DREAMS of a CLOUD
Peruse the many random ramblings of a writer-in-training as I build stories and develop my craft.
19 September 2023 part 2
That was when the charging ushi-oni arrived and crushed both with its spider legs, each as large as Hanako herself. Hanako narrowly avoided its charge, and swung at a bearded blue oni that appeared beside her. He blocked the attack with his tetsubo and uppercut her with his offhand, jarring her out of her rage.
All at once, all the pain she’d been ignoring crashed down on her at once. Burns stretched down both arms and her sides, and by the pain she felt each time she drew breath, Hanako was fairly certain she’d at least cracked her ribs.
Almost by instinct, Hanako drove the point of her sword into the ground, grounding out the ivory oni’s attack. Her rage burned through the pain, focused so intently on the ivory she barely noticed several of the other oni fleeing back into the forest.
The ivory’s eyes went wide, and he brought his hand up to strike her again. This time, Hanako redirected it into a charging red, barely noticing him collapse to the ground. She was so focused, in fact, she never noticed an female ebony oni swing her tetsubo into hanako’s side.
Hanako crashed to the ground and rolled, the pain in her ribs swallowed up by her rage. She tempered it a bit, enough to be aware of her surroundings, but her goal remained putting that ivory out of action.
For his part, the ivory was in a full-blown panic, and shouted something to one of the ushi-oni. The beast turned and began to charge their direction, even as the ivory raised his hand to blast Hanako again. Before he could, Hanako burst across the remaining distance and sliced off his arm, then pivoted and slashed his throat.
The female ebony caught up and swung her tetsubo at Hanako’s head, while a massive, one-eyed red tried to smash her to a pulp with his club. Hanako ducked around both attacks and cut the red’s feet out from under him. He roared and toppled into the ebony.
That was when the charging ushi-oni arrived and crushed both with its spider legs, each as large as Hanako herself. Hanako narrowly avoided its charge, and swung at a bearded blue oni that appeared beside her. He blocked the attack with his tetsubo and uppercut her with his offhand, jarring her out of her rage.
All at once, all the pain she’d been ignoring crashed down on her at once. Burns stretched down both arms and her sides, and by the pain she felt each time she drew breath, Hanako was fairly certain she’d at least cracked her ribs.
29 October 2022
Once she arrived, over half of it was already aflame. Soon she arrived at a makeshift tent that had been set up, which seemed to serve as a hospital of sorts. Among the handful inside, the boy who’d lifted a sword too big for him lay on a cot, clutching his stomach. His sister sat next to him, clutching his arm as she pleaded, “Satoru! Satoru!”
Round two on the final battle. I like this one a lot more; there’s still a few tweaks I made to it after this on the 31st, but overall, this is the core of what I used.
I’m still iffy on the general offering Hanako a place with the shogun’s army. Just feels off. But he needed to say something. I’ll likely change that at a later date, especially if I wind up doing anything more formal with this story.
Hanako didn’t know how much of what she felt was rage and how much was panic. As she jumped back toward the village, all she could think about was the village elder’s face as he’d screamed, “She’s doomed us all!”
It wasn’t long before she ran into a group of people running into the forest. She recognized the woman who’d defended her against the village elder, who seemed to be the one keeping everyone together. Hanako stopped and asked, “What’s going on?”
The woman replied, “The army attacked. A massive group of them, from the north. Benjiro gathered what people he could to slow down and let us escape, but…” She shook her head. “They’re mostly just old men and boys.”
Hanako’s chest tightened. “I’m on my way. Be careful; there was another force further that way. I took care of most of them, but there could be stragglers.”
The woman nodded. “Thank you.”
Hanako turned to leave, but she caught sight of Chiaki, with vacant eyes and tears flowing down her cheeks. “Chiaki?”
She reached out to her, but the woman from before pulled her back. “Leave her be.”
“What… what happened?”
“Her mother was one of the first to fight back; Chiaki was still there when they killed her. We managed to pull her away before anything worse happened, but…”
Ice ran through Hanako’s veins as memories of the gentle innkeeper passed through her mind. She hadn’t known the woman long, but it was enough to have earned Hanko’s respect. The beast inside Hanako’s chest strained against her control, almost breaking free, and tears pooled in her eyes, though they didn’t fall yet. “Be safe.”
“You too.” The woman waved her off, and Hanako dashed for the village.
Once she arrived, over half of it was already aflame. Soon she arrived at a makeshift tent that had been set up, which seemed to serve as a hospital of sorts. Among the handful inside, the boy who’d lifted a sword too big for him lay on a cot, clutching his stomach. His sister sat next to him, clutching his arm as she pleaded, “Satoru! Satoru!”
Hanako almost stopped, but if she didn’t take care of the army, nothing she did here would matter. So she ignored the ache in her chest and rushed toward the sound of fighting ahead. On the way, she thought she caught sight of the village elder, eyes open, sword in hand, laying in the street.
When she finally arrived at the battlefront, she saw their commander, an old, white-haired general, with the captain she’d fought in town earlier beside him. A few dozen soldiers were scattered around, fighting the last of the villagers who tried to resist.
“That’s her, sir,” the captain said. “The oni swordswoman.”
The general studied Hanako. “So Suzune failed to pin her down.”
The last threads on Hanako’s control began to fray, and she pulled out her sword. The general looked unconcerned. “You, swordswoman. You don’t carry yourself like other oni. Would you consider joining the shogun’s forces?”
Hanako was incredulous. “For what? More of this? Burned villages and murdered townsfolk?”
A few soldiers flinched at that, but the general remained impassive. “We only do the will of the shogun.”
That was the last push. The restraints on Hanako’s wrath snapped, and she roared into the army in a storm of steel and blood. Everything blurred together as tears streamed down her face. She vaguely remembered cutting down the general and the captain; there was also a group of soldiers who moved to surround her only to lose their heads. Another group tried nets; before they could throw them, though, she stomped the ground, and the weakened village buildings collapsed on top of them.
Even after the troops broke ranks and began to flee, Hanako’s wrath drove her on, and she screamed as she cut them down. By the time she came to her senses, she stood alone on a field of corpses.
Hanako sank to her knees, and gazed at the devastated village as it burned. She looked down at her blood soaked hands, and then screamed to the sky.
By the time Suzune had come to and gathered what was left of her forces, everything was over. They’d hobbled to the village, in hopes to rendezvous with the rest of the army. But when they arrived, they could only look in horror. Captain Ito watched the flames flicker against the dying light of evening; he’d been assigned as an archer to Suzune’s force, and was one of the few lucky enough to escape uninjured.
Suzune’s attention, however, wasn’t on the village, but on a lone figure kneeling in the blood and muck a little ways away. One of her other men also noticed and moved to draw his bow, but Suzune pushed it back down.
The men all looked to her. “Unless you managed to kill her with a single shot,” she explained, “which I doubt, you’d engage us in a fight we’re in no condition to win. Besides…” she looked around the devastation around them. “I think there’s been enough death here today.”
She signaled the retreat, but while the rest of her force turned to head back, she continued staring at Hanako. “Say, Captain Ito.” She spoke softly, and Ito paused. “When we die, do you think anyone will weep for us like that?”
Ito turned and looked at the red haired oni girl. “After what I’ve seen here,” he whispered, “I honestly don’t know.”
Current Draft of Hanako’s story (including unposted content)
28 October 2022
“I only do the will of the shogun.”
They held each other’s gaze for just a moment. With a yell, they charged at each other at the same moment. Once they’d crossed paths, the blade of the general’s sword fell to the ground where it had been cut, and he began to bleed at the throat. Yet he still had time to whisper, “Magnificent,” before he collapsed to the ground.
Moments later, Hanako sank to her knees, and for the first time she noticed the tears that had been streaming down her face. She looked down at her blood soaked hands, and then screamed to the sky.
So, here we are, the first draft of the final battle. It’s interesting how different it is from the forest battle with Suzune and her men; that was very technical, with the focus on the action. This one seemed to call for a more emotion-centric approach. That’s actually why I redid it; I didn’t think I pulled in enough emotional weight for Hanako’s reactions to make sense.
I thought the bit with the general was cool, though, even if the changes I made make it non-canon now.
Hanako didn’t know how much of what she felt was rage and how much was panic. As she jumped back toward the village, all she could think about was the village elder’s face as he’d screamed, “She’s doomed us all!”
By the time she’d gotten close, several buildings, including the inn, were aflame. Most of the villagers fled before the soldiers; what few tried to plead with them had been cut down. A small group was doing their best to defend the retreating masses from the army, but even at this distance Hanako could tell they wouldn’t last long.
Like a whisper in her ear, Hanako heard the words, “You’ve doomed us all.” And with that, the last tethers on her rage broke, and she roared into the rear of the army in a storm of steel and blood.
Everything blended together. She vaguely remembered a group of soldiers tried to surround her, only to lose their heads. Another group tried to throw nets and entangle her; she stomped, shaking the earth so much they dropped the nets, where she picked them up and flung them about like a flail.
Even after the troops broke ranks and began to flee, Hanako’s wrath drove her on, and she roared as she cut them down. It was only when the commander, a white-haired general stood before her that she wrenched herself out of her haze of wrath.
Around them, flames crackled and devoured the village. Hanako gestured around them. “Is this what you and your shogun want? Burned villages and murdered families? All for what?”
The general set his face to stone. “I only do the will of the shogun.”
The general had been loyal to the shogun his whole life. He did not doubt. He did not question. He simply moved as an extension of the shogun’s will.
So when he realized the village had little to nothing in the way of defenses, he thought little of it. They had sheltered an oni; therefore, they were enemies of the shogunate. It was as simple as that.
The first flickers of doubt crept into his mind, however, when he saw the village elder draw his weapon and lead the few men they had left against the army. The general had asked, “I thought you denied sheltering the oni?”
The village elder smiled wryly, even as he barely managed to turn the general’s sword away from his body. “I am ashamed to admit it, but that is the truth. Had we known what she was, we never would have let her in.”
“Ashamed?” The general waved around them. “Would that not have saved your village?”
The elder snorted. “There are worse things than death. That girl reminded me of that. We were doomed the moment you camped near our gates.”
And the general killed him. But the elder’s words struck a chord.
It was not long thereafter when the oni crashed into his army like a blazing red comet. The general watched her fight in amazement. There was no more attempts to be non-lethal; this time, she was here for the slaughter. Yet even in that, the general could not help but feel reverence at her grace and skill; he’d rarely seen that in human swordsmen, much less the monstrous oni.
Yet even then, what struck him most wasn’t her swordplay or destructive power. It was the tears that streamed down her face.
“I only do the will of the shogun.”
They held each other’s gaze for just a moment. With a yell, they charged at each other at the same moment. Once they’d crossed paths, the blade of the general’s sword fell to the ground where it had been cut, and he began to bleed at the throat. Yet he still had time to whisper, “Magnificent,” before he collapsed to the ground.
Moments later, Hanako sank to her knees, and for the first time she noticed the tears that had been streaming down her face. She looked down at her blood soaked hands, and then screamed to the sky.
Current Draft of Hanako’s story (including unposted content)
24 October 2022
The archers fired at Hanko, but she dodged them and closed in on the nearest swordsman. She drove her fist into his solar plexus and dropped him, and then kicked one of the fallen trees into the chest of the other one.
Suzune began to laugh, and unable to contain herself any longer, she jumped in. She swung the kanabo down as she landed, but Hanako rolled backward, clearing the log behind her.
This was fun. I’d actually taken graph paper to map out where everyone was and how they moved, and it is such a mess. I’m glad I took notes “round by round” so I could understand what was happening because that map looks illegible now. It does make it clear where all the action is concentrated, though.
The mapping and choreography actually happened on the 22, while I was watching the black belt clinic my brother had organized it, but I got home super late that night and didn’t want to feel rushed to write this scene in its entirety before bed.
Suzune headed the force as they followed the road through the forest. The other officers claimed she was “more likely to survive an ambush”, not that she minded. Up front was where she was most likely to satisfy her battle-lust.
Even she couldn’t hide her surprise, though, when they found a redheaded girl cheerily eating lunch off the side of the road. Her hair was tied back in a ponytail, and she wore a simple kamishiro with red accents. To make the image particularly surreal, a cart filled with tied up ahlf-naked men was parked beside her. Suzune recognized some of them from the missing members of Takamoto’s squad.
The girl looked up and beamed at them. “Good afternoon!” Her eyes locked onto Suzune. For a moment, the girl was stunned silent, but then she rushed up. “Are you an oni, too? I hadn’t expected to meet one here! I thought the shogun hated yokai? Oh, is that a kanabo!? I’ve never actually seen one in real life before!”
This was the oni swordswoman? Suzune couldn’t help feeling bitter as she swallowed her disappointment. The girl couldn’t be any older than she was, and stood a full head shorter than her. Suzune moved her kanabo out of the girl’s reach and asked, “So you’re the oni swordmaster we’ve heard about?”
The girl stepped back and scratched the back of her head sheepishly. “Ah, yeah, probably. They kicked me out of the village when they learned what I was.” She held out her hand for a handshake. “I’m Hanako. What’s your name?”
Behind her back, Suzune signaled the archers to get ready to fire, while the rest of her men began circling around to surround Hanako. “Lieutenant Suzune.” She shot an inquisitive look over Hanako at the cart.
“Oh, right. These are all the guys that got left behind earlier. We sold their armor, though; hope you don’t mind.”
“We”, huh? So that bit about getting kicked out was Hanako’s attempt to protect the village. Suzune pretended not to notice and motion to a couple of her men, who retrieved the cart and began pulling it back towards camp.
As soon as it was clear, Suzune signaled the archers to fire. However, as soon as they released, Hanako inhaled and let out a roar so powerful it deflected all but a few of the arrows, which she avoided with ease.
Suzune’s eyes widened, and her lips curled into a feral smile. In the split second before Hanako roared, Suzune swore the redhead’s expression turned to stone, and the pressure she exuded now was nothing like it was before. Afterward, her skin returned to normal, but that pressure hadn’t left.
Still, Hanako wore a half-cocked smile as she said, “You really shouldn’t do this. Against this many opponents, I don’t think I can hold back. People might get killed.”
Suzune snorted. “That’s part of what it means to be a soldier.” She gave a shout, and everyone moved in.
In response, Hanako’s smile dropped. “Alright, then.” She raised one foot. Her skin flashed crimson and her hair turned white as she stomped the ground and unleashed a massive shockwave; every tree within a hundred meters toppled over. Most of Suzune’s forces had been pinned or knocked unconscious, and a few were likely crushed. Suzune herself had to jump back to avoid getting caught, but the part of her that thrived on battle could only rejoice.
Still, she kept enough composure to check that the cart with the returned soldiers was fine, and confirmed that only a handful of archers remained. Near Hanako, a group of spearmen picked themselves back up, and a pair of swordsmen drew their weapons and tried to circle around her.
The archers fired at Hanko, but she dodged them and closed in on the nearest swordsman. She drove her fist into his solar plexus and dropped him, and then kicked one of the fallen trees into the chest of the other one.
Suzune began to laugh, and unable to contain herself any longer, she jumped in. She swung the kanabo down as she landed, but Hanako rolled backward, clearing the log behind her.
A few more arrows streaked in, but Hanako drew her sword to divert them only to resheathe it. Suzune’s rage pulsed over the battlefield; this girl dared fight her without her weapon drawn?
The spearmen, meanwhile, did their best to circle around and pin Hanako down. One got close enough to thrust his spear at Hanako; she grabbed it and used it as leverage to launch a hook kick at Suzune’s head.
Suzune blocked, but she was shocked at the force of the kick; it might have even cracked one of the bones in her forearm. She made a point to pay attention when Hanako pulled the spearman in and delivered a palm strike to his chin. Whereas every other oni Suzune had encountered just let their rage run rampant in battle, this swordswoman channeled it somehow. She unleashed it only at the moment of impact. Through her own haze of battle-lust, Suzune wondered if she’d be able to do the same thing.
Mostly, though, Suzune was simply ecstatic to have such a worthy foe. She swung her club backhanded and to try to knock Hanako’s head from her shoulders, but the swordswoman ducked underneath it and jabbed her in the ribs. One or two probably cracked, but the pain just made Suzune laugh even harder.
The last couple spearmen finally navigated through the fallen trees well enough to lunge at Hanako. However, she stepped to the right, blocked the spear coming form that direction, and grabbed that spearman and hurled him into the other.
Suzune took a half-step back, picked up one of the trees, and threw it at Hanako. Hanako ducked around again, and was about to attack when something above the treeline caught her attention.
Suzune turned to see what was going on. A column of smoke drifted up on the horizon, right about where the village should be. She turned back to face Hanako, but she only had a split second to watch as Hanako’s expression morphed from horror to pure, unbridled rage. Then something heavy impacted Suzune’s chest, and she went flying. By the time her back struck a tree, almost 100 meters away, Hanako had already leapt into the air toward the village. The force of the jump was so strong it cracked the earth and formed a crater.
As the battle-lust faded and her consciousness began to drift in and out, Suzune wondered, “Just what have we unleashed?” Then she sank into darkness.
Current Draft of Hanako’s story (including unposted content)