DREAMS of a CLOUD

Peruse the many random ramblings of a writer-in-training as I build stories and develop my craft.

Orphan of Hamelin, 2022 Nathaniel Cloud Orphan of Hamelin, 2022 Nathaniel Cloud

9 December 2022

Charles, the son of the town constable, chipped in. “I-I don’t think you have to worry about the rats m-much longer. Pa said they g-got someone to come and get rid of them.”

“Ha! Better keep a tight hold on your pet,” Beth said. Then she looked thoughtful. “Do you think he’ll take Nella away, too?”

A bunch of the other kids laughed, and tears pooled in Nella’s eyes. She stood still for a moment or two, then turned and ran, heedless of the calls one or two of the other kids made to her.

Kids can be mean. And they’re more willing to say what they really think than most adults. I hope I captured some of that, as well as how easy it is to assume everyone in a group is the same, whether that’s true or not.

While I wrote this bit, I did a bunch more research on the pied piper. Pied, it turns out, means “multi-colored”, based on the same pie as magpie. So I didn’t have to shift my mental image of the piper at all… Though I did make some fun decisions about who the piper might be.

Reality wasn’t always so kind.

She found the other children quickly enough, and hoisted Barton up to get a better grip on him as she got closer. It looked like they were playing some kind of tag. “Can I play?”

As soon as the other kids saw her, they froze, and many of them scowled. Grace, a blonde girl and a very fast runner, even stuck her tongue out. “Why would we let you play?”

Johan, a large boy a couple years older than Nella, cut in at that point. “You don’t have to be mean about it.” That said, he still raised an eyebrow at Nella. “But are you sure? Father Monroe might get mad.”

Father Monroe was Nella’s caretaker at the orphanage. Nella bit her lip. “Even if I don’t, he’ll get mad about something anyway. I want to be friends.”

Another of the girls, Beth, snorted. “Who’d want to be friends with you? You spend all day hanging out with rats.” She looked Nella up and down and added, “I bet you’re the reason we’ve had to deal with so many of them lately.”

Nella shook her head and squeezed Barton tighter. This wasn’t going very well. All the words she’d thought up and practiced had vanished right out of her head.

Chris, the son of the town constable, chipped in. “I-I don’t think you have to worry about the rats m-much longer. Pa said they g-got someone to come and get rid of them.”

“Ha! Better keep a tight hold on your pet,” Beth said. Then she looked thoughtful. “Do you think he’ll take Nella away, too?”

A bunch of the other kids laughed, and tears pooled in Nella’s eyes. She stood still for a moment or two, then turned and ran, heedless of the calls one or two of the other kids made to her.

Nella sat at the edge of the fountain, sobbing. Some time later, a man’s voice called out to her. “Why are you crying, little one?”

She spun to see who spoke to her, and found a strange man staring at her. He wore a green felt shirt with bright red pants, with all sorts of bits and baubles dangling from his belt. His boots were well-worn but cared for, and a checkered cloak in yellow and black trailed behind him. In one hand he held a beautiful set of golden pipes.

Nella wiped her eyes. “It’s the other kids. They’re being mean, and say the rat-catcher is going to take me and Barton away. All I wanted was a friend…”

“Why, that is quite a sad tale.” The man mused for a moment. “I know what I shall do, then. Shall I play a song for you?”

“But…I don’t have anything to pay you with.”

“Fret not, dear child. This time, the only payment I require is to turn that frown into a brilliant smile. Shall I, then?”

<-Hamelin Previous

Hamelin Next->

Compiled version (potentially including unposted content)

Read More
Other, 2022 Nathaniel Cloud Other, 2022 Nathaniel Cloud

8 December 2022

Yeah, I guess I was still struggling here, too. I think this may have been 10-15 minutes at the end of the day when I was dead tired and just forcing myself to write something.

Yeah, I guess I was still struggling here, too. I think this may have been 10-15 minutes at the end of the day when I was dead tired and just forcing myself to write something.

This comes from an idea I’ve been loosely playing with for a dark lord/monster lord type character… who is a little girl and doesn’t know where that is. Wherever she goes, monsters are attracted to her, which causes problems. So she starts looking for the heroes, because they’re strong enough they can be friends with her without causing issues.

This is after she joins the hero party, when one of the few sentient monsters comes by.

Ariadne had been tracking this energy for two or three years now, and finally, she’d closed in on it. There was no way to mistake it; that was the energy of the Lord of Monsters, the one destined to raise monsterkind to new heights and defend them from the curse of humanity.

There was only one problem. That energy emanated from deep within the hero party’s home base.

The only thing Ariadne could figure was the heroes must have discovered the Lord of Monsters and imprisoned them. Which means Ariadne had to find a way to sneak in and break them out.

Read More
Hanako, 2022 Nathaniel Cloud Hanako, 2022 Nathaniel Cloud

6 December 2022

“Second, concerning his allegations of treachery.” Captain Ito paused, and turned to stare into the crowd. “You all know me. My hatred for oni is well known, and I would have been eager for any excuse to remove Lt. Suzune from the army. And even so, I will say such a thing is impossible.”

He turned to the shogun. “Even ignoring every effort she has made to honor your name and family, my lord, I witnessed her fight with the oni swordswoman first-hand. The lieutenant ended that battle with a broken arm and over half her ribs cracked. Even so, she led the rescue efforts for the rest of the ambush force, lifting trees and things like that, and then rushed to rendezvous with the general’s army. We would have lost half again as many men were it not for her quick responses.”

I’ve come to appreciate Ito a lot more. He was kind of a throw away character at first; someone who was supposed to be among Suzune’s multitude of haters. Kind of balance Nakamura’s chauvinistic side with more generic straight racism, I guess? Anyway, he took on a life of his own, which means at some point I’ll have to go back and tweak his introduction to fit his true self better. I really look forward to his character arc.

One concern I have with this scene is how well I handle the shogun and his reactions. I want him to set off warning bells in people’s minds about how he handles/interacts with Suzune, but at the same time, this is not a situation where he can write her off like I’d initially planned. I do have a dinner conversation for the next scene that helps establish their relationship better, but if this scene’s the readers’ first introduction to him, I want everything set up correctly… Unless I skip straight to the dinner, tweak it so he’d already taken care of Nakamura? That could work…

Then Captain Ito stood and saluted. “Permission to speak, my lord?”

“Granted.”

“Concerning the plan Lt. Suzune presented. She offered it in a meeting of all the officers under the general, and the general himself approved it. Nakamura himself was present at this meeting, and no one spoke against the plan itself. If the issue is truly a matter of incompetence, then Lt. Nakamura’s words condemn all of us present, and most especially the general.

“What’s more, it could be said we succeeded in the plan, though the cost was far higher than predicted. Chizu has burned to the ground; I verified that with my own eyes. Nakamura himself should have known this, if he was still present on the battlefield until the end.

“Second, concerning his allegations of treachery.” He paused, and turned to stare into the crowd. “You all know me. My hatred for oni is well known, and I would have been eager for any excuse to remove Lt. Suzune from the army. And even so, I will say such a thing is impossible.” 

He turned to the shogun. “Even ignoring every effort she has made to honor your name and family, my lord, I witnessed her fight with the oni swordswoman first-hand. The lieutenant ended that battle with a broken arm and over half her ribs cracked. Even so, she led the rescue efforts for the rest of the ambush force, lifting trees and things like that, and then rushed to rendezvous with the general’s army. We would have lost half again as many men were it not for her quick responses.” He pressed his lips together into a thin line. “Curiously, Lt. Nakamura was not with what remained of the army at Chizu. Perhaps he had already fled.”

The shogun turned to Suzune, and Suzune quailed under his disapproving stare. “A single oni did this much damage to you?”

“Y-yes, Father.” Suzune dropped her gaze to the ground.

Next to her, Ito spoke up again. “If I may, my lord. The way this oni swordswoman fought seemed familiar. If I hadn’t known better, I would have believed it was Swordmaster Kojima himself.”

“I see.” The shogun stared at Suzune a moment longer, before he leaned back and turned to Nakamura. “Have you anything more you wish to say in your defense?”

Nakamura, whose expression had grown more and more sour as Ito talked, was taken aback. “My defense, my lord?”

“You have shamed your superior officer, the general, and cast aspersions on my own family, even if she is just an oni. What’s more, there is a great deal of evidence, beyond even what Captain Ito has just presented, of your cowardly flight from Chizu. Have you anything you wish to add?”

Nakamura’s face paled, and he opened and closed his mouth like a dying fish. “Once it was clear he had nothing to say, the shogun rose from his throne and proclaimed, “Then I strip you of all rank, station, and possessions, and exile you from the shogunate. Let all witness and accomplish it.”

Two of the shogun’s guards marched forward and grabbed Nakamura by each shoulder. He began to protest, but all in the room ignored his cries as he was escorted out.

Once the throne room was silent once more, the shogun announced, “In light of their valor in the battle of Chizu, and considering the loss of so many stalwart officers, I promote both Captain Ito and Lieutenant Suzune to the rank of Major. Let all witness and receive it.”

Suzune’s eyes went wide. She had to hold back her tears as she saluted her father and bowed as low as possible.

Ito, however, seemed more reserved as he bowed. “Thank you for this honor, my lord. But may I request a leave of absence? There is much on my mind after this battle I must consider.”

“If there is something troubling you, we would hear it, that we may know how best to assist you.”

Ito shook his head. “It is only a small thing, my lord, concerning a personal matter. It is not worth troubling our great lord over.”

For a long time the shogun didn’t respond. “How long do you plan for this absence?”

“At least a week, my lord. But no longer than two months.”

“Very well. May your mind be refreshed upon your return.” The shogun clapped and siad, “I will retire to my chambers. Suzune, attend me.”

“Yes, Father.”

As the councilors and officers began filtering out of the room, Suzune followed her father to his private quarters.

<-Hanako First

<-Hanako Previous

Hanako Next->

Current Draft of Hanako’s story (including unposted content)

Read More
Hanako, 2022 Nathaniel Cloud Hanako, 2022 Nathaniel Cloud

5 December 2022

“…I can only conclude that either Lt. Suzune is incompetent, or she was in collusion with the oni to eliminate key officers in your army, and thus secure a promotion.”

Suzune trembled in rage. How could Nakamura tell such blatant lies to her father when she stood right there? All she needed was an excuse, and she’d end him then and there.

Then Father turned and looked at her. And all that anger evaporated into a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. Did Father believe him?

The next part of Suzune’s report/confrontation with her father. The whole scene was surprisingly hard to write; maybe it’s just the mood I’ve been in lately? I went back a bit to revise how I introduced Nakamura, and then mostly, it was just struggling to figure out what arguments he, Suzune, and Ito would all use, and in what order.

They entered the room, and Suzune was shocked to see Lieutenant Nakamura kneeling before Father. It was all she could do to keep her face impassive. So Nakamura was a coward. The only way he could be here was if he’d fled from the battle at the village and abandoned the general and Captain Takamoto.

Suzune walked up beside him and kneeled before the shogun. “You requested to see me, Father?”

“Indeed. I have some questions concerning the battle at Chizu village.” He turned to Nakamura. “Recount what you told me one more time, lieutenant.”

“Sir!” Nakamura glanced sidewise and sneered at Suzune before he stood and saluted the shogun. “It pains me to tell you this, my lord, but I suspect treachery from Lieutenant Suzune.”

At that, there was a collective gasp from the councilors and officers in the room, and Suzune’s heart roared. Her fingers twitched, eager to remove Nakamura’s head from his body for even suggesting such an impossibility. She managed to restrain herself; she’d tried hard to prove to the shogunate–and her father in particular–that she was more than some barbaric oni.

Once the hubbub quieted down, Nakamura continued. “The night before the battle, Lt. Suzune herself outlined the plan to eliminate an oni warrior and the village sheltering it. As part of this plan, she would lure the enemy oni away and subdue it, while the general and the bulk of the army fell upon the village and razed it to the ground.”

“Go on.” The shogun’s face was impassive. Even Suzune couldn’t tell what he was thinking. A small nugget of doubt began to worm its way into Suzune’s heart.

“The plan proceeded as normal; Suzune’s group attracted the oni, and I, along with the general and the rest of the army, attacked Chizu. However it was only moments later when the oni fell upon our rear in full battle-frenzy. The general, along with Captain Takamoto and many other officers, fell to the unexpected onslaught. I can only conclude that either Lt. Suzune is incompetent, or she was in collusion with the oni to eliminate key officers in your army, and thus secure a promotion.”

Suzune trembled in rage. How could Nakamura tell such blatant lies to her father when she stood right there? All she needed was an excuse, and she’d end him then and there.

Then Father turned and looked at her. And all that anger evaporated into a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. Did Father believe him?

<-Hanako First

<-Hanako Previous

Hanako Next->

Current Draft of Hanako’s story (including unposted content)

Read More
Butterfly Knight, 2022 Nathaniel Cloud Butterfly Knight, 2022 Nathaniel Cloud

4 December 2022

“The Lady of the Lost?”

Cordelia nodded. “The twin sister of the Eternal Rose. Some refer to her as the Queen of the Forgotten or the Shadowed Princess, as well, because she’s become the patron goddess of the downtrodden.”

Towards the end of November, I started thinking about this story and about my homebrew D&D setting. This story is loosely set there, with the Eternal Rose being one of the core pantheon. There’s another member of the pantheon that is basically the patron goddess of the lost and the forsaken, and also has ties to death and things, which I feel like fits pretty well with the butterfly theme in and of itself.

While I was thinking, it occurred to me that the adherents of these two goddesses don’t necessarily follow what their goddesses actually desire, and it’d be easy to see how feuds between their believers might form, even if the goddesses themselves are on good terms with each other. Then it occurred to me this might be why Aislin becomes a knight; war breaks out, a mutual crusade of sorts, and she represents the third option, taking the ideas of both and blending them together. And becomes the champion of both, which is where the symbol of the butterfly comes in.

One day, as she came in from working on the garden, Aislin realized something. “Where are all the poor people?”

“Poor people?” Cordelia asked.

“Yes. Don’t they, more than anyone, need that spark of beauty to get them through life’s difficulties?”

Cordelia looked away in shame. “They…Many of the priests here consider them ‘unclean’. I’ve also heard ‘inelegant’ and ‘course’. According to those priests, the poor detract from the beauty of the temple when they visit, and turn them away. Most of the poor in the city have to make do worshipping the Lady of the Lost.”

Aislin suspected Cordelia herself had once been one such priestess. Based on the guilt and shame in her voice and expression, though, that was no longer the case. Aislin didn’t press her on it. “The Lady of the Lost?”

Cordelia nodded. “The twin sister of the Eternal Rose. Some refer to her as the Queen of the Forgotten or the Shadowed Princess, as well, because she’s become the patron goddess of the downtrodden.”

Aislin cocked her head. “And she has a temple in the city? Where is it?”

“Well… more of a shrine then a temple.” Cordelia gave her a concerned look. “You’re not planning on going, are you?”

“Why should I not? They still need help, and offering that help will in turn make the world a more beautiful place. Am I wrong?”

Cordelia reluctantly shook her head and gave her directions. Aislin headed out and began walking to the shrine. 

The closer she got, the worse the streets became. First, it was all the dirt and mud that coated the streets and building walls. Then she noticed broken windows here and there. This was obviously a far more dangerous part of the city compared to the areas she’d been living and working in.

<-Aislin Previous

Aislin Next->

Read More
Hanako, 2022 Nathaniel Cloud Hanako, 2022 Nathaniel Cloud

3 December 2022

They entered the room and kneeled before the shogun. “You requested to see me, Father?”

The shogun sat upon his wooden throne, painted cherry red with gold inlays. “Indeed, Lieutenant Suzune. I wish to hear in greater detail the events surrounding the village of Chizu.”

“Yes, Father.” She stood and opened her mouth to speak but her father held up a hand. “First, there is one other report on the matter we would hear. Speak, Nakamura.”

For whatever reason, I was in a major funk all day last Saturday. I still managed to accomplish some things… but I only got about 25 minutes of writing in before I was just… done. I kind of regret it, to be honest, but I think days like that happen sometimes.

On the other hand, I did finish up a fair amount of research on gaslighting (based mostly on this video from Cinema Therapy on Mother Gothel in Tangled), and figured out how that applies to the shogun and some of his interactions with Suzune. Even if I haven’t gotten to them yet.

Suzune marched to the shogun’s throne room. Ito walked just behind her, to her right. She didn’t know what to make of him, anymore; after the battle with the oni girl–Hanako–he’d stopped his angry rants, and even walked beside her as an adjutant, despite the fact he outranked her.

They entered the room and kneeled before the shogun. “You requested to see me, Father?”

The shogun sat upon his wooden throne, painted cherry red with gold inlays. “Indeed, Lieutenant Suzune. I wish to hear in greater detail the events surrounding the village of Chizu.”

“Yes, Father.” She stood and opened her mouth to speak but her father held up a hand. “First, there is one other report on the matter we would hear. Speak, Nakamura.”

From out of the crowd, Lieutenant Nakamura stepped forward and sneered at Suzune. It was all she could do to keep her face impassive; if Nakamura was here, then he’d fled like a coward. Most of those who’d survived Hanako’s onslaught had already reunited with Suzune’s forces; the fact Nakamura hadn’t spoke volumes.

Nakamura bowed to the shogun.

<-Hanako First

<-Hanako Previous

Hanako Next->

Current Draft of Hanako’s story (including unposted content)

Read More
Orphan of Hamelin, 2022 Nathaniel Cloud Orphan of Hamelin, 2022 Nathaniel Cloud

2 December 2022

Nella squeezed Barton in her arms and boldly stepped out onto the street. It was a new day, and she knew that it was this day. Today was the day she’d make a real friend. No offense to Barton.

First, though she had to work. If you didn’t work, you didn’t eat, and Nella needed to eat. She started at Baker Malcolm’s. Before she even made it in the door, though, Malcolm stopped her. “Eh-eh, little Nell. No rats.”

Something about the story of the pied piper of Hamelin has always fascinated me. I’m not sure what it is. There was a D&D solo session I had around 6 years ago that played into it, but even before that, it’s just teased at the corners of my brain. I really noticed it after I wrote the scene with Duke Hareln during Nanowrimo; my first thought for his name was Hameln, and I was pondering on why that is.

Then I got to thinking about the story, and how fae-like the pied piper is. From there I thought about deals and trades and fairness in the way it applies to the fae, and I found one possible individual that the pied piper might have had no hold over. And that’s where we get our story.

Nella squeezed Barton in her arms and boldly stepped out onto the street. It was a new day, and she knew that it was this day. Today was the day she’d make a real friend. No offense to Barton.

First, though she had to work. If you didn’t work, you didn’t eat, and Nella needed to eat. She started at Baker Malcolm’s. Before she even made it in the door, though, Malcolm stopped her. “Eh-eh, little Nell. No rats.”

Nella pinched her eyebrows together and squeezed Barton tighter, enough that he squeaked and squirmed in protest. “Barton’s not like other rats. He’s my friend.”

“Still, no. He’ll nibble the bread, and then what have I to sell, eh?” He plucked a roll out of a basket and tossed it to her. “You still have not had a breakfast yet, no? Here.”

“Thanks.” Nella caught it and took a big bite. She peered past Malcolm into his kitchen, where a couple of rats snuck onto the counter. “I though rats weren’t allowed in the bakery?”

Malcolm looked back, then cursed loudly and began waving a knife around. Nella decided he’d be busy for a while, so she went to see if anyone else had jobs for her to do.

Next she visited Arnauld and Janine, the candlemakers. Then Robert the butcher and Renee the tailor. None of them had work for her, either. While she walked around town she spotted twelve different rats scurrying about. That was a lot more than normal. Maybe Barton told all his friends and family what a nice town it was here?

While she walked over to Margaret the weaver woman’s shop, she over heard Old Ethel chatting with her friend, Agatha. “There she goes again, that Nella, with her blighted rat. Stinks up the place something awful. Hasn’t she learned there are such things as baths?”

“Now, now. It’s not her fault, is it? And it could be worse. At least she’s the good, honest sort, not some sneak thief or pickpocket.”

Nella frowned. She lifted an arm and sniffed; she didn’t smell anything. And she took a bath just four days ago. Did she really stink?

In the end, though, she shrugged and forgot about it. Margaret, it turned out, did need some help, so Nella helped her weave baskets in the back room. Margaret was nice enough to treat her to lunch, and Nella thanked her before she ran out to go play with the other kids.

Or, well, that was what Nella had hoped for.

Hamelin Next->

Compiled version (potentially including unposted content)

Read More
General, 2022, Nanowrimo 2022, Rapunzel Nathaniel Cloud General, 2022, Nanowrimo 2022, Rapunzel Nathaniel Cloud

1 December 2022

I felt like I should take some time, now that Nanowrimo is done for the year, to look back and reflect on what I’ve learned and what I’ve accomplished.

First off, wow. This was the best Nanowrimo I’ve had since my first one, and possibly even that one, despite a slightly lower word count. I’m still parsing through why I feel that way

Stuff I wrote while reflecting on Nanowrimo.

I felt like I should take some time, now that Nanowrimo is done for the year, to look back and reflect on what I’ve learned and what I’ve accomplished.

First off, wow. This was the best Nanowrimo I’ve had since my first one, and possibly even that one, despite a slightly lower word count. I’m still parsing through why I feel that way; part of it definitely has to do with how committed I was.

I learned a lot about myself and my writing process, too. First, I need to give myself the freedom to wander around my story. If I try to force myself to write things in order, for whatever reason, it stops being fun, starts stressing me out, and my motivation gets shot. This is a bit frustrating, since I feel like having everything nice and organized would be so much simpler, but if that’s the way it needs to work for me, so be it.

Closely related to that, for the first time, I figured out how to work around outdated bits of story without being compelled to immediately rewrite them. I’ve struggled with that in the past. There’s one story I started that has 10-15 different versions of the first chapter, even though I’ve yet to finish it. (That story’s been shelved for now, but I do intend to finish it at some point.)

That wouldn’t have worked with Rapunzel. Because it was part of Nanowrimo, it felt like I couldn’t, even, and that wound up really good for me. It let me find the whole story, not just the next piece of it.

The most surprising thing I learned, though, was how much it affects my day, in a positive way, when I get up early to squeeze in and extra 20-30 minutes of writing. That wasn’t easy for me; I have to start work at 6 AM, so I needed to start getting up at 4:30 if I wanted to do that. But generally speaking, rather than feeling extra tired, I was strangely energetic and a lot happier while I was at work.

There’s also a lot of work I need to do, both to improve my writing in general and for Rapunzel specifically. In particular, a lot of my sentences were far too same-y. “So-and-so verbed X.” Part of that was because I was rushing through and put no effort into trying to make it sound better… but there’s also the fact that no other alternatives immediately sprang to ming. That’s something I’d like to work on in my daily writing over the course of the next few weeks; I’ll try to think up exercises I can do for that.

Key to that, I need to read more. I think that’ll help a lot, especially if I’m proactively paying attention to sentence structure as I read… Not that I’m good at that. It’s far too easy for me to get sucked into the story and forget everything else.

More specifically to Rapunzel, there are a lot of concerns. Isaac, for example. I want him to feel like a cool, proactive younger brother with a bit of a stubborn streak. (That part seems to run in the family.) I worry that instead, I made him too annoying or stuck up, maybe inflexible, with the added insult of general being “right”. I’ll need to think on that. There may be nothing I do about it until I get the story more polished, and get feedback from other readers to see if there actually is an issue at that point.

Another is Rapunzel’s loss of her fairy “gifts”. Supposedly, she’s been given extra beauty and cleverness, pulled from her own future. Which means once the bonus is gone, after Hannah’s sacrifice, there should be a noticeable difference. And there isn’t. I never address it, it has no consequence on the plot… It bugs me. I have a few ideas, but nothing solid yet.

The battles are also going to need a lot of work - possibly revision after revision, just to try different things out. Don’t get me wrong, I’m actually fairly happy with what I came up with, and even a bit proud of it. But there are a lot more factors that I need to take into account that I forgot (like rain), and Gothel in particular should have a lot more options for things she can do in battle. I don’t want her to feel like some bog-standard D&D dragon, or worse, a brainless giant lizard. I want her to fight like it’s actually Gothel in a dragon’s body.

There’s more I could nitpick; I could probably spend hours ripping my story apart piece by piece. But those were the big things that weigh on me even now. My plan is to set the story down for the next couple weeks, maybe all of December, and pick it back up come January. I think I’d like to get the next draft done by the end of April, though I am starting online courses in February, and I don’t know how that will affect things.

I don’t know if I’ll post any of my revision work on my blog or not. I think this should be separate from my daily writings. But if that’s the only time I have to work on it, I may sneak bits in here and there.

Read More
Rapunzel, 2022, Nanowrimo 2022 Nathaniel Cloud Rapunzel, 2022, Nanowrimo 2022 Nathaniel Cloud

30 November 2022

Hannah nodded. “And that’s why. I want to make as many special memories together with Aurora as I can before we’re separated. Not many people are lucky enough to get advance notice on when their time will run out, after all.” She turned to Rapunzel. “Of course, that’s only if you’re okay with it, Aurora. It is your birthday, after all.”

Rapunzel blinked. She’d never thought about it that way before. She still didn’t think she’d consider herself lucky, but it did make her feel more positive about the circumstances. “Yeah… Yeah. I like that idea.”

Here it is; the end of Nanowrimo. I wrote a more extensive on my thoughts reflecting on the month as a whole Dec 1, the day after, so I will not put too much here. It’s pretty short; I was struggling with motivation, a bit, and this rounded out the scene fairly nicely, at least for where the draft is at now.

Sorry about the delay in posting; I was feeling sick yesterday, and did not accomplish much of anything. Including writing, unfortunately. I’ll be posting the regularly scheduled post for Dec 1 at 9:30 like normal.

The day before Rapunzel’s birthday at breakfast, Hannah made a declaration. “We should make an extra effort to celebrate Aurora’s birthday tomorrow.”

The others at the table, sans Maleficent and Frederick, stared at her in shock. It was Phillip who broke the silence. “Um, but… Isn’t that the day she’s going to die, Your Majesty?”

Hannah nodded. “And that’s why. I want to make as many special memories together with Aurora as I can before we’re separated. Not many people are lucky enough to get advance notice on when their time will run out, after all.” She turned to Rapunzel. “Of course, that’s only if you’re okay with it, Aurora. It is your birthday, after all.”

Rapunzel blinked. She’d never thought about it that way before. She still didn’t think she’d consider herself lucky, but it did make her feel more positive about the circumstances. “Yeah… Yeah. I like that idea.”

So they did. The innkeeper and his wife baked and decorated a massive, lavish cake. While it was baking, Rapunzel set up a small chess tournament, which got far more noisy than chess had any right to be (mostly courtesy of Phillip). They even managed to con Maleficent into participating, which turned out to be the best thing ever for Rapunzel. They met in the finals, and that was the funnest, and toughest, game Rapunzel had ever played; even though she lost, she felt like she learned a ton just from watching Maleficent.

After the cake, Rapunzel tried to teach Hannah and Phillip how to paint, and it wasn’t long before it devolved into an all out paint war. They absolutely splattered the guest room of the inn they were using, and it wasn’t long before Frederick had the three of them down in front of the innkeeper to apologize. For his part, the innkeeper seemed more put out about getting the apology than the paint-splattered room.

Throughout it all, though, Isaac always wore the same sullen expression. He never smiled, and only participated the bare minimum. Not once did he meet Rapunzel’s eyes; in fact, when she tried to corner him to ask him what was up, he slipped away and vanished. Part of her wanted to think he didn’t want to admit she was dying that evening, and that they’d gotten too close in the last few weeks, just like she’d been afraid of. Something told her this was something else, however, and it bothered her she couldn’t figure it out.

When her parents presented her with a pet puppy that afternoon, though, everything clicked into place. She held the puppy ip to stare into its eyes, as a way to avoid looking at either of her parents. “Hey, Mom? Dad?”

They tensed; after the way Rapunzel lit up when she talked about taking care of the animals at the Tower, this wasn’t the reaction they were expecting. “What is it, sweetie?” Hannah asked.

“Generally, a pet is something you give to someone who can take care of it, right? So why are you giving her to me if I’m going to be dead within the next 24 hours?”

Hannah and Frederick exchanged glances with each other, then glanced over at Maleficent. Frederick scratched the back of his head. “Actually, Aurora, we’ve been thinking. And with Maleficent’s help, we’ve come up with a plan.”

<-Rapunzel Previous

Most recently updated draft of Rapunzel, the Sleeping Beauty (potentially including unposted content)

Read More
Rapunzel, 2022, Nanowrimo 2022 Nathaniel Cloud Rapunzel, 2022, Nanowrimo 2022 Nathaniel Cloud

29 November 2022

“So… what now? I’ve never really been part of a family before. And not to be a stick in the mud, but I don’t have a lot of time…”

The air in the room turned frosty, until Isaac spoke up. “Whatever we do, I think we should do it here. I don’t want to waste the last few days we have with you traveling.”

Hannah nodded. “I want to get to know you. What has your life been like? What are your interests? Things like that.”

A small smile curled at one corner of Rapunzel’s mouth. “I’d like that.”

After I finished the draft on the 28th, it was hard to get motivated to put the same energy into writing, or specifically setting aside the time to write. It was as if subconsciously, I’d given myself permission to pursue other projects or pastimes.

Still, the bit between Hannah’s arrival and reunion with Aurora and her sacrifice always felt too short. So I chose to expand that scene, and give them more time together. It took me the next two days to finish it up. I also forgot Phillip; he’s definitely around somewhere. Maybe he’d stay away to give them more time together; maybe not. It still needs to be addressed regardless.

..request.” She gave Frederick a pointed look, and a quick glance at Rapunzel told him all he needed to know.

He grimaced, but the tension in his shoulders eased up. “Alright.” He dipped his head toward Maleficent. “Welcome to Lowenveil.”

Maleficent returned the bow, but she kept a wary eye on both Frederick and his captain of the guard.

As the tension eased up, the princess asked, “So… what now? I’ve never really been part of a family before. And not to be a stick in the mud, but I don’t have a lot of time…”

The air in the room turned frosty, until Isaac spoke up. “Whatever we do, I think we should do it here. I don’t want to waste the last few days we have with you traveling.”

Hannah nodded. “I want to get to know you. What has your life been like? What are your interests? Things like that.”

A small smile curled at one corner of Rapunzel’s mouth. “I’d like that.”

Over the next three to four days, they did all kinds of things. They played games, most of which were suggested by Isaac, and at mealtimes they took turns cooking together. Rapunzel and Hannah even sat and watched Isaac’s sword training with Frederick. Mostly, however, they just talked telling stories about everything from Rapunzel’s relationship with the Tower to the time Hannah caught Frederick sneaking down to the kitchens for a late night snack, only to join him.

A couple days after Hannah arrived, Frederick and Hannah found out Rapunzel could paint. “We should do a family portrait!” Hannah’s eyes twinkled.

Rapunzel looked away. “I’m, uh… I’m not very good with faces yet.”

Frederick shrugged. “Better than I would be.”

“Are you sure? Wouldn’t it be better to have a professional do it?”

Hannah shook her head. “I’d rather have yours.

In the end, Rapunzel finally relented, and they found a good location for it. It took a long time; long enough Isaac was getting irritable. But in time Rapunzel finished it and presented it to her family.

“Like I said, I’m really not good with drawing people yet,” she said. And the painting had evidence of that; Frederick’s jaw was a bit too square, and Isaac’s nose wasn’t quite right. Rapunzel, in particular, was less than satisfied with it. The rest of the family, on the other hand, seemed quite impressed, although Isaac had to make the joke, “Definitely a heck of a lot better than whatever the heck it was you showed me in the Tower.”

Rapunzel scowled, and Hannah and Frederick laughed.

That night, Isaac had trouble sleeping, and decided to head outside for a walk. As he passed the room his parents were staying in, though, he heard his mother’s voice. “...The gifts a fairy-blessed child receives must be paid back, correct?” There was a pause, and then she continued, “Does she have to be the one to pay the price?”

Another voice, Maleficent’s, asked, “What are you suggesting?”

Isaac couldn’t help himself; he moved closer and peered through the crack in the door. Maleficent sat on a chair facing Hannah and Frederick. Hannah sat on the bed, while Frederick paced back and forth, an expression of consternation on his face.

Hannah said, “Well, if anyone can pay the price, couldn’t I take that burden for her?”

Isaac barely stopped himself from gasping and revealing himself. Maleficent herself seemed utterly in shock. She turned to Frederick. “And you’re okay with this?”

Frederick stopped. “I… no. Yes? I don’t know.” He ran his fingers through his hair and turned to Hannah. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

“I am.”

Frederick sighed, then paused and turned to Maleficent. “Would it be possible for me to split the cost with her?”

Before Maleficent answered, Isaac crept away. He wasn’t sure what to make of it all; he needed to think.

<-Rapunzel Previous

Rapunzel Next->

Most recently updated draft of Rapunzel, the Sleeping Beauty (potentially including unposted content)

Read More
Rapunzel, 2022, Nanowrimo 2022 Nathaniel Cloud Rapunzel, 2022, Nanowrimo 2022 Nathaniel Cloud

28 November 2022

“But you’re my family, too.”

Tower couldn’t respond for a moment. Then he swept her in a hug. “Thank you.” When he pulled back, he stared straight into her eyes. “But isn’t that all the more reason for me to do this?”

Aurora bit her lower lip, then looked over to Isaac. He just watched her, and when their eyes met he nodded to her once. He trusted her; the decision was hers.

And here it is. The last piece of the climax. With this I could officially say I’d written the whole story from start to finish, and had a working draft. There was one scene that felt incomplete that I added to to finish off my last two days, but this was the moment it all came together.

As for the climax itself…I’m not sure. I really enjoyed all the different emotions at play here, and I hope I was able to express them well. It surprised me how anti-climactic the actual moment was, though. I don’t know that I want to change that, even if it’s possible; a lot of major life events are small, simple, anti-climactic things, I think.

…gathered. “In particular, you want to see how viable it would be to use some facet of my existence to replace the curse now afflicting the king and queen?”

Maleficent nodded. “I believe that has the best chance of making this solution work. However, even then…”

“Indeed. I do not have a close enough connection to the rest of Aurora’s family, or anyone else whose life was affected, to impact them the same way the curse has. Additionally, the risks of unraveling are too great.” He stroked his beard. “However, if, rather than replacing the curse, you just wanted to divert it again, you would only need the target to be someone close to Aurora.”

Maleficent pressed her lips into a thin line. She looked over to the corner where Aurora sulked in a corner, arms folded. “She’s not going to like that. And things have not exactly been easy for her, recently.”

“No, they haven’t. And you’re right, she won’t.” The Tower’s gaze followed Maleficent’s to Aurora. “By chance, could I beg of you to lend Aurora your ears? I’d like to speak with her about it.”

Maleficent nodded, and pulled a piece of her own hearing to lend to Aurora.

“She’s not going to like that. And things have not exactly been easy for her, recently.”

As soon as Aurora heard those words, especially with the way Maleficent and Tower looked at her, ice crawled up her back. It was like a claw squeezed her heart. What were they talking about?

Then Maleficent pulled something out of her ear and sent it to Aurora.

All of a sudden, Aurora could hear things that she didn’t even know had sounds; the echoes of moonlight off the rain-soaked grass, for example, or the secrets that whispered from the corners of the room. Thankfully, it wasn’t nearly as overwhelming as the faerie sight had been, and Aurora was able to tune most of it out. She focused on the Tower. “What’s going on?”

“We have a way to save your parents,” Maleficent said. “But that doesn’t mean the solution doesn’t come with complications of its own.”

“Well, what is it?”

The Tower interjected. “I will be the one to take on the curse.”

For a second Aurora couldn’t breathe. Then she began to shake her head as she said, “No. No! That’s not a solution. We’re just passing the curse around again. There’s… there’s got to be a way to fix it.”

“Aurora…” Maleficent began, but Aurora ignored her.

“We still had that replacement idea, right?”

“Aurora.” The Tower, this time.

“Or… or we could find someone random. A criminal. Someone on death row. If we have to give someone the curse, might as well be–”

Aurora.” Tower’s voice was soft but insistent.

Aurora looked up at him, and tears flowed down her cheeks.

Tower kneeled down in front of her and placed a hand on her shoulder. “This is the only other option. This is the best way.”

Aurora shook her head. “Please, don’t go. I can’t lose you, too.”

Tower smiled at her, though tears filled his eyes, as well. “I’m old. So old I don’t even know how old I am. And look at me.” He gestured to his transparent body. “I’m not even truly a part of reality anymore. It’s time for me to move on.” He looked over to her parents. “I’ve been blessed to watch over you these last sixteen years; they’ve only had a chance to be with you a few days. They still have full lives ahead of them; so please, let me go, so you can be with your real family.”

“But you’re my family, too.”

Tower couldn’t respond for a moment. Then he swept her in a hug. “Thank you.” When he pulled back, he stared straight into her eyes. “But isn’t that all the more reason for me to do this?”

Aurora bit her lower lip, then looked over to Isaac. He just watched her, and when their eyes met he nodded to her once. He trusted her; the decision was hers.

She clenched her eyes shut and took a deep breath. “Okay. Okay, then.”

Tower stood up and stepped back. Over by the bed, however, Maleficent had an apologetic expression. “There is one more thing, however.”

Both Aurora and the Tower looked at her. Maleficent sighed, then tried to pick up some of the Tower’s threads. “I cannot touch his fate. You have to be the one to do this, Aurora.”

Once Aurora’s brain caught up with what she was hearing, all she could do was give a dry laugh. If she botched this, she’d be responsible for the death of literally every parental figure she ever had. Even if it worked, she’d be responsible for half their deaths. She curled into a ball and wept into her knees for a moment.

Isaac reached out for her, but Aurora waved him off. “I’ll be alright, just give me a moment.” She took a deep breath, then stood and walked over beside Maleficent. “Alright. What do I need to do?”

Maleficent walked her through it, and Aurora, very delicately, shifted the bump representing the curse through until it only diverted the Tower’s silver string away from the rest.

When she finally finished and pulled away, Tower was already starting to flicker. Black streaks spiderwebbed up his face from his neck. Despite all that, he seemed utterly at peace. “Farewell, little one. I’m grateful my last few years of existence could be spent watching you frow up. I’m so proud of you.”

A fresh wave of tears spilled across Aurora’s cheeks. “Me, me too! Thank you for raising me!”

The Tower nodded and waved, and finally he disappeared. Aurora sank to her knees.

Isaac moved to comfort her, but before he could reach her, Hannah and Frederick stirred and began to sit up. Hannah, in particular, seemed a little confused, but as soon as she saw Aurora weeping she jumped out of bed and held her tight. Aurora turned and began sobbing into Hannah’s chest.

Frederick moved more slowly. As she stood, he looked between Aurora, Isaac, and Maleficent. “What happened?”

Isaac wasn’t sure what to say. “There was… a tower. Aurora’s tower, where she grew up. It was… alive somehow.”

“Alive enough to offer his existence in exchange for yours.” Maleficent wiped a tear from the corner of her eye. “All so Aurora would have a chance to know you.”

Hannah’s eyes widened, and she hugged Aurora closer and kissed the top of her head. Frederick spread his arms around both of them, and Isaac moved in and leaned against his mom. Maleficent dipped her head and left the room, and they stayed there for a very long time.

<-Rapunzel Previous

Rapunzel Next->

Most recently updated draft of Rapunzel, the Sleeping Beauty (potentially including unposted content)

Read More
Rapunzel, 2022, Nanowrimo 2022 Nathaniel Cloud Rapunzel, 2022, Nanowrimo 2022 Nathaniel Cloud

27 November 2022

As you might be able to tell, I was very much still struggling with the climax last Sunday. And it was Sunday anyway, and I’d gotten sucked into an old game I was replaying, so… There’s not much here.

As you might be able to tell, I was very much still struggling with the climax last Sunday. And it was Sunday anyway, and I’d gotten sucked into an old game I was replaying, so… There’s not much here.

“Good afternoon. I believe this is the first time we’ve formally met; I am the Tower. Up until recently, I could be considered young Aurora’s primary guardian.”

Maleficent raised an eyebrow. She’d known the Tower had developed some measure of sentience; she hadn’t realized it was so human under the surface. That created all sorts of implications, and Maleficent’s mind buzzed with all sorts of theories sparked by the Tower’s existence. She would have loved nothing more than to sit him down somewhere and pick his brain for information, but this wasn’t the time for that. “How well do you understand what we’re attempting?”

“Well enough, I believe.” He strode over to peer more closely at the threads Maleficent had gathered.

<-Rapunzel Previous

Rapunzel Next->

Most recently updated draft of Rapunzel, the Sleeping Beauty (potentially including unposted content)

Read More
Rapunzel, 2022, Nanowrimo 2022 Nathaniel Cloud Rapunzel, 2022, Nanowrimo 2022 Nathaniel Cloud

26 November 2022

Once they’d all returned to the capital - for the most part via carriage - King Frederick and Queen Hannah declared the date they reunited with Aurora to be a national holiday. They formally accepted Venwald as an ally, and lauded Queen Brynne (or Maleficent) as a friend and hero. For the next two weeks, the capital celebrated like it never had before.

I tried so hard to figure out the climax and how it all fits together, and it just wasn’t coming together for me yet. So I decided to switch to something else, and I wrote the epilogue.

Honestly, I’m not sure I’m satisfied with it. The epilogue, I mean. It feels a bit too dry, and there’s also this nagging sensation that I’ve forgotten something. Not Phillip; at the time, I’d intentionally left him out so anyone who shipped him with Aurora could be free to do so. There’s still things I could figure out and say about him, though.

“Perhaps. But this is not the time for that, you are right. My apologies.” Maleficent turned back to the weaving. “There is one other thought I considered. If we found a way to replace the curse with something else, we might be able to choose something to tie things together rather than split them off. Even if we were to find something, however, it would be incredibly subtle and detailed work, and the risks are immense; if we handle this poorly, it would be as catastrophic as simply removing the curse, if not worse.”

“Well… what could we replace it with?” Isaac asked. “And what would that mean for us?”

“To be honest, I was still looking for the right materials and methods.” She fingered a deep blue thread. “I’d considered using Gothel’s threads, but even if she were yet alive, she is too wrapped up in all this, and too present in the real world, for that to be a viable option.”

Aurora looked back at the tapestry, and the silver thread that connected to the mini tower. “Is that why you were interested in this? Would Tower’s thread work?”

Maleficent shrugged. “That is one reason for my interest, though not the only reason. And it is a possibility; however, I do not know what the ramifications might be, either for the tower or for all of us.”

Aurora bit her lower lip, then held the tower figurine up and pushed her will into it. It glowed with violet light, and then expanded to cover the far wall with a new, stone one. A doorway opened in the center, and the more humanoid form of the Tower walked out. Unlike last time Aurora spoke with him, he was translucent, as though he wasn’t truly there.

He bowed to Maleficent, and Aurora could tell from his lips he was introducing himself to her. However, Aurora could hear nothing.


Once they’d all returned to the capital - for the most part via carriage - King Frederick and Queen Hannah declared the date they reunited with Aurora to be a national holiday. They formally accepted Venwald as an ally, and lauded Queen Brynne (or Maleficent) as a friend and hero. For the next two weeks, the capital celebrated like it never had before.

Before she left, around a month later, Maleficent made a point to spend time with Isaac, teaching him how to make sense of the things he could see now. In particular, she taught him how to recognize what it looked like when people lied to him, or when they were trying to skirt around the truth. When Frederick and Hannah stepped down and bequeathed him the throne, almost two decades later, that ability served him well, and he was known far and wide for generations as one of the most just and honest kings in all the land.

Hannah continued visiting Queen Brynne every year, though it was always after Aurora’s birthday now that she’d returned. The people of Venwald all spoke of how much the queen had softened due to Hannah’s influence, and Maleficent herself was surprised at the increased respect the people offered her. Nevertheless, there came a day, after Queen Hannah started getting old, when Maleficent appointed one of her counselors as ruler in her stead, and she vanished. No one knew where she went or what she was up to.

Fairies were, understandably, unwelcome in any of the western kingdoms after everything that had happened. They’d already been viewed with skepticism after Aurora had been kidnapped, but after the events surrounding her return to Lowenveil’s royal family, and all the stories she and her family told of Gothel (particularly her transformation into a dragon), the western kingdoms redoubled their stance.

As for Aurora, she lived a happy and full life, short as it was. Artists and connoisseurs from all over the known world came to see her work, and her fame grew, not only for her skill but also her temper. More than one foolish young man had come expecting a demure and sickly artiste, and experienced the ire of the firebrand princess.

She became particularly known for her portraits and figure paintings, in a variety of styles. However, it was near universally agreed on that her most famous piece, and likely the best, was the one that hung above her mantel, depicting a tall, thin man with steel-gray hair in a charcoal suit. Art critics from all over the world debated who the figure might be, or what he might represent, but Aurora never shared.

She had a mansion built in the forest at the site where the remains of the Tower had been. Frederick gifted her the forest and its environs as her personal fiefdom, and named her a grand duchess after she formally seceded from the line of succession. It was there she raised her family, after she got married. She had three children, and finally passed away giving birth to the third. Despite her weakness, she was perpetually optimistic, and her only regret when she died was that her children would grow up without their mother.

<-Rapunzel Previous

Rapunzel Next->

Most recently updated draft of Rapunzel, the Sleeping Beauty (potentially including unposted content)

Read More
Rapunzel, 2022, Nanowrimo 2022 Nathaniel Cloud Rapunzel, 2022, Nanowrimo 2022 Nathaniel Cloud

25 November 2022

“Well, turns out fate-spinning is really dangerous. Like, ‘erase everything out of existence’ kind of dangerous. Though, it’d be much more likely I’d just erase myself.”

Isaac’s lips pressed into a thin line. “Let me guess. You tried anyway, and that’s how you got ‘stuck in time’.”

“Basically. Maleficent actually tried to stop me. She didn’t want me to risk my life like that or something. And nothing else I tried to get past her worked, so…” She shrugged and pulled her shoulders in. “One more for the list of screw-ups for the great Aurora Lowenveil.”

Coming up with rules for magic is hard. I don’t know how Brandon Sanderson does it, and does it so well. I actually figured out a lot of rules for fate-spinning here, and in particular I came up with the idea the death doesn’t cut peoples “strings” of fate; it just splits them off to go somewhere else. That fits in nicely with my beliefs, and made it easier to conceptualize what the curse might look like to someone who can visualize fate. I felt fairly proud of that, but I still have a lot of work to do to figure out the limits of fate-spinning, how everything works, and how exactly that ties into the witches’ ability to steal things, or the fairy gifts that created them in the first place.

(While Isaac and Aurora are talking after Gothel’s death)

For a moment, Isaac didn’t respond. Then he said simply, “Thank you, by the way. If it weren’t for you, I’d be dead.”

Aurora wiped her eyes. “Huh?”

He nodded over toward the alleyway, not far from where she’d first arrived. “I had nowhere to go, nowhere to hide. I was about to be roasted alive. And then you showed up, with that Tower wall.” He scrunched his eyebrows together. “How did that work, by the way? I mean, you literally appeared out of thin air. And I thought the Tower was, well, a tower. It can move?”

“Oh, right.” Aurora reached into a pocket and pulled out a figure of a tower. “While I was stuck in time, I actually met him. The Tower, I mean. He gave me this. He’s the one that helped me get back to the real world.”

Isaac froze. “Stuck in time? Back to the real world?”

Right. He wouldn’t know about that, would he? “So… I was headed over to use fate-spinning to break the curse on our parents, right?”

“Right.”

“Well, turns out fate-spinning is really dangerous. Like, ‘erase everything out of existence’ kind of dangerous. Though, it’d be much more likely I’d just erase myself.”

Isaac’s lips pressed into a thin line. “Let me guess. You tried anyway, and that’s how you got ‘stuck in time’.”

“Basically. Maleficent actually tried to stop me. She didn’t want me to risk my life like that or something. And nothing else I tried to get past her worked, so…” She shrugged and pulled her shoulders in. “One more for the list of screw-ups for the great Aurora Lowenveil.”

Isaac sat down. The smile he’d worn ever since they’d beaten the dragon had long since faded away. The weight of the world settled on his shoulders, and his face sank into his palms. Then he looked up, a curious expression on his face. “I wonder if that’s what she’s been up to.”

“Huh? Who? Up to what?”

“Maleficent. There are these… golden threads I can see sometimes now, that connect all of us together. The past few days, she’s been messing with them, D’you think she’s trying to break the curse herself?”

Aurora stood suddenly, feeling more alive than she had in ages. “That… that’s it.” She took off running for the inn.


(While Aurora is stuck in time, talking with the Tower)

… enjoyed so much? And that’s not all. How many people - witches, if you will - have ever successfully stolen from a fairy? Is there anyone besides you and Maleficent?”

Aurora leaned her head against him. “But what good does that do? Even with gothel’s eyesight. Isaac’s been overwhelmed with all the things he can see now, and he can’t understand it, and I can’t help him because I don’t even know what he’s seeing.” She chuckled bitterly. “Not that it matters anyway. I’m stuck here now.” She glanced up at Tower’s face. “At least I have decent company.”

“Don’t worry about Isaac. He’s smart; he’ll figure it out in time, and it will be surprisingly useful during his reign as king.” Tower stroked Aurora’s head. “As for being stuck here, well. I can probably do something about that.”

Aurora frowned. “How?”

“I have my ways.” Tower gave her a knowing grin, then turned more serious. “I know things are difficult right now. If you really can’t bear to deal with it anymore, you are free to stay with me as long as you like.” He clasped her hands in his. “But don’t you remember? In all those stories you used to read, there’s always a darkest hour. The night is darkest just before the dawn. Things will get better.’

From his suit coat pocket he pulled out a small figurine of a tower and pressed it into her hands. “Know that whatever happens, I will always be with you. I’m so proud of you.”

Tears started flowing down Aurora’s cheeks again. She hugged him tight. “Thank you.”

He reached out and grabbed what looked like the finest golden thread. “Are you ready?”

Aurora nodded. Tower pulled the thread, and time moved again.



(After convincing Maleficent to let Aurora help her)

Maleficent led the pair upstairs to the room their parents lay in. She asked Aurora, “What do you know of the workings of fate?”

Aurora grimaced. “Less than I thought I did.”

The corners of Maleficent’s mouth twitched upwards. “At least you recognize that.” She looked over to Isaac. “And what about you, boy?”

Isaac shook his hand. “Is it connected to all the golden threads I see?”

Maleficent nodded. “Very good. Now, over here. What do you see?” She handed Isaac a glass lens, about a foot and a half in diameter, then angled it so he could focus on a space about a foot above his parents’ bodies.

“Woah.” Isaac stared for a little longer, then pointed at a specific spot. “Wait, what’s that?”

Aurora tried to angle herself so she could see, too, but no matter where she stood, even when she looked in the lens, she couldn’t see anything unusual. She bit her lower lip and backed away.

Maleficent glanced over, then asked Isaac, “May I share your sight with her? I’d like her to see this, as well, so she can understand what we’re trying to do.”

Isaac nodded, and Maleficent pinched at something in front of Isaac’s eye. She held whatever it was with the utmost delicacy. “Aurora, would you come a little closer, please?”

Aurora stepped up in front of her, and Maleficent guided whatever it was she held to her eyes. A moment later, and Aurora thought her eyes had exploded; bright threads of all colors streamed around them.

Aurora flinched back and blinked desperately. Isaac watched her from the side and commented, “Yeah, it takes some getting used to.”

Aurora took a deep breath and clenched her eyes shut for a moment. When she opened them again, things were somewhat back to normal. She could still see the threads, when she focused on them, but now she could clearly see the real world around her. When she looked at Maleficent, though, the witch-queen looked like a brilliant beacon of all kinds of colors. The magics and lives she’d taken, maybe?

Aurora squared her shoulders and stepped up beside Isaac. This time, when she peered through the glass, she saw a tapestry woven together. When she focused on the specific section Maleficent had pointed out, she saw a thin lump set crosswise from most of the threads, which diverted a handful of threads away from the tapestry entirely. “What’s with this weird bump, over here?” Aurora asked, as she moved in to look closer.

Maleficent sighed. “That’s the curse I placed on you as a baby. It was designed to separate you - along with the curse the fairies placed on you - away from the tapestry of reality. By killing you, in this case. But the important thing to understand is that this cord was placed in a way to separate some threads from everything else.”

“But… That bump’s been woven in,” Isaac said. “There’s threads running back and forth all over it.”

“Of course,” Maleficent replied. “That’s what makes this so hard. Think about it; is there any part of your life - either of your lives - my curse has not impacted in some way?”

Both Aurora and Isaac shook their heads.

“No, right? Even I’ve had my life changed drastically; see here.” She gestured to a large, multi-colored band of threads that bent sharply where the bump was at. “I never would have become such good friends with Hannah had she not stormed my castle, a year later, and demanded my reasons.” A ghost of a smile played at it her lips, but it vanished so quickly Aurora wondered if she’d imagined it. :That’s why we can’t simply remove it. It’s such a big part of who we are, doing that would unravel our very reality.”

“But then…” Aurora glanced over where her parents slept. “How did you…?”

“Very carefully.” Maleficent sighed. “In essence, I nudged it, so it pushed a different froup of threads up. That was extremely delicate work; in particular, positioning it so that neither of your parents died was quite the struggle.”

Aurora’s heart felt like it turned to lead. That’s why Maleficent hadn’t wanted Aurora messing with things. Especially when she couldn’t even see what she was doing. “So, is there anything we can do?”

“I’m still figuring that out.” Maleficent leaned over and stared intently at the bundle of threads. “The simplest answer would be to weave their threads back into the tapestry. However…”

Aurora brightened at first, then drew her eyebrows together. “What is it?”

Maleficent grimaced. “If I wanted to do that in a way that doesn’t cause any problems, they might remain asleep for the next hundred years. That, in itself, isn’t a problem; I have ways to preserve them, so they would not age or rot. But I do not think that is the life they would choose.”

Aurora bit her lower lip. Isaac studied the tapestry. “You said that was the only way that didn’t cause problems. What did you mean by that?”

Maleficent shrugged. “It would be possible to force it sooner. As early as tomorrow, in theory. But that starts pulling a lot of other threads out of alignment. Yours, especially.” She glanced over to Hannah’s face. “And considering Hannah’s motivations when she asked me to do this initially, I don’t think she’d appreciate it if I forced that cost on you two.”

“Even if we were willing? Even if we wanted it?” Aurora asked.

Maleficent glared at her. “I will not trample on Hannah’s wishes on this matter. That is not negotiable.”

Aurora frowned and retreated. How had the Tower woven her back in so simply, then? “I have a question.” She pulled out the tower figurine Tower had given her. “After our duel, when I was trapped between moments in time, my thread had been pulled free of reality, right? How hard would that have been to weave back in?”

Instead of answering her question, Maleficent stared at the figurine. A line of translucent silver thread Aurora had never noticed before ran from the figurine to the tapestry, and was closely tied to a series of blue and violet threads Aurora guessed represented her and Gothel.

“Where did you get this?” Maleficent raised a hand and lightly brushed it with her finger.

“In that other world, the space between seconds, I met him. The Tower, I mean. He gave me this, as a way to keep him close.”

“May I?”

Aurora handed the figure over, and Maleficent raised it to study it from every angle. “Fascinating.” She returned it to Aurora and asked, “This lets you summon parts of this Tower around you at any time, correct?”

“Yes.” Aurora looked a bit skeptical. “Does that matter for what we’re doing, though?”

<-Rapunzel Previous

Rapunzel Next->

Most recently updated draft of Rapunzel, the Sleeping Beauty (potentially including unposted content)

Read More
Rapunzel, 2022, Nanowrimo 2022 Nathaniel Cloud Rapunzel, 2022, Nanowrimo 2022 Nathaniel Cloud

24 November 2022

For a while, Isaac couldn’t find the words. “It’s like… I thought it’d be different, you know? I’ve searched for her for years. My whole life, in a way. I thought it’d be so amazing when we found her, and everyone would be happy, and… Instead, Mom and Dad are all but dead. My eyes are going to drive me insane, and technically, I should’ve been blind. And Aurora… Rapunzel…” He snorted. “Well, whatever I was expecting from my sister, she is not it.”

With a total of 2765 words, Thanksgiving was actually my most productive day this year for Nanowrimo. I was surprised, because my family had a fair amount going on that day, too. Not only that, but it took two hours or more to plan out the first half of the dragon fight with Gothel, during which time I got no words in, since it was all in the planning stage. Overall, I was quite pleased with myself after this.

I’ll probably add more specific notes to the sections below.

Rapunzel couldn’t believe her ears. “Wait… You’d still let me go?”

Isaac shrugged. “You’re as stubborn as I am. If you decide you’re going, you’ll go whether I let you or not. I just want to make sure you’re okay if you do.”

Rapunzel slumped back into the bed. She hadn’t expected that. She took a deep breath and winced, holding her side. Finally, she said, “It’d probably be a good idea to spend a few days, maybe even a week, for me to recover anyways. After that, if your - our - parents aren’t here yet, we can decide what to do then.”

Isaac heaved a sigh of relief. “Sounds like a plan.” He stood up. “I’ll let you rest, then. Do you want me to get you anything?”

Rapunzel’s stomach growled. “Breakfast would be nice. Or… whatever meal it would be right now, I guess.”

Isaac smiled wryly. “I’ll see what I can do.”


(After Phillip and Aurora have attracted the dragon, but before any dragon fights have started)

When Phillip returned a week later - and without Rapunzel, at that - Isaac was more than ready to tear into him. But the worry and urgency in Phillip’s expression made him pause.

Even before he’d fully dismounted, Phillip started trying to explain. “You’ve got… got to get everyone… out of here. Dragon… there’s a dragon coming.”

Isaac exchanged looks with Maleficent. “Dragon? Why? Where’s Rapunzel?”

Phillip put a hand on the wall to brace himself. He took a deep breath. “I think the dragon’s that fairy. Gothel?” At that name, Maleficent’s eyes narrowed, but she let Phillip continue. “She was hunting Aurora, so she used herself as bait and told me to come warn everyone.”

Isaac’s fists clenched. Logically, he knew they’d probably made the right call. But he still wanted to deck his friend for leaving his sister behind to face down a dragon alone. He looked over at Maleficent. “With your magic, would you e able to prepare any defenses? I want to keep the townsfolk safe while they’re evacuating, and, well…” He glanced over at the inn where his parents were located.

“I have a few things I can do about that.” Maleficent turned and got to work, though Isaac couldn’t be sure what she was planning.

Then he called General Conners over. “What do you suggest? I was thinking we should have half the men begin evacuating the citizens, and once they finish, have them set up within the village itself. I could join the other half outside the walls, to try and hold the dragon off as long as we could until the people are safe. We’d need ballistae for both sides.”

Conners saluted him and said, “My only concern, Your Majesty, is that it seems like you’re placing yourself too much at risk. We’ve already as good as lost the king and queen; what will happen to Lowenveil if you fall, too?”

Isaac grimaced. Then he shook his head. “I have to do this, General. For myself, if nothing else, and I think it’s important to show the people that I’m not afraid to stand with them when things get difficult.”

Conners looked like she had thoughts on the subject, but she kept them to herself. “Yes, sire!” She began shouting instructions, divvying up the soldiers into the two camps.

Isaac looked out toward the tower. If Rapunzel did come back, and she’d better, would she want to get involved in the fight, too? If Gothel was after her, Isaac wanted to make sure rapunzel was as far away from her as possible. Somewhere safe.

What if Rapunzel and Maleficent worked together? They were both witches, right? Isaac nodded to himself. That should work.

He watched with baited breath for any sign of his sister. He was so nervous, he almost didn’t react when a great wall of thorns sprouted up and surrounded the village, leaving only an opening at the gate.

Aurora didn’t recognize the village. Her father’s army had amassed outside of it, and somehow a great wall off thorns fifteen feet high had grown up all around it. Maleficent’s doing? Did she have a gift for growing plants?

She spotted Isaac and raced toward him. She could feel Gothel closing in on her, but Isaac gave a signal and a barrage of ballista bolts flew over Aurora’s head and impacted against the dragon.

Aurora pulled up next to Isaac. “I’m pretty sure that’s Gothel.” 

“I can see that.” He did seem to be looking at something specific within the dragon. A quirk of having Gothel’s eyesight, perhaps. “Maleficent’s taking care of our defenses; would you go help her?”

Aurora nodded, and walked through the gates in the hedge into the village. On her way, though, she got thinking. Would she get a better chance than this? Maleficent was busy, and no one else was around that would interfere.

She clutched her satchel, and headed for the inn. To her surprise, a second layer of thorns had wrapped themselves tightly around the building, even crawling up and covering the windows. She forced her way inside, only to find Maleficent…


It actually took me a long time to figure out what was going on with Aurora while she was trapped in time, or in the other dimension, or however you want to put it. At this point, all I knew for sure was that it ended with her speaking with the Tower. Then, I had an epiphany. If this happened because she messed with fate, isn’t it like she pulled herself out of alignment with fate? And since fate in this case means the things that happen to you, rather than what you will choose to do yourself (to distinguish between destiny), it means she can’t be affected by anything, but nor can she affect anything else.

…to get back?

She carefully walked past Maleficent and headed upstairs to the room they were keeping her parents. When she reached to open the door, however, her hand passed right through it, like nothing was there.

Aurora shuddered. Then she closed her eyes, braced herself, and stepped through the door.

There they were, asleep. Now, with time frozen, Aurora didn’t even have the rise and fall of their chests to confirm they were still alive. She steeled herself, and reached out to grab their threads of fate. Only… there was nothing to grab. Nothing at all.

Desperately, Aurora rushed over and tried to place her fingers on Hannah’s pulse, forgetting for a second that time had stopped. Only, it wasn’t even that Hannah had no pulse; when Aurora reached for her, her hand passed right through.

That’s when everything clicked for Aurora. She’d accidentally removed herself from fate; nothing could affect her, but she couldn’t affect anything else, either.

Dully, Aurora wandered around the village. She wasn’t sure how long she was at it; it was hard to tell time when nothing around you changed. It could have been fifteen minutes. It felt like days.

She mostly spent time in the room with her parents, though she often visited Isaac out on the battlefield, too. Aurora actually wished she had her paint supplies; she’d actually caught him at a good moment, and he looked quite kingly as he shouted something to his troops. She’d even found the perfect angle, where his outstretched arm framed dragon-Gothel as another round of bolts streaked toward her.

Eventually, though, she decided to go a little farther. She made her way back to the Tower, and was delighted to learn she didn’t get tired. Or hungry. Or randomly collapse because she’d pushed herself too hard. Soon, she started off running, and the feeling was so amazing she could almost forget how screwed she was.

Once she arrived, however, that all vanished. Because there was no more Tower. All that was left was half a wall, no taller than Aurora herself was, and a field of stone and rubble where Gothel, as a dragon, had burst out of it.


(First half of the fight with the dragon)

Isaac confirmed Aurora had made it inside, and then stared at the dragon. The dragon turned her head right and left, sniffing at the air; Isaac thought she seemed confused.

Then the dragon turned to Isaac and her nostrils flared. She roared and rushed toward him.

“Pikes!” Conners yelled, and the two squadrons of pikes, fifty strong each, charged forward from either side and halted her advance. Gothel swiped the claw of her left wing at them, but they managed to divert the attack.

From along the wall, the archers on either side of the gate fired a volley of arrows at the dragon. However, to Isaac’s chagrin, they all bounced off her scales. Isaac had seen those arrows punch through the finest steel armor; what the heck was her hide made out of?

The cavalry on either flank circled around, so they could charge in when an opportunity arose. Meanwhile, Isaac and his guards headed to the right, behind the second squad of pikemen.

Gothel tracked Isaac’s presence, flaring her nostrils now and then. Suddenly she lunged through the squad of pikemen to snap at him, and Isaac barely danced his horse far enough to the side to avoid her. He swung his sword at her face, but much like the archers before him, he was unable to pierce her hide.

“Have the archers retreat to the village!” he shouted, and Conners rushed to carry out his orders. Beside Isaac, the half of the second squadron of pikemen that had neither lost their weapon nor been critically injured split to either side of the dragon’s head and tried to spear her eyes; however, Gothel jerked her head up, beyond the reach of their pikes. The first squadron circled behind her to try to pin her down.

The four squadrons of spearmen repositioned, ready to rush in with their shields of need be. Behind them, two of the ballistae fired; one missed, but the one on the opposite side of the dragon from Isaac glanced a hit on her head, knocking her back a step.

Gothel roared and snapped her head the direction of the ballista, and Isaac saw threads of flame gathering in the back of her throat. His face turned white, and he screamed, “Fire! Get out of the way!”

The ballista crew got the message and barely managed to get away before a stream of flame turned the ballista to ashes. The squadron of spearmen between Gothel and the ballista, however, weren’t so lucky. They got their shields up in time, but many of the men at the front of their formation screamed as the shields in their hands superheated and burned the skin off their arms. A couple even fainted from the heat.

Isaac grimaced, and pulled back with the pikemen from the second squadron. That gave the first cavalry unit room to charge through, and drive their lances into Gothel’s flank. While none of them could pierce her, they were able to knock her off balance. This time, as well, Isaac finally noticed the streams of blue magic swirling under the dragons scales, and the way they focused wherever Gothel was getting attacked.

With a roar, Gothel swiped with her tail. While the cavalry had already cleared past her, the tail did smash into the other squadron of pikemen, and three or four of them flew into the air a ways.

Isaac scowled and ordered, “All pikemen, retreat! Spearmen and cavalry, cover them!”

Gothel cocked her head and turned back toward him. She roared, and Isaac caught a whiff of peppermint mixed with smoke and charcoal. She beat her wings, and the winds knocked him off his horse. He barely rolled out of the way before the claws on her right wing slammed down where he’d fallen.

Two more ballista bolts rocked into her, diverting her attention away from Isaac. She glared up at the one closest to her, and once again sucked in and prepared to spew flames.

“Here it comes again!” Isaac yelled. But before Gothel released it, the second cavalry unit charged in and drove her head up, and the flames blew harmlessly into the sky.

As they passed by, however, they got too close to Gothel’s tail, and with a single swipe she knocked a dozen horsemen off their horses.

A quick glance confirmed that most of the pikemen had finished retreating, other than those that couldn’t move. “Everybody, pull back!” Isaac called. “Behind the hedge!”

The cavalry rode off, and the spearmen locked shields and backed as quickly as they could toward the village gates. Isaac took one last look around, at all the dead and injured they had to leave behind, and cursed under his breath. Then he ran for the gate with everyone else.


This scene takes place just after Hannah and Frederick have sacrificed themselves. I was dissatisfied with the attention I’d given their grieving up to that point, and wanted to expand on it. The next two scenes are actually the bits I was most proud of today. I felt very happy with them.

Phillip knocked on Isaac’s door. When no one answered, Phillip cracked it and poked his head in.

The room was completely dark. No candles, and the shutters were closed, not that it mattered this time of night. Isaac himself sat on the bed, slouched over so his elbows rested on his knees, staring down at nothing.

“Yo! Still living?”

Isaac started. “Oh, it’s just you, Phillip.”

“Who else would I be?”

Isaac shrugged and returned to staring at the floor.

“What the heck are you doing all alone in the dark, anyway?”

Isaac clenched his eyes shut. “Ever since Aurora gave me that fairy’s sight, everything is… weird. I see things. Too many things. And none of it makes sense.” He flopped backward onto the bed. “Even without that, nothing makes sense.”

Phillip plopped onto the bed opposite him. “Wanna talk about it?”

For a while, Isaac couldn’t find the words. “It’s like… I thought it’d be different, you know? I’ve searched for her for years. My whole life, in a way. I thought it’d be so amazing when we found her, and everyone would be happy, and… Instead, Mom and Dad are all but dead. My eyes are going to drive me insane, and technically, I should’ve been blind. And Aurora… Rapunzel…” He snorted. “Well, whatever I was expecting from my sister, she is not it.”

He sat up and really looked at Phillip for the first time. “It’s like, the moment we found her, my whole life fell apart. Does that make sense?”

Phillip shrugged and nodded. “Yeah, I get that. Things kinda suck.” He leaned back. “Still, though, if things suck this bad for you, how much worse to they gotta be for her?”

Isaac’s brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”

“Well, think about it. You lost two parents, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Didn’t she just lose three? Maybe four, if you count the Tower. Heck, she blinded Gothel herself, and that was for your sake. It’s not like she wanted us to find her, either. You still have your home, your friends, everything else in life. What does she have?”

That hurt. Isaac didn’t want to admit it. He knew Phillip had a point, but didn’t he have a right to grieve, too?

Phillip let the silence rest for several minutes, then lay down to go to sleep. “It doesn’t gotta be right away. But sometime soon, you oughtta talk to her. You’re all the family either of you has left right now.”

Isaac didn’t get much sleep that night.

Aurora was heading outside when Isaac caught her. “Hey, I think we should talk.”

Now? Aurora sighed. She took a deep breath and nodded. “Okay.”

They headed out to a little meadow not far from town. Aurora watched Isaac and tried to figure out what this was about. He kept fiddling with his hands, or pacing back and forth.

Finally got fed up. “Is this about what happened with Mom and Dad?”

Isaac blanched, then nodded. “I’m just… still trying to process everything.”

Aurora nodded. They waited a moment longer, then Isaac sat down and looked at his hands clasped in front of him. “A lot has happened since we met. You blinded the mother you grew up with. I see things that make no sense. Our parents are so deeply asleep, they might as well be dead. I guess…” He sighed and looked up at Aurora. “I wondered how you were holding up.”

Aurora rubbed her arms. “I… I don’t know.” She looked at Isaac. “I was supposed to be dead right now. I’ve lived most of my life coming to terms with that. And now… that’s gone.” She laughed bitterly. “I’ve screwed everything up, haven’t I? It’s like I told you. It would’ve been better just to leave me in my Tower.”

For a very long time, Isaac didn’t answer. It struck Aurora that he might actually agree. She’d screwed up his life just as badly as she had her own, after all.

Eventually, he sighed. “Rapunzel–”

Aurora flinched, and he paused. When he didn’t continue right away, she asked, “Actually… Would you call me Aurora from now on? I know what I said before, but…”

Isaac’s eyes widened, but his expression softened into a smile. “Yeah, I can do that.”

After a moment, Aurora spoke again. “Sorry. About getting so… angsty, I guess? I just… I feel lost.”

Isaac scooched around and hugged her shoulders. “Well, you’re stuck with me, now. Like it or not, you’re kind of the only family I have left.”

Aurora chuckled and poked him in the side. “You don’t suppose they offer exchanges on little brothers somewhere, do they?”

They both laughed at that, and just enjoyed each other’s company in the afternoon sunlight.

<-Rapunzel Previous

Rapunzel Next->

Most recently updated draft of Rapunzel, the Sleeping Beauty (potentially including unposted content)

Read More
Rapunzel, 2022, Nanowrimo 2022 Nathaniel Cloud Rapunzel, 2022, Nanowrimo 2022 Nathaniel Cloud

23 November 2022

Once the dragon faded away and only Gothel remained, that’s when it really struck Aurora that this was real, it was really her.

Aurora walked over and pulled the sword out of Gothel’s back, then turned her body over so she could at least face the sky. Aurora’s heart churned. This was the woman she’d called “mother” for all those years. And she’d helped kill her.

Looking back over my notes, it seems this was right before I let myself relax about my old goal of 40k words, and made a new, more achievable goal to finish my draft before Nanowrimo ended. That helped things flow a lot better. This was also the day I realized I’d filled things in enough that I had to start making lists of what scenes or transitions I needed to write.

With the whole scenario around Aurora collapsing, I’m worried people will think I’m siding with Isaac, because he was “right” and Aurora did collapse. I don’t, necessarily. I think he kind of mishandled the situation; Aurora would have been much more amenable to the idea of staying put if he hadn’t approached it the way he had. This doesn’t excuse Aurora, either, of course. They’re both kind of dumb with this. But in a believable, “I can’t really blame them” kind of way. that said, I might make better use of the inherent time crunch of Aurora’s impending death to motivate her to at least see the castle once.

Then a wall slammed up into the dragon’s lower jaw from underneath, directing her attack away from Isaac and Phillip and providing them a shield. Aurora slid in from behind it and stopped beside Isaac. “I’m sorry, but nothing I’m trying seems to be working! She’s blocking my magic somehow!”

“Don’t worry, you’re helping plenty. Try to time your next attack just before the ballistae fire at her!” 

Aurora nodded, then moved away and tried to divert Gothel’s attention off of Isaac and Phillip. Isaac took the chance to look over his friend; he’d want a doctor to take a look just to be safe, but it seemed to be nothing more than a nasty concussion and a few broken ribs. At the very least, Phillip was still breathing.

Isaac heaved a sigh of relief and turned around just as a trio of ballista bolts dug into the dragon’s flank. The dragon screamed and swiped at Aurora in front of her, but Aurora diverted the attack with the Tower’s walls.

The blue humanoid core that was Gothel’s main self began backing away from Aurora, moving through the dragon’s body to somewhere closer to Isaac. Isaac quietly drew his sword and snuck closer, and when he got a chance, he drove his sword between the dragon’s scales directly into Gothel’s core self.

There was a momentary pause, and then the dragon began to writhe as blue smoke poured out from all its wounds. Isaac barely avoided the thing’s tail as it slammed the ground and buildings nearby.

Over the next ten to fifteen seconds, the form of the dragon shrank and faded away, leaving only a dark haired woman with Isaac’s sword in her back.

Isaac collapsed backwards and sat down next to Phillip, and just stared up at the sky. He couldn’t help the silly grin that spread over his face. They’d survived.

Once the dragon faded away and only Gothel remained, that’s when it really struck Aurora that this was real, it was really her.

Aurora walked over and pulled the sword out of Gothel’s back, then turned her body over so she could at least face the sky. Aurora’s heart churned. This was the woman she’d called “mother” for all those years. And she’d killed her.

Sure, Isaac was the one to actually do it. And at the time, Gothel was actively trying to kill Aurora, herself. But Aurora couldn’t help feeling guilty, and also that she’d just lost something very special to her.

She wasn’t sure if tears were mixed with the raindrops on her face. She wasn’t sure if Gothel deserved them if they were. Regardless, she wiped her face clean. “Whatever afterlife fairies might go to, if there even is one, I hope you’re at peace.” She closed Gothel’s eyes, then shifted so she held her knees tight against her chest.

Isaac watched her, and after a few moments passed, he asked, “What’s on your mind?”

Aurora shrugged. “I guess it feels like I’m a bad luck charm. Or worse. At least when it comes to parents. Frederick and Hannah are in a deep coma, and might never wake up. The Tower was ripped apart when Gothel came to chase after me. And as for Gothel herself, well…” She gestured to the corpse next to her. “It kind of makes you wonder, doesn’t it?”


(After escaping the Tower, as Gothel is turning into a dragon, in the version where they don’t see it happen)

The trip back was relatively uneventful. They spent most of the journey chatting about random thigs, especially the King Arthur novel series. Phillip recommended a few other novels as well, which Aurora intended to read once they got back home.

Aurora and Phillip could almost see the castle walls when a large shadow passed overhead. They looked up, and their eyes nearly bugged out when they saw the deep blue dragon soaring above them. “What the heck is it now?” Phillip said.

Then it landed a few hundred feet from them and began to swing its head left and right, sniffing at the air. When she looked more closely, Aurora realized that its eyes were milky white, and a horrible conclusion occurred to her. “Gothel?

As soon as she spoke, the dragon’s head fixated on her. Only a moment later, Aurora and Phillip urged their horses to rush to the side, just before a blast of fire tore through the space they’d just been standing in.

“You run ahead and warn the city,” Aurora yelled. “Tell Isaac; he can summon the army and evacuate people or something!”

“What about you?” Phillip shouted back.

“I’ll keep her distracted,” Aurora replied. “It’s me she wants anyway!”

Phillip looked like he’d just bitten something extraordinarily bitter, but he nodded and wheeled his horse around. “If you die, Isaac and Maleficent are both gonna kill me. So don’t die!”

“Don’t plan on it!”

And with that, Phillip rode off.

The next hour or so felt like an eternity. Aurora pulled every trick she could think of to dodge, distract, and outrun the dragon-Gothel. Eventually, she decided her luck was running thin, and she made a break for the northern gates of the capital.

(After Aurora has left the Tower, on their way to the capital)

An hour later, though, and that tightness had turned to chest pain. Rapunzel started coughing here and there, though she did her best to hide it. Still, it wasn’t too long before Isaac pulled back alongside her. “Are you alright?”

Rapunzel faked a smile. “Yeah, I’ll be…” She coughed into her fist, then continued. “I’ll be fine.”

Isaac gave her a worried look. “Are you sure? We can stop and take a break, if you need us to.”

Rapunzel paused, then glanced down the road. “How far to the next town?”

Isaac looked over to Phillip, who replied, “It’s about a half hour. Maybe forty-five minutes.”

“I should be good until then.” Rapunzel started hacking again, then smiled weakly at Isaac. “But maybe once we get there, we should stop and rest for a while.”

“Alright.” There was clear doubt in Isaac’s eyes, but he didn’t press the issue, and pulled ahead again.

Now that he wasn’t watching for a moment, Rapunzel grimaced and clutched at her chest. “Thirty minutes, I only have to last thirty minutes.”

Her vision started to go white, but Rapunzel was so focused on staying conscious she didn’t notice. Then something hard crashed into her right side, and it took Rapunzel a moment to realize she’d fallen off her horse. The last thing she saw was Isaac jumping off his horse and running toward her, and then everything went black.

When she woke up, Rapunzel wasn’t sure where she was or what was happening. After a moment, however, she vaguely remembered falling off her horse; this must be an inn room somewhere. She sat up and looked around.

Isaac sat in a far corner of the room. He looked sullen, and bags had started to form under his eyes.

Rapunzel bit her lip. She was almost afraid to call out to him. “H-hey.”

Isaac’s eyes snapped to hers, and first shock, and then relief washed over his face. Then his expression hardened, and he glared at her; really glared, not the exasperated kind he’d given her during their banter while she was in the Tower. “Why didn’t you say something?”

Rapunzel wasn’t sure what to say. “I… I guess I didn’t want to worry you.”

There was a beat where he didn’t respond. Then he threw up his hands and said sarcastically, “Well, that worked wonderfully!” He ran his fingers through his hair. “I even asked you about it. You said you were fine.”

“I know. I know, it’s just… I wanted to prove I could do it, you know? Even without Gothel’s magic keeping me ‘healthy’.”

Isaac gestured to her and the bed. “Well, apparently, you can’t.”

Rapunzel flinched and shrank into herself. She wanted to argue, but what could she say? Here she was. He was right.

Isaac saw the expression on her face, and his own softened. “I’m sorry. That’s not… It’s not what I meant.”

“But it’s the truth.” Rapunzel couldn’t quite keep the pout out of her voice.

Isaac scowled. He took a deep breath. “So what do you want to do? If you do still want to keep pushing forward, we’ll need to come up with a plan to make sure you’re not pushing yourself too hard. But if you want to stay and wait here, that works, too.”

<-Rapunzel Previous

Rapunzel Next->

Most recently updated draft of Rapunzel, the Sleeping Beauty (potentially including unposted content)

Read More
Rapunzel, 2022, Nanowrimo 2022 Nathaniel Cloud Rapunzel, 2022, Nanowrimo 2022 Nathaniel Cloud

22 November 2022

Isaac darted through an alleyway to try and regroup with the soldiers stationed in the plaza nearby. Gothel landed on the remains of the tailor’s shop, causing it to collapse, and after sniffing the air, she pointed her snout straight down the alleyway after Isaac. Her jaws opened, and Isaac could see the flicker in the back of her throat that signaled her flame breath.

Battle scenes are both a lot of fun, and really difficult to write well, I think.

This one’s interesting, because while I was planning out the other half of this battle, the stuff that happened before Isaac headed into town, I came up with a whole bunch of other thoughts and ideas how this could go that might make it so much better. For example, what is Maleficent doing? Why is she prioritizing that over a freaking dragon, especially when that dragon is one of her personal enemies? So I plan on getting Maleficent involved. (In the first half I have a couple excuses ready, but they don’t hold up for the second half.) There’s a few other quirks, too. So while I am moderately proud of this scene, the final version will look nothing like this.

Isaac raced back through the main gate. How were they going to kill this thing? Could you even kill a fairy turned dragon?

As he ran, he watched in horror as dragon Gothel swooped overhead and crashed into the main office of the city watch, where one of the ballistae had been firing at her. The soldiers he’d stationed east of the gate began firing arrows at her but the vast majority bounced off her scales, and the few that didn’t only served to annoy her further.

Gothel roared, then summoned her fire breath into the city at the archers. Isaac didn’t have a good view; he hoped the soldiers had been able to find cover.

As Isaac kept running down the main street, a trio of ballista bolts flew and hit the dragon. In response, Gothel roared and beat her wings. Just when it looked like she would dive for the ballista on top of the merchants’ guild headquarters, though, Isaac called out, “Oi, you dumb lizard! Over here!”

Gothel’s head snapped to him; her nostrils flared as she tried to pinpoint his exact location.

Isaac turned off onto one of the side streets to the west, past a cobbler’s shop. A moment later, he was showered in shoes and splinters and Gothel burst through the roof and out the front wall to snap at him.

Her teeth missed him by inches when he fell, and Isaac rolled back to his feet and took off running. He curled around behind the tailor’s shop as the soldiers released another barrage of arrows, and another round of ballista bolts slammed against the scales on her back, cracking a few of them.

As Isaac watched, however, blue streams of Gothel’s magic flowed under the cracked scales and repaired them. Isaac cursed under his breath.

He didn’t have long to consider the implications, though, as Gothel unleashed her fire breath right at him. It torched the tailor’s shop, and Isaac had to back away from the building because of the heat.

He darted through an alleyway to try and regroup with the soldiers stationed in the plaza nearby. Gothel landed on the remains of the tailor’s shop, causing it to collapse, and after sniffing the air, she pointed her snout straight down the alleyway after Isaac. Her jaws opened, and Isaac could see the flicker in the back of her throat that signaled her flame breath.

[Aurora’s entrance]

Isaac felt so overwhelmed all he could do was laugh. When he could speak again, he said, “We can’t get through her scales. If you have some way to weaken her defenses or even divert her magic away from protecting herself, that would be amazing.”

“Can do.” Aurora nodded, and then began riding her bit of the Tower as it flowed around to Gothel’s other side, to try to lead her back toward the walls. “Oi! It’s me again! I’m over here!”

Gothel spun around, and her tail smashed through a couple of the nearby houses. For the first time during the battle, Isaac could understand what she was saying when she roared, “Rapunzel!”

Isaac ducked to avoid the debris, and made it to the plaza where the rest of the army had set up. He found Conners there, and told her, “Aurora is going to try to weaken the dragon’s defenses. On my signal, fire everything we’ve got at her.”

“Yes, sire!” As Conners motioned to spread the orders, another round of bolts slammed into the back of the dragon’s head, to no avail.

Isaac made eye contact with Aurora and nodded, raising hes fist. She nodded back, and her eyes began to flare purple as she reached out to Gothel.

Gothel roared at Aurora, and her magic condensed into a barrier between them. Recognizing the chance, Isaac swung his fist down, and a rain of arrows pierced Gothel’s hide, actually doing some damage.

Just then, on the other side of the dragon, Isaac saw Phillip rushing in to rejoin the fight. Isaac’s eyes widened and he shouted, “What are you doing?”

He didn’t know whether Phillip couldn’t hear him or just ignored him, but either way, he charged in and plunged his sword into the back of Gothel’s hind leg.

Gothel roared in pain, and slammed her tail into Phillip, smashing him into the building. She spun toward him as Isaac rushed to his side, and lunged toward them, teeth bared, before Isaac could even check his vitals.

<-Rapunzel Previous

Rapunzel Next->

Most recently updated draft of Rapunzel, the Sleeping Beauty (potentially including unposted content)

Read More
Rapunzel, 2022, Nanowrimo 2022 Nathaniel Cloud Rapunzel, 2022, Nanowrimo 2022 Nathaniel Cloud

21 November 2022

When the witch-queen finally saw her, her eyes widened, and she slowly walked up to Aurora. Aurora bit her lower lip and looked away. Maleficent slapped her and said, “You foolish, foolish girl!”

Before Aurora could protest, however, she was shocked to see tears in Maleficent’s eyes. She pulled Aurora into a hug and whispered, “I thought we’d lost you forever.”

Looking over this, it kind of seems like I was all over the place. Bouncing from one scene to another. Part of that has to do with the fact that as we’re getting close to the end of the month, I actually have been really close to wrapping up the first draft, which makes this more of a novella than a novel I suppose. And due to the disjointed way I approached the project, I needed to take time to fill in the gaps between scenes. There is some new stuff, of course; Aurora’s second confrontation with Maleficent, for example, right as we hit the climax.

Isaac grit his teeth, as he knelt behind a fragment of the wall. How many men had he lost already? Was there anything he could do about the dragon’s fire breath?

The dragon sniffed the air again, and turned to look right at him. She began to suck in, and Isaac knew this was the end. There was no way he’d be able to get away in time. He sighed in resignation; while he didn’t regret anything, he did wish his citizens didn’t have to be the ones to pay the price.

Right before the dragon released her fire breath, however, a transparent, violet-colored image of a stone wall appeared between him and the dragon, then materialized into stone right as the flames hit. Isaac watched in awe as they bore the brunt of the flames without any signs of melting or burning.

On Isaac’s side of the new wall, it shifted to form a door, which opened to reveal Aurora looking quite proud of herself. She grinned at Isaac then turned to stare up at the dragon. “What do you need us to do?”

(Near the climax, after the second half of the dragon fight)

Aurora was incredibly apprehensive as she approached the fortress of thorns and roses. When she finally stepped inside, she found Maleficent focusing intently on some magic.

It took a moment for Maleficent to notice her presence. When the witch-queen finally saw her, her eyes widened, and she slowly walked up to Aurora. Aurora bit her lower lip and looked away. Maleficent slapped her and said, “You foolish, foolish girl!”

Before Aurora could protest, however, Maleficent dropped to her knees in front of Aurora, and Aurora was shocked to see tears in her eyes. She pulled Aurora into a hug and whispered, “I thought we’d lost you forever.”

“I’m sorry.”

Maleficent pulled back. “You understand, though, right? How dangerous fate-spinning is. I still cannot let you do this.”

“What if I had help?” Aurora gestured, and a mini Tower formed beside her.

Maleficent looked surprised, and considered the idea for a moment. Finally, though, she shook her head. “The risks are still far too great.”

She turned to leave, and Aurora had to force herself to keep calm. Then she called after Maleficent, “If there’s no hope in saving them, why did you keep them alive?”

Maleficent turned to her, one eyebrow raised. Aurora took a deep breath and continued, “I think somewhere, deep down, you’re hoping they can be saved. Maybe you’re even planning on saving them yourself.”

(After Aurora reunites with Frederick, when they’ve said Gothel is harmless)

Frederick frowned and turned to Conners. “Your thoughts?”

Conners thought for a moment. “Isaac’s always had a good head on his shoulders, and I would assume your daughter is similar. That said, it might not be a bad idea to leave a small contingent of men nearby to keep a watch on the forest, just to be safe.”

Frederick nodded to her. “Make it happen.”

Conners saluted and began ordering her men around. Frederick gestured to Rapunzel and Isaac. “Shall we head in? We have a lot to talk about.”

Conversation was incredibly awkward at first. Rapunzel had no idea what to say to the king, and Frederick looked just as lost as she was. There were a few false starts, from both sides, and Isaac did his best to bridge the gap, but both Rapunzel and the king were too self-conscious to relax and let the conversation flow.

Eventually, Frederick asked, “So… What are your plans going forward?”

Rapunzel bit her lip. Plans? For what? Three days from now? She had to take a minute to calm herself down. “Well, first off, I’d like to formally remove myself from the line of succession, if that hasn’t already been taken care of.”

Frederick nodded. “May I ask your reasons?”

“There are two main ones. First, Isaac’s trained all his life to take your place as king, correct?” Frederick and Isaac both nodded, and Rapunzel continued. “I haven’t. I’ve been living in the Tower my whole life. That alone would be reason enough. However…” A ghost of a smile flit across her features. “If I am, somehow, alive here in another week, I’m not exactly going to be in any condition to rule.”

Frederick grimaced. “So you are aware of that, at least.”

Rapunzel nodded, and Frederick sank, like the weight of the world had just settled on his shoulders. “Well, at least we get to have a few days together, right?”

“Yeah.” Rapunzel wasn’t sure how to respond to that.

They continued talking for the next few hours. Rapunzel talked about her paintings, and the Tower and everything it did to take care of her. She tried to make a point to avoid talking about Gothel too much, especially some of her…issues. Frederick talked about the kingdom and his goals for it a bit, but mostly he talked about Isaac and Hannah and their life together, including a number of embarrassing stories, to Isaac’s chagrin. Isaac himself would interject here and there, and sometimes gave as good as he got.

Just as the sun began to set, a woman burst in, with wavy, dark brown hair. It took Rapunzel a moment to recognize her as Queen Hannah.

“Mom!?” Isaac stood, shock written all over his face. “How did you get here so fast? You were two weeks away; I didn’t think you were going to make it!”

“I had help,” Hannah replied. She dipped her head to her husband, and then walked over to Rapunzel and rested a hand on her cheek. She stared deep into Rapunzel’s eyes for a long moment. Then Hannah smiled and hugged Rapunzel tight.

Rapunzel wasn’t really sure if she should reciprocate or not. Before she decided to return the hug, Hannah pulled back and smiled at her. “It’s so good to see you.”

Rapunzel broke eye contact and looked at the floor. “I’m sorry. I know you guys are my parents, and you’ve been searching for me for ages. I know you love me. But… It’s all a bit surreal, to me. I don’t really know you yet.”

“That’s alright, sweetie. Take your time.” Then Hannah’s face fell, as if she, too, just remembered time was something Rapunzel didn’t have a lot of,

To Rapunzel’s surprise, though, rather than getting depressed or weepy, Hannah’s expression grew determined. “Well, for now, we’ll do what we can, alright? Tell me if your father or I start acting too familiar.”

Rapunzel gave her an awkward smile. “Alright.”

(Returning to the climax scene with Maleficent earlier)

“Would it matter if I was?”

Aurora sucked in a deep breath, and bowed her head low. “Please let me help. You’re right; I don’t know what I’m doing. But the two of us together have a better chance than either of us alone, right?”

Maleficent frowned, and over the next minute or so her eyes never left Aurora’s face. “You must do exactly as I say, is that clear?”

Aurora straightened and nodded. Maleficent continued, “That means if I tell you to leave for your own safety, you will. Understood?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Maleficent sighed. “Very well. Come this way.” She peered past Aurora. “And you, boy. You have faerie sight, correct? You come too. They’re your parents, as well, and having a second pair of eyes that can see what we’re doing can’t hurt.”

Aurora gasped and spun around. Isaac stepped out from behind the bushes and smiled awkwardly. Part of her wanted to get mad, but her more rational side realized that would be hypocritical.

<-Rapunzel Previous

Rapunzel Next->

Most recently updated draft of Rapunzel, the Sleeping Beauty (potentially including unposted content)

Read More
Rapunzel, 2022, Nanowrimo 2022 Nathaniel Cloud Rapunzel, 2022, Nanowrimo 2022 Nathaniel Cloud

20 November 2022

He and Rapunzel made eye contact, and Rapunzel gave him an awkward wave. He stopped mid-sentence and walked over to her. He stared at her face long enough she started to get uncomfortable, before he finally said, “Aurora?”

“Um, yeah.” Rapunzel looked down at the ground and rubbed her arm. “Although, um, I actually go by Rapunzel now.”

Frederick gingerly raised a hand to Rapunzel’s cheek. She looked up at him, and in the softest voice he said, “You have your mother’s eyes.”

We’re starting to get close to the end here. It’s actually becoming harder and harder to know what to write, and this was one of the first days I started to feel that. I did enjoy writing Frederick’s arrival, and tried to catch some of the subsequent awkwardness. But I had no idea where to go with her talk with her Tower, so I shelved it for quite a long time.

For a long time, Tower just held her close. Finally, he said, “You are an amazing and wonderful young woman. And don’t let anyone, especially yourself, tell you otherwise.” He smiled down at her. “These people - your parents, Maleficent, your brother Isaac - it is clear how much they care for and love you. That’s because they see the things inside you worth loving.”

Aurora smiled weakly. It was a nice sentiment, if nothing else.

Tower raised an eyebrow at her. “Well, if you don’t believe me, answer this. Is a life’s value only in how long it is? Does being the oldest automatically make someone the best or the wisest?”

“Well… no. Not really.”

“Then why should you be worth any less just because you may not live as long? Isn’t it the same principle?”

Aurora shook her head. “But I’m sick. I can barely walk from one town to the next without collapsing. I can’t do anything worthwhile.”

Once again, Tower looked at her with a single eyebrow raised. “Excuse me? You brought an entire room to life with your paintings and skills. And that is just one example. Do you know how happy it made me to see you working on something you enjoyed so much?”

A couple days after collapsing and waking up in town.

When Rapunzel woke the next day, she could hear a great commotion from outside the inn. She forced herself to her feet and struggled out the door.

She gawked as soon as she got outside. Somehow, overnight an entire army had appeared as if out of nowhere. Isaac seemed to be arguing with the man in charge, who looked to be in his late 30s or early 40s. The family connection between the two was obvious, and he had the same bright red hair as Rapunzel, with a well-trimmed beard to match. King Frederick; Rapunzel’s father.

He and Rapunzel made eye contact, and Rapunzel gave him an awkward wave. He stopped mid-sentence and walked over to her. He stared at her face long enough she started to get uncomfortable, before he finally said, “Aurora?”

“Um, yeah.” Rapunzel looked down at the ground and rubbed her arm. “Although, um, I actually go by Rapunzel now.”

Frederick gingerly raised a hand to Rapunzel’s cheek. She looked up at him, and in the softest voice he said, “You have your mother’s eyes.”

A moment later, he hugged her tight, as if he was afraid she’d disappear if he let go. Once that thought crossed her mind, Rapunzel’s heart sank. She would disappear soon, wouldn’t she? In two or three days, now, she’d most likely be dead. And if she avoided that, whatever was left wouldn’t be her, would it?

Isaac coughed, and Frederick finally released her. He gave her one last smile, then looked over to Isaac. “What happened to the fairy? And I thought Aurora–” He paused, then corrected himself. “Rapunzel wasn’t going to leave?”

“Yeah… about that…” Rapunzel smiled sheepishly and wouldn’t meet Frederick’s gaze. “Moth… *cough* Gothel stole away Isaac’s eyesight when she caught him in the Tower, so I kind of… got mad and stole hers back? And after that, well, I couldn’t exactly stay, could I? So… here I am.”

Frederick’s eyes widened, and he looked at rapunzel with newfound respect. Then his expression hardened. “Still, she might come after you, either in retaliation or hoping to take you back.” He turned to one of his officers. “Conners, take a squad and–”

“Please don’t!” Rapunzel ran out into the road ahead of the army. “Gothel is… okay, I know she kidnapped me as a baby, but she’s mostly harmless. She’s still dealing with trauma from whatever happened between her and Queen Maleficent, that’s all.”

Frederick scowled at the mention of Maleficent, then sighed and softened. He focused his gaze on Rapunzel. “You say she’s harmless? Are you sure?”

“If she were going to come after us, she already would have,” Rapunzel answered. “Besides, she’s blind now.” Assuming she hadn’t used Isaac’s eyesight. But she didn’t need to tell them that.

“Plus, disturbing her now when she’s stable might be like kicking a hornet’s nest,” Isaac added. “Who knows how much damage she could cause if she gets serious.”

<-Rapunzel Previous

Rapunzel Next->

Most recently updated draft of Rapunzel, the Sleeping Beauty (potentially including unposted content)

Read More
Rapunzel, 2022, Nanowrimo 2022 Nathaniel Cloud Rapunzel, 2022, Nanowrimo 2022 Nathaniel Cloud

19 November 2022

She ran forward and reached out to grab Maleficent’s intelligence; she didn’t want to hurt her, just incapacitate her enough to get past and…

Wait. What was she doing? Aurora stopped short and looked around. What was with all the roses and thorns? And who was that tall, intimidating woman glaring down at her, with her hand outstretched?

Then her memories all snapped back into place, and Aurora’s eyes widened. She looked up at the woman she now recognized as Maleficent.

A lot of these scenes were really fun for me to write. I especially enjoyed the “duel” (if you can even call it that) with Maleficent. Maleficent’s actually being super gentle with Aurora, to try and honor Hannah’s last wish that Aurora get a chance to lead a full life. But it’s cool to see how she manipulates different things to interrupt Aurora and her plans. I do probably need to clarify what exactly’s going on in one or two spots, though.

And then there’s the whole bit as Isaac, Aurora, and Phillip get ready to leave town. It’s a glorious mess, and I love it. Aurora would have been more than happy to stay, if Isaac had figured out a better way to approach the subject; instead, he sparked her stubbornness. This doesn’t go well for her, but I blame the both of them for that, not just her. I am worried that it’ll look like I’m taking Isaac’s side; he’s right, in a way, that she is weak, and isn’t physically capable of everything she wants to be, at least no without some kind of assistance. But I disagree with his approach. Find ways around limitations, and ways to mitigate risks; don’t just say someone can’t do something.

By the time they reached the village, Rapunzel’s feet were killing her, and she was having a hard time breathing. So she was grateful when Isaac announced, “This is it.”

They entered the building and Isaac walked up to the innkeeper. “I’d like to book an additional room for the lady here.”

“Of course, Your–” The innkeeper cleared his throat. “Of course, good customer.” He looked curiously at Rapunzel, then noticed the horrible state of her hair. “Oh my goodness! That looks dreadful. Would you like me to call me wife to tend to your hair?”

Rapunzel shot him a grateful smile. “That would be lovely.”

The innkeeper nodded once, then turned around and hollered, “Honey!”

A short woman with graying hair waddled out from the back. “Yes, what is it, darling?”

“Could you attend to the hair of our most recent guest?” The innkeeper turned to Rapunzel. “And, hm, shall we say to give her the royal treatment?”

His wife’s eyes sparkled, and she took Rapunzel by the hand and sat her down in a chair in the back. “Now, how long would you like it, hon?”

Rapunzel, shrugged. “I’d… like to keep it on the longer side. I’ve had long hair my whole life, so cutting it too short would feel… strange. But I’ll let you decide.”

“Tell you what, then; I’ll cut it to the small of your back, and if you do decide you want it shorter later, you will be able to find someone to cut it then.”

She got to work, and soon the sound of her clippers snipping away filled the room. It was a strange feeling for Rapunzel; other than the rushed hack-job from Isaac, she’d never had her hair cut, and she felt like she should sense something. Instead, it was kind of just… happening.

While she trimmed, the woman asked, “Where are you from? I don’t recognize you, and you seem pretty young to be gallivanting through the woods with the prince.”

“Oh, um…” So they knew he was a prince already. Rapunzel would have to be extra careful if she didn’t want them to find out she was the lost princess. “I’m from the far side of the forest; I was helping with his search for Princess Aurora. I actually turn sixteen in a week or so.”

“I see, I see.” The woman nodded to herself. “And what about his friend, Phillip? He’s a nice young lad. I assume you’ve met him?”

Ah. Rapunzel chuckled, and almost shook her head before she caught herself. “He’s just a friend. He has excellent taste in reading material, and he’s a nice enough guy, but there’s nothing more between us.”

“Ah. Well, more’s the pity.” There was a last snip of the clippers, and the woman announced, “All finished. Come, let’s scrub it clean for you.”

Ten to fifteen minutes later, Rapunzel headed up to the room she’d been given while she dried her hair, a contented smile on her face.

Later that evening, there was knock on the door, and Isaac called out, “Mind if we come in? I had a few things I wanted to talk about.”

Rapunzel opened the door for them, and Isaac and Phillip stepped in. She looked over at Isaac. “What is it?”

“Well,” Isaac began, and cleared his throat. “I… had a thought. I’ve already sent letters to Mom and Dad, to ask them to come here, Back then, I didn’t think you were ever going to leave the Tower.”

“Right, okay.” Rapunzel nodded.

“And given how much trouble you had just getting here, I was wondering if it wouldn’t be easier to just… wait here, maybe?”

Ordinarily, Rapunzel would think that was a great idea. Especially given the way her feet hurt. But something about the way Isaac was approaching this bothered her. “Why?”

Isaac frowned. “Why what?”

“Why are you suggesting this?” She narrowed her eyes at him. “You don’t think I can do this, do you?”

“No! No, that’s not what I’m trying to say. It’s just… You’re not used to traveling, and you mentioned having a weak body, so I was trying to consider all the options, and…”

Rapunzel’s stare turned into a full-on glare. She’d taken care of herself just fine in the Tower for years, thank you very much. She could handle a little trip to the capital. “I’m going to need to get used to traveling at some point, so it might as well be now. We’re going.” Isaac began to protest, but Rapunzel ignored him and headed for the door. “Good night.”

She was in the hallway before she realized her mistake. She turned around and went back in and said, “Actually, this is my room. Could I ask you to leave? I need to sleep.”

Isaac threw his hands up in exasperation, but the boys did leave, and Rapunzel was left alone with her thoughts.

They did manage to find a horse to buy for Rapunzel, and set out early the next morning. It was quite a gentle horse, and Phillip gave her quite a few helpful pointers. Still, it didn’t take long to start chafing, and Rapunzel began to regret her stubborn outburst the night before. Not that she’d ever admit it.

Duel with Maleficent

Aurora looked in shock at the hedge of thorns surrounding this part of the palace. Had Maleficent done this? How? When?

She only walked in a couple of feet when she saw Maleficent standing there, almost as if the witch-queen had been waiting for her.

“I thought I told you not to risk this foolishness,” Maleficent said softly. Her eyes burned with green light, however, and her mouth was set in a grim line.

“And I can’t just leave them like this!” Aurora yelled back. “If that costs me my life, fine! I’m going to die soon anyway!”

The lights around Maleficent flared, and she glared at Aurora. “Do you really think so little of your life?” she demanded firmly. “Would you spit on the weight of the sacrifice Hannah made for you!?”

“I don’t even understand why she did it!” Aurora cried back. “I’m not worth something like that!” She ran forward and reached out to grab Maleficent’s intelligence; she didn’t want to hurt her, just incapacitate her enough to get past and…

Wait. What was she doing? Aurora stopped short and looked around. What was with all the roses and thorns? And who was that tall, intimidating woman glaring down at her, with her hand outstretched?

Then her memories all snapped back into place, and Aurora’s eyes widened. She looked up at the woman she now recognized as Maleficent.

“You will not set foot inside their resting place,” Maleficent promised.

Aurora bit her lip and reached out again. Maybe if she stole away Maleficent’s speed of thought–

Then everything went black, and Aurora stumbled forward. She stretched out her arms, trying to feel for where she was, when Maleficent’s voice whispered from beside her, “I have the magic and abilities of twelve fairies combined, with over fifty years of practice using them. I can see the threads you reach for before you can even grab them. What chance do you think you have?”

Aurora’s sight returned to her, and tears spilled out her eyes to mix with the rain on her cheeks.. It wasn’t even that Maleficent was right. It was the fact that Maleficent was holding back. If she’d wanted to, it would have been simple for her to keep Aurora’s memories or eyesight locked away, and Aurora wouldn’t have been able to do anything.

Was there anything Aurora could do? Did she have anyway of beating Maleficent’s reaction time? Then she remembered a bit about fate-spinning she’d read, specifically the part where masters could control the very flow of time. She stilled her breathing, strained her ears, and reached out for the faint sound of a clock.

Maleficent’s eyes went wide, and she looked afraid for the first time. “Don’t! Aurora…”

Then Aurora grabbed something and yanked hard. In a moment, she vanished, leaving Maleficent alone in the courtyard.

Maleficent’s shoulders drooped, and her grip on her staff tightened. When she spoke, there was a catch in her voice, the only evidence she was holding back tears. “You foolish, foolish girl.”

[First half of Isaac’s fight with the dragon here.]

For a second, Aurora wasn’t sure her attempt at fate-spinning had done anything. Then she realized Maleficent wasn’t moving, and the rain had frozen. Aurora smiled and laughed; she’d actually done it! Then her smile disappeared as she realized something. How was she going to get back?

Back to first Tower exit

Still, it wasn’t that bad, and she kept herself distracted by chatting with the boys.

Halfway through the morning, she felt a little short of breath, like her chest was too tight. Aurora chose to ignore it, however; she’d insisted on continuing, and there was no way she was going to give Isaac more ammo to tease her with later.

<-Rapunzel Previous

Rapunzel Next->

Most recently updated draft of Rapunzel, the Sleeping Beauty (potentially including unposted content)

Read More