.

“I… No, I did not.” Then in English, “But… At the very least, I know you hold no malice towards us.”

Darrett scoffed. “So you debased yourself for nothing, then? Typical.”

Something snapped inside me. With a smile that did not reach my eyes, I quipped, “That’s rich, coming from the king’s pet hound. All you can do is bark insults at your betters.”

The glade grew silent for a moment, then Darrett unsheathed his blade and lunged at me with a roar. I’d only gotten my pistol halfway out when a sharp crack rang out, and Darrett collapsed in front of me, clutching his leg. He reached for his sword, but Robin moved forward, gun in her hands. “If you so much as touch that blade, the next one goes through your skull.”

Whether Darrett understood her words or not, the intent was clear enough, and Darrett pulled his hand back. All the elves looked shocked, and Elsenaia’s face seemed pale. Tairsi muttered, “What manner of spellcraft is that? I heard no incantation, saw no magic circle…”

I shrugged, pulling my gun out and holding it to the side. “No magic. Just physics.”

7 August 2023

I focused a lot on Elsenaia and making it a viable story at the beginning of last month. It’s still one of my focuses, actually; I quite enjoy Nick and Elsie’s opening scene, and I want to build on that. It took a few attempts to nail down how everyone responds after the mind-dive didn’t work as planned, though. This is my first attempt; I feel like Nick starts off too aggressive than feels natural, especially given the fact he and Elsie aren’t that close yet.

I’ll be making the elvish lines a different color; I used a different font on my google doc, but that’s not as simple to do on here.

When we come to, Elsenaia squeaked and took a few steps back, staring at me with clear trepidation. The guards tightened the grip on their weapons, just a thread away from snapping and attacking me.

Not that the scowl on my face helped matters at all. I glared at Darrett, then turned on Tairsi and drawled, “So princesses aren’t allowed to have friends, was it? No wonder she can’t trust anyone.”

Except… that’s not what I said. Or… it is, but not in English. Somehow, I spoke to them in perfect Elvish.

Everyone, even Elsenaia, stared at me in shock. Adam gave a low whistle. “Damn. If a little mind dive is all you need, sign me up. I always wanted to learn Spanish.”

Meanwhile, Darrett’s eyes flared. “What did you do to our princess?”

“Heck if I know. You lot are the ones who understand magic, right? You know more than me.” As I spoke, I carefully rested one hand on the pistol at my side. With how jumpy everyone was, I figured it’d be best to be ready for anything.

15 May 2023

Finally went back to Elsenaia. I’ve been working on it recently (as in, beginning of August), as well, and I’d like to turn it into a proper story. So here’s my attempt to redo some of the early bit. There’s going to be a lot less time spent inside the mind dive, I think.

Elsenaia hadn’t participated in many mind dives, and certainly never a human’s, so she hadn’t really known what to expect. Still, every other mind she’d visited had been neat and orderly, whether it was a carefully planned garden of thoughts or something more like her own stately palace.

They definitely weren’t like this. This was… What else could she call it but chaos? Some kind of instrument–a piano, he called it?--was covered in bits and bobs of memories and hopes and dreams, with few if any of them actually about music. There was a cupboard under the stairs that tried to dump her into a whole other world where people rode around on broomsticks, and a greenhouse inside the house that not only stretched on for infinity, but seemed to constantly shift its layout every time she looked at it.

She eventually wound up in some sort of dining area that itself was full of junk. On a counter sat a small group of figurines; Elsenaia picked one up, and nearly fainted at the notion of half-elves, before she realized it was all made up. …Wasn’t this Nicholas a bit old to be playing pretend? Strange.

Nothing, though, could have prepared Elsenaia for th things she saw when she sat down at the table. It was… Nick’s family. His siblings. His father and mother. Even now, they still flirted as they prepared dinner. There was laughter at the table. When his parents asked how Nick and his siblings were or what they were working on, they meant it, and they listened, no matter how small the concerns seemed.

And Nick’s brothers and sister! There were no sly looks, no competing for affection or prestige. When they teased one another, there was an undercurrent of fondness, not spite.

Elsenaia tried in vain to prevent tears from forming in her eyes. Why couldn’t she have had this? Why was this man, with no particular renown, so loved, while Elsenaia had been left alone?

She tried to banish the thought; she knew it was unfair. But before she could, she felt Nick grab hold, and indignation warmed the room around her to uncomfortable levels. To Elsenaia’s shock, Nick wasn’t mad at her, despite her rude thoughts, but at her family. And… at Tairsi?

Suddenly Elsenaia had a flashback, clear as the moon of the day Tairsi had left. The day they stopped being friends, and were merely a princess and her subordinate.

After all, princesses aren’t allowed to have friends.

Then Elsenaia saw him, eyes burning. Nick was there. Nick was watching her memories. Somehow, Nick was inside her head.

Panicked, Elsenaia cut the spell off, and they snapped back to their bodies. Tairsi and Darrett stepped forward protectively, but Nick wasn’t intimidated. And to the shock of everyone present, when he opened his mouth, he spoke in perfect Elvish.

10 October 2022

After what I learned about Elsenaia and her past in the previous posts, it didn't make sense for some memories and ideas to be as accessible as they were, at least to me. I started trying to figure out what her life meant for the way her mental palace appeared and functioned, and rewrote the first introduction to the mental world here.

It's kind of fun, trying to put physical descriptions to such abstract ideas.

When I opened my eyes, to my surprise I was in a long, palatial hallway, perhaps thirty feet wide and fifteen feet tall, with innumerable mirrors spaced out along its walls. Here and there between them hung both gorgeous wall-to-ceiling paintings and life sized dioramas made with marionettes.

Meanwhile, I could sense Elsenaia trying to sift through my brain. She felt lost, and her frustration emanated out of the mirrors around me. Before I poked around the hallway, I asked, “Need help finding anything?”

“That will not be necessary.” The embarrassment I felt from the mirrors undercut the dignity she tried to project, but since I started remembering things, from old friends to travel locations, I figured she was getting the hang of it.

I turned my attention back to the dioramas, and found one that seemed to represent her argument with the guard earlier. While both were jointed like artists’s mannequins, it was curious that only the guard had a proper face, while Elsenaia’s did not. Instead, she wore an elaborate silver diadem I hadn’t seen in real life. On top of that, she was held in place by puppet strings leading to the ceiling, although the guard had none.

Out of curiosity, I touched the figure of the guard, and voices echoed around me. Somehow, I was able to understand everything perfectly, despite the fact the conversation was in Elvish. Direct brain-to-brain communication?

“You cannot mean to bond with this human?” the angry guard, labeled “Darrett”, demanded.

Waves of indignation pulsed out from the princess mannequin, indignation that hadn’t been visible in real life. I heard Elsenaia’s voice, where she sighed and replied, “Of course not. This is an interrogation not–”

“Huh,” I said to myself, and walked away. Some of the dioramas featured Tairsi or Darrett; others placed her on a throne before some ordinary citizens; and others what I assumed to be her family. In addition to her father and mother, she had one older brother and a pair of older twin sisters.

A painting on the wall gave a better depiction of them, at least at first. When I found it, it seemed for all the world like a normal royal family portrait. And yet, as I moved and the angle changed, the painting shifted. The king’s eyes grew darker, and his crown taller. The queen’s mouth disappeared, and she had a collar around her neck with a chain leading to the king’s hands. Elsenaia herself was once again faceless, while her brother now had an almost bestial snarl warping his face. One hand was held behind his back with the tip of a knife barely visible. Only her sisters looked relatively unchanged.

Intrigued, I walked down to the next portrait, which was much more straightforward. Tairsi, as a knight, kneeled before the faceless princess in all her glory on a throne. At Tairsi’s back, though, hidden in shadows, a young elven girl I guessed to be a younger Elsenaia reached out for her.

I stepped closer. Below the painting, a nameplate read “Loyal Knight”. I traced my finger along it, and a voice of a young girl came out of the painting. “I guess princesses aren’t allowed to have friends.”

As soon as the voice finished, though, mirrored walls slammed down around me like prison walls. I felt Elsenaia’s fear spike, and her voice boomed through the room I was now in. “Wha… You’re not… How are you in my head!?”

I shrugged. “I dunno. You’re the one who did the magicy bits. I didn’t even think magic was real an hour ago.”

I could sense Elsenaia’s disbelief change into shock as my memories verified what I said. I asked, “So, what do you know of that could cause this?”

She just shook her head. She seemed to be at a total loss, so I decided to poke around to find out if there was anything about the spell that might help.

<-Elsenaia First

<-Elsenaia Previous

Elsenaia Next->

26 September 2022

This one is pretty self explanatory; rather that write prose, I took the hour to brainstorm what Elsenaia’s past might have been like. Most of the time I do this sort of thing in the 10-15minute prep time before I write, but this seemed big and complicated enough I went ahead and took the whole block, and used it for my writing for the day.

This is pretty much just backstory ramblings, so quality and coherency may not be super high.

Elsenaia was a lot happier as a child. She and Tairsi were thick as thieves, and Tairsi would drag the princess all over the place for little “adventures”. Nothing too serious; they never left the palace, and they never caused any real trouble. That would be rude to the servants.

However, it was considered unseemly for Elsenaia to express her emotions so strongly, and to be running around like that in general. So they were separated. The king found a prestigious promotion for Tairsi’s parents out near the borders of the kingdom, and it would be years before they saw each other again. By that point, both had changed.

What made it worse was the last day before they parted. Tairsi ad been heavily scolded by her parents, and so when she went to say goodbye, she told Elsenaia, “I guess we can’t be friends anymore.”

“What!? Why?” Little Elsenaia had tears in her eyes.

Tairsi wouldn’t meet her gaze. “Princesses aren’t supposed to have friends.”

For a long time, Elsenaia didn’t move. Then her tears overflowed, and she ran. Even she’s not sure if she’s ever truly smiled after that.

Tairsi, for her part, was literally parroting what her parents told her word for word. By the time she realized how much that must have hurt the princess several years later, it was too late. The damage had been done, and she had no way to apologize.

There is now an awkward dichotomy, where the only thing Tairsi could think of to do was serve Elsenaia whole-heartedly to make up for her mistake. However, on the contrary, every bow, every term of respect, every servile action only drove it home to Elsenaia that Tairsi is not her friend; she is her servant. And Elsenaia felt more and more isolated.

After Tairsi was sent away, Elsenaia was forced to spend all her time studying. The angry guard from before was actually one of her tutors; swordplay, specifically. She didn’t particularly enjoy or pursue it, but she’s passable with a blade, which is more than can be said of me.

Her truest passion was magic. I think it was a form of escapism; leave behind all her duties and responsibilities to focus on breaking the very rules of the universe.

As for as her family, her parents are both alive, and they see each other often enough, but there’s also a certain distance between them as well. Like the king (or whatever his title actually is) must keep that royal persona on at all times, even with family. I suspect her mother just follows along with whatever her husband says; someone with little to no will of their own to exert, even if they wanted to.

As for siblings… Elsenaia is certainly the eldest. She has at least one younger brother, I think? How much of this is patterned after the Schnee family? …Nah. Anyway, the next eldest is a brother, who is jealous of Elsenaia’s status, and the youngest are a pair of twin sisters. I’m still deciding if they’re malicious pranksters or something else at the moment.

Each has a day of the week they are assigned to “listen to the voice of the people”, though each of the twins’ days are cut to noon, and they always have one of their parents around to supervise due to their age. Elsenaia finds it very boring; she is, unfortunately, very good at it, and tends to draw bigger crowds than even the king. No telling how he feels about that; could provide an escape opportunity for Elsenaia if he turns out to be jealous.

Unless… I her brother’s actually older than her, and Elsenaia’s the one that “never measures up” in their parents’ eyes, always choking at the last minute, that could be an interesting dynamic, as well. I’ll have to think about that.

Yeah, I like that image; where she was the baby of the bunch, and the twins would always tease or prank her, perhaps because they were jealous of how happy she was roaming around with Tairsi. Then the incident with Tairsi leaving happened, and Elsenaia became way too serious, and the twins were filled with guilt.

When it comes to stories… The sheer shock she had in the last scene doesn’t make sense, I don’t think. Elves have stories, whether real, fictional, or legendary; it’s just a question of which ones Elsenaia was exposed to. And given the general attitude her parents/father had about Tairsi, I think it’s safe to say that her media intake was heavily censored. If it didn’t teach her something (and that something was both specific and approved by the king), it didn’t get anywhere near her.

Which does leave the question, wouldn’t some of the petitions on her public day be about requests to read or watch some of their artwork?

It also makes me curious what she does, exactly, the other six days of the week. I’m sure she’s kept busy, but doing what? Diplomatic meetings? I’m sure that’s part of it bu certainly not all of it. Flower garden tea parties? I’m sure she hates those. Leah Aragaki from Out of Touch might be decent inspiration for her personality; it would explain why she can’t trust anyone without reading their mind.

Does she paint? That might be the one “personal” thing she’s been allowed. Of course, it would still be heavily regimented; what kind of princess gets paint in her hair, for example? This would change on earth, though.

Yeah, I kinda hate her father the more this goes on. That kind of makes it fun, though. Does Elsie get banished, and that’s what lets her cut loose? Or is he an ever-present threat, always looming in the back of her and the MC’s minds, wondering when the other shoe is going to drop?

How big is her country? Initially I thought it would have to be quite small, but if it takes place on a whole different world, it could be quite the empire. Which would explain all of the diplomatic meetings. What kind of communication technology/magics do they have there? Whatever it is, what I’ve seen makes me think the king would make heavy use of propaganda. 

Ooh, what if his kingdom is small and failing, and that’s given him a chip on his shoulder? All his people know it, but he has that royal pride, and so has refused to let his children see it. The others have likely figured it out to one degree or another, but not Elsenaia. It’s a fun idea, but it doesn’t quite fit.

Also, what sparked their invasion? Did the portal reawaken suddenly, and they sent a party through to head off any potential threat? I like that idea. The question, then, is what is Elsenaia doing on this trip? There are two main possibilities, which are very much NOT mutually exclusive. Either she finagled herself onto the trip so she could actually see the world, or else her older brother arranged it in hopes of eliminating her.

<-Elsenaia First

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Elsenaia Next->

16 September 2022

This was both the beginning of my daily writing, and my introduction to Elsenaia. Definitely pretty rough in places, but it got the idea across well enough. I’m basically ignoring all reason for this opening bit, to be honest; I was writing this for fun, not to be serious. I did start taking it too seriously later, though.

“You’ve seen us, and so you all must perish.” The elven princess swept a cold gaze across us all, then turned to leave. The guards moved to carry out her orders.

Cries of alarm came from several of my companions, and I protested, “Oi, that seems a bit extreme, don’t you think?”

The princess whirled back to me, eyes blazing. “Extreme? After knowing what your people are capable of? I dare say it’s a mercy I don’t order worse.”

I glared back. “Well, I’m not sure exactly what you mean by my people, but regardless, it’s not like we’re all the same, you know? And it seems harsh to kill a bunch of people when our only crime is to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

Her eyes flared at that, but she held out a hand, stopping the guards, and stalked up to me. “Very well, then,” she hissed, a dark smile curling at her lips. “Prove it.”

With one eyebrow raised, I asked, “And how do I do that?” 

Her smile grew darker. “By letting me inside your head.”

“Eh? That’s it?” From the way she’s smugly folding her arms, it felt like she thought she’s asked for the impossible. “Does the spell hurt a lot or something?”

Her smile faded, and her forehead wrinkled. “Well, no.”

“Is this gonna make me your slave or something?”

“No, of course not!”

I glance at my other companions, who all shrug. “Then sure, why not? I mean, there’s some things I’m more than a little embarrassed about, but it doesn’t seem like that big a deal.” 

The princess’s eyes just about bugged out of their sockets, and several of the guards’ jaws dropped. I chuckles, then thought for a moment. “Though, if you do find something you get mad about, don’t get mad at these guys for it, alright?” I extended my hand. “The name’s Nathan, by the way.”

The princess nervously accepted the handshake. “My name is Princess Elsenaia Haligwen Serassan, but you may call me Princess Elsenaia.”

“So, how does this work?” I sat, legs crossed, in the middle of a large magic circle.

Elsenaia’s head guard, a woman named Tairsi, replied, “The two of you will clasp hands, and after chanting the spell, the princess will enter your mind and see what manner of fírima you truly are.”

I nodded thoughtfully. “Anything else I should know?”

Tairsi paused. “When we said there was no pain, that is only partially true. The spell itself causes no pain; however, as the princess peers through them, your darkest secrets will be exposed to her, and your deepest traumas may be brought to the front of your mind, which can be…difficult, depending on the life you’ve had.” She sighed and smiled apologetically. “I do believe the princess, for all her thorny exterior, will do her best to spare you from anything too terrible, but it’s not an exact art.”

I grimaced and nodded. “The warning is appreciated.”

A short ways away, the princess argued with another guard, a dour-faced man with long hair graying at the temple. He gestured to me several times, but the princess simply sighed and shook her head. She said a few things in Elvish, which caused the guard to growl and look away.

The princess glanced over where my companions were being held. “Besides,” she said in English, “I made an oath, did I not?”

Without checking the man’s reaction, she strode over and sat down across from me. I eyed Tarisi and the other guards before I glanced back to the princess. “Everything alright?”

“It is fine.” She held out her hands to me. Once I’d grabbed them, she began to chant, and the runes incorporated into the circle began to glow a bright lavender light. I closed my eyes and tried to open my mind. Power surged around me, sweeping my consciousness away.

Elsenaia Next->