DREAMS of a CLOUD

Peruse the many random ramblings of a writer-in-training as I build stories and develop my craft.

Rapunzel, 2022, Nanowrimo 2022 Nathaniel Cloud Rapunzel, 2022, Nanowrimo 2022 Nathaniel Cloud

21 November 2022

When the witch-queen finally saw her, her eyes widened, and she slowly walked up to Aurora. Aurora bit her lower lip and looked away. Maleficent slapped her and said, “You foolish, foolish girl!”

Before Aurora could protest, however, she was shocked to see tears in Maleficent’s eyes. She pulled Aurora into a hug and whispered, “I thought we’d lost you forever.”

Looking over this, it kind of seems like I was all over the place. Bouncing from one scene to another. Part of that has to do with the fact that as we’re getting close to the end of the month, I actually have been really close to wrapping up the first draft, which makes this more of a novella than a novel I suppose. And due to the disjointed way I approached the project, I needed to take time to fill in the gaps between scenes. There is some new stuff, of course; Aurora’s second confrontation with Maleficent, for example, right as we hit the climax.

Isaac grit his teeth, as he knelt behind a fragment of the wall. How many men had he lost already? Was there anything he could do about the dragon’s fire breath?

The dragon sniffed the air again, and turned to look right at him. She began to suck in, and Isaac knew this was the end. There was no way he’d be able to get away in time. He sighed in resignation; while he didn’t regret anything, he did wish his citizens didn’t have to be the ones to pay the price.

Right before the dragon released her fire breath, however, a transparent, violet-colored image of a stone wall appeared between him and the dragon, then materialized into stone right as the flames hit. Isaac watched in awe as they bore the brunt of the flames without any signs of melting or burning.

On Isaac’s side of the new wall, it shifted to form a door, which opened to reveal Aurora looking quite proud of herself. She grinned at Isaac then turned to stare up at the dragon. “What do you need us to do?”

(Near the climax, after the second half of the dragon fight)

Aurora was incredibly apprehensive as she approached the fortress of thorns and roses. When she finally stepped inside, she found Maleficent focusing intently on some magic.

It took a moment for Maleficent to notice her presence. When the witch-queen finally saw her, her eyes widened, and she slowly walked up to Aurora. Aurora bit her lower lip and looked away. Maleficent slapped her and said, “You foolish, foolish girl!”

Before Aurora could protest, however, Maleficent dropped to her knees in front of Aurora, and Aurora was shocked to see tears in her eyes. She pulled Aurora into a hug and whispered, “I thought we’d lost you forever.”

“I’m sorry.”

Maleficent pulled back. “You understand, though, right? How dangerous fate-spinning is. I still cannot let you do this.”

“What if I had help?” Aurora gestured, and a mini Tower formed beside her.

Maleficent looked surprised, and considered the idea for a moment. Finally, though, she shook her head. “The risks are still far too great.”

She turned to leave, and Aurora had to force herself to keep calm. Then she called after Maleficent, “If there’s no hope in saving them, why did you keep them alive?”

Maleficent turned to her, one eyebrow raised. Aurora took a deep breath and continued, “I think somewhere, deep down, you’re hoping they can be saved. Maybe you’re even planning on saving them yourself.”

(After Aurora reunites with Frederick, when they’ve said Gothel is harmless)

Frederick frowned and turned to Conners. “Your thoughts?”

Conners thought for a moment. “Isaac’s always had a good head on his shoulders, and I would assume your daughter is similar. That said, it might not be a bad idea to leave a small contingent of men nearby to keep a watch on the forest, just to be safe.”

Frederick nodded to her. “Make it happen.”

Conners saluted and began ordering her men around. Frederick gestured to Rapunzel and Isaac. “Shall we head in? We have a lot to talk about.”

Conversation was incredibly awkward at first. Rapunzel had no idea what to say to the king, and Frederick looked just as lost as she was. There were a few false starts, from both sides, and Isaac did his best to bridge the gap, but both Rapunzel and the king were too self-conscious to relax and let the conversation flow.

Eventually, Frederick asked, “So… What are your plans going forward?”

Rapunzel bit her lip. Plans? For what? Three days from now? She had to take a minute to calm herself down. “Well, first off, I’d like to formally remove myself from the line of succession, if that hasn’t already been taken care of.”

Frederick nodded. “May I ask your reasons?”

“There are two main ones. First, Isaac’s trained all his life to take your place as king, correct?” Frederick and Isaac both nodded, and Rapunzel continued. “I haven’t. I’ve been living in the Tower my whole life. That alone would be reason enough. However…” A ghost of a smile flit across her features. “If I am, somehow, alive here in another week, I’m not exactly going to be in any condition to rule.”

Frederick grimaced. “So you are aware of that, at least.”

Rapunzel nodded, and Frederick sank, like the weight of the world had just settled on his shoulders. “Well, at least we get to have a few days together, right?”

“Yeah.” Rapunzel wasn’t sure how to respond to that.

They continued talking for the next few hours. Rapunzel talked about her paintings, and the Tower and everything it did to take care of her. She tried to make a point to avoid talking about Gothel too much, especially some of her…issues. Frederick talked about the kingdom and his goals for it a bit, but mostly he talked about Isaac and Hannah and their life together, including a number of embarrassing stories, to Isaac’s chagrin. Isaac himself would interject here and there, and sometimes gave as good as he got.

Just as the sun began to set, a woman burst in, with wavy, dark brown hair. It took Rapunzel a moment to recognize her as Queen Hannah.

“Mom!?” Isaac stood, shock written all over his face. “How did you get here so fast? You were two weeks away; I didn’t think you were going to make it!”

“I had help,” Hannah replied. She dipped her head to her husband, and then walked over to Rapunzel and rested a hand on her cheek. She stared deep into Rapunzel’s eyes for a long moment. Then Hannah smiled and hugged Rapunzel tight.

Rapunzel wasn’t really sure if she should reciprocate or not. Before she decided to return the hug, Hannah pulled back and smiled at her. “It’s so good to see you.”

Rapunzel broke eye contact and looked at the floor. “I’m sorry. I know you guys are my parents, and you’ve been searching for me for ages. I know you love me. But… It’s all a bit surreal, to me. I don’t really know you yet.”

“That’s alright, sweetie. Take your time.” Then Hannah’s face fell, as if she, too, just remembered time was something Rapunzel didn’t have a lot of,

To Rapunzel’s surprise, though, rather than getting depressed or weepy, Hannah’s expression grew determined. “Well, for now, we’ll do what we can, alright? Tell me if your father or I start acting too familiar.”

Rapunzel gave her an awkward smile. “Alright.”

(Returning to the climax scene with Maleficent earlier)

“Would it matter if I was?”

Aurora sucked in a deep breath, and bowed her head low. “Please let me help. You’re right; I don’t know what I’m doing. But the two of us together have a better chance than either of us alone, right?”

Maleficent frowned, and over the next minute or so her eyes never left Aurora’s face. “You must do exactly as I say, is that clear?”

Aurora straightened and nodded. Maleficent continued, “That means if I tell you to leave for your own safety, you will. Understood?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Maleficent sighed. “Very well. Come this way.” She peered past Aurora. “And you, boy. You have faerie sight, correct? You come too. They’re your parents, as well, and having a second pair of eyes that can see what we’re doing can’t hurt.”

Aurora gasped and spun around. Isaac stepped out from behind the bushes and smiled awkwardly. Part of her wanted to get mad, but her more rational side realized that would be hypocritical.

<-Rapunzel Previous

Rapunzel Next->

Most recently updated draft of Rapunzel, the Sleeping Beauty (potentially including unposted content)

Read More
Rapunzel, 2022, Nanowrimo 2022 Nathaniel Cloud Rapunzel, 2022, Nanowrimo 2022 Nathaniel Cloud

19 November 2022

She ran forward and reached out to grab Maleficent’s intelligence; she didn’t want to hurt her, just incapacitate her enough to get past and…

Wait. What was she doing? Aurora stopped short and looked around. What was with all the roses and thorns? And who was that tall, intimidating woman glaring down at her, with her hand outstretched?

Then her memories all snapped back into place, and Aurora’s eyes widened. She looked up at the woman she now recognized as Maleficent.

A lot of these scenes were really fun for me to write. I especially enjoyed the “duel” (if you can even call it that) with Maleficent. Maleficent’s actually being super gentle with Aurora, to try and honor Hannah’s last wish that Aurora get a chance to lead a full life. But it’s cool to see how she manipulates different things to interrupt Aurora and her plans. I do probably need to clarify what exactly’s going on in one or two spots, though.

And then there’s the whole bit as Isaac, Aurora, and Phillip get ready to leave town. It’s a glorious mess, and I love it. Aurora would have been more than happy to stay, if Isaac had figured out a better way to approach the subject; instead, he sparked her stubbornness. This doesn’t go well for her, but I blame the both of them for that, not just her. I am worried that it’ll look like I’m taking Isaac’s side; he’s right, in a way, that she is weak, and isn’t physically capable of everything she wants to be, at least no without some kind of assistance. But I disagree with his approach. Find ways around limitations, and ways to mitigate risks; don’t just say someone can’t do something.

By the time they reached the village, Rapunzel’s feet were killing her, and she was having a hard time breathing. So she was grateful when Isaac announced, “This is it.”

They entered the building and Isaac walked up to the innkeeper. “I’d like to book an additional room for the lady here.”

“Of course, Your–” The innkeeper cleared his throat. “Of course, good customer.” He looked curiously at Rapunzel, then noticed the horrible state of her hair. “Oh my goodness! That looks dreadful. Would you like me to call me wife to tend to your hair?”

Rapunzel shot him a grateful smile. “That would be lovely.”

The innkeeper nodded once, then turned around and hollered, “Honey!”

A short woman with graying hair waddled out from the back. “Yes, what is it, darling?”

“Could you attend to the hair of our most recent guest?” The innkeeper turned to Rapunzel. “And, hm, shall we say to give her the royal treatment?”

His wife’s eyes sparkled, and she took Rapunzel by the hand and sat her down in a chair in the back. “Now, how long would you like it, hon?”

Rapunzel, shrugged. “I’d… like to keep it on the longer side. I’ve had long hair my whole life, so cutting it too short would feel… strange. But I’ll let you decide.”

“Tell you what, then; I’ll cut it to the small of your back, and if you do decide you want it shorter later, you will be able to find someone to cut it then.”

She got to work, and soon the sound of her clippers snipping away filled the room. It was a strange feeling for Rapunzel; other than the rushed hack-job from Isaac, she’d never had her hair cut, and she felt like she should sense something. Instead, it was kind of just… happening.

While she trimmed, the woman asked, “Where are you from? I don’t recognize you, and you seem pretty young to be gallivanting through the woods with the prince.”

“Oh, um…” So they knew he was a prince already. Rapunzel would have to be extra careful if she didn’t want them to find out she was the lost princess. “I’m from the far side of the forest; I was helping with his search for Princess Aurora. I actually turn sixteen in a week or so.”

“I see, I see.” The woman nodded to herself. “And what about his friend, Phillip? He’s a nice young lad. I assume you’ve met him?”

Ah. Rapunzel chuckled, and almost shook her head before she caught herself. “He’s just a friend. He has excellent taste in reading material, and he’s a nice enough guy, but there’s nothing more between us.”

“Ah. Well, more’s the pity.” There was a last snip of the clippers, and the woman announced, “All finished. Come, let’s scrub it clean for you.”

Ten to fifteen minutes later, Rapunzel headed up to the room she’d been given while she dried her hair, a contented smile on her face.

Later that evening, there was knock on the door, and Isaac called out, “Mind if we come in? I had a few things I wanted to talk about.”

Rapunzel opened the door for them, and Isaac and Phillip stepped in. She looked over at Isaac. “What is it?”

“Well,” Isaac began, and cleared his throat. “I… had a thought. I’ve already sent letters to Mom and Dad, to ask them to come here, Back then, I didn’t think you were ever going to leave the Tower.”

“Right, okay.” Rapunzel nodded.

“And given how much trouble you had just getting here, I was wondering if it wouldn’t be easier to just… wait here, maybe?”

Ordinarily, Rapunzel would think that was a great idea. Especially given the way her feet hurt. But something about the way Isaac was approaching this bothered her. “Why?”

Isaac frowned. “Why what?”

“Why are you suggesting this?” She narrowed her eyes at him. “You don’t think I can do this, do you?”

“No! No, that’s not what I’m trying to say. It’s just… You’re not used to traveling, and you mentioned having a weak body, so I was trying to consider all the options, and…”

Rapunzel’s stare turned into a full-on glare. She’d taken care of herself just fine in the Tower for years, thank you very much. She could handle a little trip to the capital. “I’m going to need to get used to traveling at some point, so it might as well be now. We’re going.” Isaac began to protest, but Rapunzel ignored him and headed for the door. “Good night.”

She was in the hallway before she realized her mistake. She turned around and went back in and said, “Actually, this is my room. Could I ask you to leave? I need to sleep.”

Isaac threw his hands up in exasperation, but the boys did leave, and Rapunzel was left alone with her thoughts.

They did manage to find a horse to buy for Rapunzel, and set out early the next morning. It was quite a gentle horse, and Phillip gave her quite a few helpful pointers. Still, it didn’t take long to start chafing, and Rapunzel began to regret her stubborn outburst the night before. Not that she’d ever admit it.

Duel with Maleficent

Aurora looked in shock at the hedge of thorns surrounding this part of the palace. Had Maleficent done this? How? When?

She only walked in a couple of feet when she saw Maleficent standing there, almost as if the witch-queen had been waiting for her.

“I thought I told you not to risk this foolishness,” Maleficent said softly. Her eyes burned with green light, however, and her mouth was set in a grim line.

“And I can’t just leave them like this!” Aurora yelled back. “If that costs me my life, fine! I’m going to die soon anyway!”

The lights around Maleficent flared, and she glared at Aurora. “Do you really think so little of your life?” she demanded firmly. “Would you spit on the weight of the sacrifice Hannah made for you!?”

“I don’t even understand why she did it!” Aurora cried back. “I’m not worth something like that!” She ran forward and reached out to grab Maleficent’s intelligence; she didn’t want to hurt her, just incapacitate her enough to get past and…

Wait. What was she doing? Aurora stopped short and looked around. What was with all the roses and thorns? And who was that tall, intimidating woman glaring down at her, with her hand outstretched?

Then her memories all snapped back into place, and Aurora’s eyes widened. She looked up at the woman she now recognized as Maleficent.

“You will not set foot inside their resting place,” Maleficent promised.

Aurora bit her lip and reached out again. Maybe if she stole away Maleficent’s speed of thought–

Then everything went black, and Aurora stumbled forward. She stretched out her arms, trying to feel for where she was, when Maleficent’s voice whispered from beside her, “I have the magic and abilities of twelve fairies combined, with over fifty years of practice using them. I can see the threads you reach for before you can even grab them. What chance do you think you have?”

Aurora’s sight returned to her, and tears spilled out her eyes to mix with the rain on her cheeks.. It wasn’t even that Maleficent was right. It was the fact that Maleficent was holding back. If she’d wanted to, it would have been simple for her to keep Aurora’s memories or eyesight locked away, and Aurora wouldn’t have been able to do anything.

Was there anything Aurora could do? Did she have anyway of beating Maleficent’s reaction time? Then she remembered a bit about fate-spinning she’d read, specifically the part where masters could control the very flow of time. She stilled her breathing, strained her ears, and reached out for the faint sound of a clock.

Maleficent’s eyes went wide, and she looked afraid for the first time. “Don’t! Aurora…”

Then Aurora grabbed something and yanked hard. In a moment, she vanished, leaving Maleficent alone in the courtyard.

Maleficent’s shoulders drooped, and her grip on her staff tightened. When she spoke, there was a catch in her voice, the only evidence she was holding back tears. “You foolish, foolish girl.”

[First half of Isaac’s fight with the dragon here.]

For a second, Aurora wasn’t sure her attempt at fate-spinning had done anything. Then she realized Maleficent wasn’t moving, and the rain had frozen. Aurora smiled and laughed; she’d actually done it! Then her smile disappeared as she realized something. How was she going to get back?

Back to first Tower exit

Still, it wasn’t that bad, and she kept herself distracted by chatting with the boys.

Halfway through the morning, she felt a little short of breath, like her chest was too tight. Aurora chose to ignore it, however; she’d insisted on continuing, and there was no way she was going to give Isaac more ammo to tease her with later.

<-Rapunzel Previous

Rapunzel Next->

Most recently updated draft of Rapunzel, the Sleeping Beauty (potentially including unposted content)

Read More
Rapunzel, 2022, Nanowrimo 2022 Nathaniel Cloud Rapunzel, 2022, Nanowrimo 2022 Nathaniel Cloud

15 November 2022

She’d been there long enough for her legs to ache by the time Maleficent walked in. For a long moment, the witch just studied her. Finally, she quietly moved up next to Aurora to pay her respects. “They’ve done a lovely job with the arrangement of the room.”

Aurora nodded, and the two waited in silence for a long time. Then Aurora sobbed, “Why? I don’t understand. I’m sick. I’m weak… I didn’t even try to find them, or leave my Tower. Even after I learned the truth. Why would they give up so much for someone like me?”

The final scene, with Aurora and Maleficent bonding after Hannah’s sacrifice, was really cool. I feel like it’s the closest I’ve come to balancing out Maleficent’s unexpectedly gentle side with her truly vicious nature. It’s going to be a while before that comes naturally to writing her, though, I think.

…hide!”

She pulled her wrist free and closed the door behind her. Isaac was half-tempted to open the door and follow her despite the warnings, but decided that prudence might be the better option in this case.

A couple of minutes later, an archway formed in the back part of the studio. This must be the way out Rapunzel mentioned. Isaac climbed in and began making his way down the stairs.

About one floor down, he caught the sound of voices. When he inspected more closely, he found an arrowslit that looked out onto the “reception room”. He pressed his ear against it to try and make out what was being said.

“...course not. I obviously haven’t gone anywhere, and what would I do with a prince?” Rapunzel’s tone reminded Isaac of some of the more experienced stablehands when they had to deal with an agitated horse.

“No, he’s here. I can smell him.” The voice belonged to an older woman Isaac recognized, most likely Gothel.

The Tower blinked lights at him, urging him forward, but Isaac held a finger up to his lips. “Let me listen a little longer.”

Rapunzel’s voice came through again. “Smell him, Mother? Do princes have a special ‘prince’ cologne I don’t know about? Besides, what business would a prince have with me?”

She probably had this handled, though Isaac was surprised; was Gothel unaware Rapunzel had already figured out the truth? Regardless, he’d heard enough, and he started to head down the stairs. He’d only gone a few steps, however, when the wall behind him burst, revealing a middle-aged woman with brown hair in a deep blue dress. She had a frenzied look in her eyes. “Got you! Skulking about in the shadows like a thief, prince?”

Isaac tried to bolt, but he’d only taken a step when some unseen thing wrapped around his legs and sent him sprawling.

“No, Mother, wait! He’s harmless! He’s not here to take me away or anything!” Rapunzel tried to get past Gothel and get between her and Isaac.

The fairy just ignored her attempts, as if she didn’t even notice them. She kept her eyes locked on Isaac. She raised one hand, and while muttering something Isaac couldn’t comprehend, began pulling the hand back toward her.

Isaac screamed, as what felt like thorns began sprouting from inside his eyes and trying to get out. Everything went black, and he clutched at his eyes; to his shock, there was nothing unusual there.

“You will never look on my Rapunzel again,” Gothel said, satisfied. She grabbed him by the lapel with one hand and began dragging him back up the stairs.

“No! Mother, what are you doing!?”

“Please…no…:” Isaac pleaded. “I’m not here to take her away from you.”

“And you won’t.”

Right as she threw him out the window, Rapunzel yelled, “Tower!”

Isaac had a moment of free fall, before his back slammed into something hard and he began to slide down.

Once he reached the bottom, he began to weep, as he clutched his eyes again.


Rapunzel found Isaac at the base of the Tower, curled in a ball and a weeping. Her own heart ached at the sight.

“Hey.”

Isaac snapped his head in her direction. “Who’s there?”

“It’s me. Rapunzel. You can relax.” Rapunzel couldn’t help but feel apologetic, and that came out in her voice.

“What? How did… Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” She reached a hand toward Isaac’s eyes. “I have something for you.”

She touched his eyelids and gave him the sight she’d ripped from Gothel. She still didn’t know what to think about that.

Isaac blinked a few times, then looked up at her. “Rapunzel?”

“Yep. That’s me.”

“Sorry, it’s just…” He looked down at his hands, then at the forest all around them. “This is going to take some getting used to.”

“I bet.” Rapunzel helped him stand. “Now come on. We should get out of here.”


Sometime after Hannah’s sacrifice and arriving in the capital

Aurora sat on a chair, knees hugged tight against her chest. Strange, wasn’t it? So many years of stubbornly insisting that she was Rapunzel, that “Aurora” had nothing to do with her, and now…

Tears flowed down her cheeks as she stared at the still form of her mother. Her real mother. Someone, she didn’t know who, had found beautiful glass coffins to rest them in, along with a beautiful arrangement of flowers around the room. Aurora appreciated that; she wanted to get to know their faces, even if she’d all but lost the chance to get to know them.

She’d been there long enough for her legs to ache by the time Maleficent walked in. For a long moment, the witch just studied her. Finally, she quietly moved up next to Aurora to pay her respects. “They’ve done a lovely job with the arrangement of the room.”

Aurora nodded, and the two waited in silence for a long time. Then Aurora sobbed, “Why? I don’t understand. I’m sick. I’m weak… I didn’t even try to find them, or leave my Tower. Even after I learned the truth. Why would they give up so much for someone like me?”

Maleficent’s face remained impassive. Eventually, she said, “I am told that it’s normal for parents to be willing to lay down their lives for the sake of their children.”

Aurora glanced up at her. “You’re told?”

“I have no children of my own, and, well. My parents ultimately expected me to die for them.” Her eyes narrowed. “Needless to say, things did not turn out the way they expected them to.”

Aurora brushed the tears from her face. “I guess I have it lucky, since my parents actually loved me?” She couldn’t quite keep the bitterness out of her voice.

“Not necessarily.” Maleficent shook her head. “I was merely noting the irony. You are unlucky because you never had a chance to know your parents; I am unlucky because I did know mine.”

In spite of herself, Aurora chuckled. “Maybe bad luck is part of being a witch.”

The barest hint of a smile touched Maleficent’s lips. “Perhaps.” The smile faded, and she looked down at Aurora. “I feel I should apologize. At the end of the day, if I hadn’t cursed you, you would have spent the last sixteen years under their care, rather than hidden away in your Tower.”

Aurora shrugged. “I always thought of your curse as a mercy. Right about now, I’d have core pieces of who I am freshly ripped away from me. Is death any worse than that?” After a moment, she frowned and looked up at Maleficent. “That reminds me, though. What exactly happened between you and Gothel? I know it traumatized her, but that’s all.”

Maleficent folded her hands together. “Did you know that back east, the nations use fairy-blessed children as signs of status? For as long as they are blessed, that is.”

Aurora nodded. “Some of the books she hid away mentioned that.”

“Well, my parents had curried a great deal of favor with the fae, and when I was born, a full contingent of thirteen fairies came to bestow their blessings on me. Gothel was one of those thirteen.”

Aurora’s eyes went wide with horror. “Thirteen? One or two is bad enough, but…”

With a wry smile, Maleficent said, “Yes, my entire life was impacted by fairy magic meddling. No one told me the consequences, of course, until everything ran dry and I was left with nothing. I was lucky to steal a bit of wisdom and intelligence by instinct alone. And once I got beyond that, well… I went and found the fairies that had cursed me and ripped my gifts right back out of them.” A cruel smile appeared on Maleficent’s face. “All except Gothel, who had gifted me empathy and called it kindness. I let her go, in part to warn the fae their era was ending.”

<-Rapunzel Previous

Rapunzel Next->

Most recently updated draft of Rapunzel, the Sleeping Beauty (potentially including unposted content)

Read More
Rapunzel, 2022, Nanowrimo 2022 Nathaniel Cloud Rapunzel, 2022, Nanowrimo 2022 Nathaniel Cloud

6 November 2022

The girl, Aurora, was different. There was none of the hostility or wariness Maleficent would have expected, especially considering she had doomed the young girl to death just after she’d been born. No, Aurora studied her like a puzzle she hadn’t quite figured out yet.

Maleficent turned back to Hannah. “You requested to see me?”

Hannah nodded, then glanced back toward Aurora. “When I went to see you earlier, you said that the gifts a fairy-blessed child receives must be paid back, correct?” When Maleficent dipped her head, Hannah asked, “Does she have to be the one that pays the price?”

This is the scene that revealed that titles always lie. Turns out, despite everything building up to that before this, it is not Aurora/Rapunzel who becomes the sleeping beauty, but rather her mother Hannah. And to a certain extent her father, though one of the potential endings actually changes that to just be Hannah.

I wrote this scene, despite taking place quite a ways further in, because I still wanted to focus only on this story this month, but I still wanted to do something more spiritual on Sunday, and this fit in my head.

Maleficent hovered just outside the family group. They hadn’t noticed her yet, which was just as well. Even she didn’t know why she was here, but something about Hannah’s request compelled her to come.

Frederick, the ever-vigilant husband and father, was the first to notice Maleficent, and he immediately leaped forward and drew his sword, sheltering the rest of his family behind him. “You! What more do you want from us?”

Before Maleficent could even form a response, Hannah rose and placed a hand on his shoulder. “It’s alright, love; she’s here at my request.” She pushed sword arm down as she stepped past him and faced Maleficent. With a small curtsy, the queen said, “Thank you for responding to my letter, Queen Maleficent.”

Maleficent bowed her head, then turned to look at the two children. The boy watched her with wariness, his right hand on the sword at his side. Maleficent was surprised to realize he had faerie sight. The girl’s doing, perhaps?

The girl, Aurora, was different. There was none of the hostility or wariness Maleficent would have expected, especially considering she had doomed the young girl to death just after she’d been born. No, Aurora studied her like a puzzle she hadn’t quite figured out yet.

Maleficent turned back to Hannah. “You requested to see me?”

Hannah nodded, then glanced back toward Aurora. “When I went to see you earlier, you said that the gifts a fairy-blessed child receives must be paid back, correct?” When Maleficent dipped her head, Hannah asked, “Does she have to be the one that pays the price?”

Both Maleficent’s and Aurora’s eyes went wide. Maleficent would have chuckled, had the situation been any less serious; this woman never ceased to surprise her. 

However, Aurora’s face turned white, and for the first time Maleficent could see true fear in her eyes. “No! Han– Mom, you can’t! Don’t do this!”

Hannah simply cupped Aurora’s cheek and smiled gently. She turned back to Maleficent. “Can you do it?”

Maleficent glanced at Aurora, who desperately shook her head, then over to Frederick and the boy, who seemed a little bewildered. “I will not unless both you and your husband fully understand what it is you are asking, and I have Frederick’s word that both he and every citizen of this kingdom will not pursue me for doing this.”

Frederick glanced back and forth between the two queens and asked, “Why? What are you asking her to do, Hannah?”

Hannah set her face, then nodded to Maleficent. Maleficent explained, “For sixteen years, you daughter has been blessed with extraordinary beauty and cleverness. Even if she was locked away in a tower during that time, the price for her gifts must be paid. Ordinarily, that would come from Aurora herself in the second half of her life, where she would become ugly and dim-witted. And then there’s the matter of the curse I left on her.” Maleficent was surprised at the bitterness in her own voice at that last part. Was that regret?

“And Mom wants to take all that on herself,” Aurora whispered. “Take my place and pay the cost. And probably die.”

For a long moment, Frederick stared at Aurora, then turned back and stared into Hannah’s eyes. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

Hannah nodded again. Tears poured down Aurora’s face. “No, please! Even if you do this, I won’t live long anyway! I’m sick! I was born weak, and I—”

Hannah cut her off with a hug. “And you are still my daughter. And I love you. And no matter how short your chance at life will be after this, it will be more than you’ve had so far.” She turned and nodded to Maleficent.

<-Rapunzel Previous

Rapunzel Next->

Most recently updated draft of Rapunzel, the Sleeping Beauty (potentially including unposted content)

Read More
Rapunzel, 2022, Nanowrimo 2022 Nathaniel Cloud Rapunzel, 2022, Nanowrimo 2022 Nathaniel Cloud

4 November 2022

Gothel’s eyes widened, and her mouth slipped open. Rapunzel touched to the floor and slowly began to advance on her, forcing Gothel to back up towards the door. “What, you thought I was a fool? That I wouldn’t find out on my own? Your friend gifted me with cleverness, remember? I know I was born Princess Aurora. I’ve known for years. If that was enough to make me leave, I WOULD HAVE LEFT YEARS AGO!”

This was the day I put together a lot of the building blocks that would eventually become the foundation for my story. This is the day I decided the Tower was alive, similar to the Encanto in Disney’s Encanto, or the TARDIS in Doctor Who. It’s also the day I realized Rapunzel, at first, doesnt’t want to leave. Being a princess doesn’t sound that great, at least to her.

The most interesting discovery, though, was the relationship between Hannah and Maleficent. I hadn’t planned for that. Was actually trying to lean away from it, in the planning phase I do before each chunk of writing (it happened a lot this particular day). And still, Hannah refused to leave without figuring out who Maleficent was on the inside and befriending her, and that impacted the plot of the entire book.

One thing I had not figured out yet, though, was what exactly motivated Gothel and Maleficent. I did figure out their shared backstory later, but here, it’s still just a generic “Maleficent hates fairies”, and a vague idea that maybe Gothel wants Aurora as part of some collection (that’s not why, as it turns out, at least for this story).

You would think that after spending years and years locked up in a tower, Rapunzel might resent her (foster) mother, especially after learning the truth, or at least year for more adventure in her life. For the most part, though, you’d be wrong.

Well, it’s not like Rapunzel had zero resentment towards Mother. She’d figured out years ago that she was the “lost princess Aurora”, and Mother had been the one to spirit her away from her real parents. But she’d found out at the same time about Queen Maleficent's curse and everything else that occurred around that time, so she was willing to give Mother the benefit of the doubt. She’d honestly been too scared of Mother’s response to ask about it, though.

Besides, if she was still part of her real family, she’d be a princess, with all the duties, responsibilities, and expectations that came with that. To Rapunzel, that sounded like much more of a prison than the Tower ever was. Especially when she could open a door here and randomly stumble onto a gorgeous lake, in a room so large she got barely make out the far wall. No, the Tower had all the adventure she needed right there.

On this particular morning, Rapunzel woke up and stretched like usual. “Good morning, Tower!” The Tower waved the bedroom door to return her greeting, and shuffled her bedroom slippers over to her. Rapunzel slipped out of bed into them, and made her way downstairs.

Before she even arrived at the kitchen, she could smell the bacon cooking on the griddle, and a smile lit up her face. Sure enough, when she walked in, the Tower had heated the stove and was cooking up a healthy serving of bacon and eggs.

“Where does Mother get all this pork and chicken, I wonder?” Rapunzel mused aloud. The cabinets clattered in a way Rapunzel recognized as the Tower’s equivalent to a shrug. “Speaking of Mother, is she back yet?”

Before the Tower could reply, a voice from outside called out, “Rapunzel! Rapunzel! Let down your hair!”

“Ah. Coming!” Rapunzel called back. She snagged a piece of bacon and scarfed it while she headed to what she called “the reception room”. There, the Tower had brought over the opposite end of her long, bright red hair, which was kept coiled on a wheel. Rapunzel hooked the wheel into the winch system and released the brake; the wheel spun loose, and dropped the ends of her hair to the ground outside.

Once Mother was ready, she tugged the hair three times, and Rapunzel began to crank her hair back into the Tower, lifting Mother in with it. Today, she had the appearance of a middle-class woman in her early- to mid-forties, and wore a deep, navy blue dress with white sleeves. She seemed especially fond of the color blue; no matter who or what Mother transformed into, it always featured blue prominently.

As Mother stepped inside, Rapunzel asked, “How was your trip?”

Mother smiled at her and patted her head. That irked Rapunzel a bit; she wasn’t a child anymore. But Mother meant well, so Rapuzel didn’t bother to fight it. “It went well enough. I got you a few things.” Out of a bag no bigger than a house cat, she pulled out an array of paints, several large canvases, and a new set of brushes. “I got you a few more books, as well; three or four storybooks, and a couple of histories.”

Rapunzel broke out in a wide smile and hugged Mother. She’d been running low on paint supplies; this was perfect. She decided not to mention she’d secretly read both histories already when she’d broken into the hidden library Mother kept in one of the secret rooms. No need to cause trouble; the novels looked intriguing enough, anyway.

“Thank you, Mother.” She gathered the paints and brushes, leaving the Tower to take care of the canvases and books. “The Tower has breakfast ready in the kitchen; bacon and eggs.” then she skipped off to her painting studio to put her things away.


After Gothel discovers Isaac has been visiting Rapunzel

Gothel’s rage simmered down as the boy flew out the window. She pocketed the boy’s sight for later use and carefully arranged her features into a calming smile. As she turned and looked at Rapunzel, however, she froze.

Rapunzel, her sweet, little girl, the centerpiece of her collection, now floated two to three feet in the air. Her eyes burned with violet light and her nostrils flared, and the very shadows of the room were drawn toward her. Gothel couldn’t help but remember that fateful day, almost sixteen years ago, when that despicable witch has stalked in and cursed this very child. The witch then looked very similar to the way Rapunzel did now.

“Rapunzel?” Gothel asked timidly.

When Rapunzel spoke, her voice echoed, as if it emanated from every wall and doorway in the Tower at once. “How dare you! What right do you have to hurt him?”

“I just… just wanted to keep you safe,” Gothel explained, making a great effort to keep her voice as level and soothing as possible. “He could be dangerous.”

Rapunzel snorted and sneered at her. “Why, because I might find out about the fact he’s actually my brother? Or were you worried he’d come and take me away with him, and ruin your ‘collection’?”

Gothel’s eyes widened, and her mouth slipped open. Rapunzel touched to the floor and slowly began to advance on her, forcing Gothel to back up towards the door. “What, you thought I was a fool? That I wouldn’t find out on my own? Your friend gifted me with cleverness, remember? I know I was born Princess Aurora. I’ve known for years. If that was enough to make me leave, I WOULD HAVE LEFT YEARS AGO!”

Gothel’s back hit the wall of the hallway beyond the door. She tried to reach out to the Tower for help, but she got no response. Then Gothel remembered its purpose; it would do everything to “protect Rapunzel”, even if it was against its creator’s wishes.

“For the record, I’d already told him I wasn’t going home with him,” Rapunzel continued. Her tone softened, and her voice lost its echo. Her eyes still burned, but they turned away from Gothel for a moment. “But it was nice to have someone visit. Someone human, who can actually understand the things I need and the way I think.” She snorted and glared at Gothel. “Not that you’d understand that, would you, Mother? Fairies don’t work like that, do they?”

That was the first time Gothel had heard Rapunzel spit the word “Mother” with such venom. She flinched, bu she tried to argue back. “But with your curse–”

Rapunzel’s eyes flared brighter, and her voice boomed louder than it ever had yet. “And which curse would that be? Maleficent’s curse of death? Or do you mean the one your friends gave me along with their gifts, that will turn me into a wretched, ugly simpleton halfway through my life!? Compared to that, Maleficent’s curse might almost be a blessing!”

Gothel’s eyes went wide and her heart shot with pain. What was this feeling? She didn’t understand. And that witch’s curse was a blessing? Her face contorted and turned sour. What about all Gothel had done for Rapunzel? Where was the girl’s gratitude? “After everything I’ve done to keep you safe–”

“You’ve locked me in a cage like a pet songbird!” Rapunzel roared. “You’ve hidden me away like a secret treasure, to make sure no one can steal it from you! And I was willing to let you. Because it’s comfortable here. I don’t have to face real life. Well, guess what?” She reached her hand towards Gothel’s face. “I’m done hiding.

She spoke a word in the old faerie language, clenched her fist, and pulled. Gothel screamed as her eyes burned and everything went black. She heard Rapunzel snap her fingers and order, “Stairs.”

To Gothel’s surprise, she heard the scrape of stone on stone as the Tower rearranged itself to comply with Rapunzel’s bidding.

Gothel grew furious at her creation, and her voice lost any trace of composure. “Stop! What are you doing? I built you to protect the girl?”

There was a moment of silence, then Rapunzel answered on the Tower’s behalf. “Didn’t you know? Sometimes the best way to protect something is to let it go free. It was even mentioned in one of those novels you gave me.”

And with that, Gothel was left with only Rapunzel’s fading footsteps and the sound of her own screams.


Roughly 2 Years Later (after Aurora was first taken, btw)

Hannah looked up at Castle Venwald. She’d heard stories as a little girl of the glorious, pristine white walls, even all the way out in Lowenveil, but now they’d all been dyed a deep black. She almost turned the horse around, but after all the effort it had taken to convince Frederick to let her come on this journey, she couldn’t just go back and admit she’d gotten cold feet. She rode up to the castle gate and addressed the guards. “I am Queen Hannah of Lowenveil. I’ve come to request an audience with Queen Maleficent.”

One of the guards saluted and entered the castle. She waited outside on her horse for ten to fifteen minutes, then the guard returned and led her inside. “You can leave your horse here; we’ll take it to the stables and one for it until you are ready to depart.”

Hannah dismounted and thanked him, then followed his directions to the waiting room. Inside the castle was slightly cheerier than the outside, with red carpets and beautiful tapestries, but the lighting was still dim, and Hannah felt incredibly out of place.

She was in the living room for around thirty minutes before Maleficent entered. Venwald’s queen wore an elegant, deep violet dress; while it wasn’t as formal as what she’d worn to Aurora’s baby blessing, somehow it made her all the more imposing. Her crown was stylized to look like two horns sweeping back over her raven hair. “Queen Hannah. This certainly is a surprise, especially considering the circumstances of our last encounter.”

Hannah moved to stand, but Maleficent raised a hand. “Please; stay seated. Especially considering your current condition.”

She pointedly stared at Hannah’s belly. How did she…? No, she was a witch, of course she could tell. Hannah accepted her offer and sat back down.

Maleficent took a seat near her. “So does your husband know yet?”

Hannah looked aside. “I only found out myself a week into the journey.” She smiled sadly. “It’s just as well. It was hard enough to convince Frederick to come as is.”

For a long time, Maleficent just studied Hannah. Hannah couldn’t tell what was going through to other queen’s head, but she straightened her back and returned her gaze. This was not a time to back down, no matter how terrifying or dangerous Maleficent was.

“Why did you come?” Maleficent asked. “Whatever my reasons, I’m well aware of the pain my actions have caused your family.”

“That is one of the reasons, actually,” Hannah replied. “I wanted to hear your reasons. If possible, I want to understand why you did what you did. It may not change things, but I think we have a right to know.”

Maleficent dipped her head. “And the other reasons?”

“I’m sure by now you’ve heard what happened to Aurora after you left?” When Maleficent dipped her head again, Hannah said, “We haven’t been able to find either Gothel or Aurora. Something is going on with the fairies, and other than the fairies themselves, you seem to know the most about them.”

For a moment, Maleficent didn’t reply. She simply took a cup of tea to her lips, and savored the scent for a moment, before she drank and set it down. “Fortunately the two are intertwined. How much do you know about the costs of fairy blessings?”

<-Rapunzel Previous

Rapunzel Next->

Most recently updated draft of Rapunzel, the Sleeping Beauty (potentially including unposted content)

Read More
Rapunzel, 2022, Nanowrimo 2022 Nathaniel Cloud Rapunzel, 2022, Nanowrimo 2022 Nathaniel Cloud

1 November 2022

Maleficent strode through the massive double doors into the ballroom, paying no mind to the guards scurrying this way and that. A quick survey of the room confirmed her suspicions; of the rulers of major nations in the region, all others were already represented, which meant she was the only who had not been invited. That, in itself, was fine; expected even, given recent events. But the sight of the trio of fairies… that infuriated her.

Somehow, it seems fitting to start posting my Nanowrimo work just after we get halfway through the month. It’s been good to reflect; I had the barest hints of ideas and worldbuilding when I wrote this, and now it’s expanded into so much more. I just have to remember that doesn’t mean it’s done growing; it still is. I was - am - proud of the first section, from Maleficent’s point of view. A lot has changed since I wrote that, though, so there are definitely tweaks to be made. The last section was mostly just to keep writing something, and has since been scrapped.

I do not expect to hit 50k this year; as of writing this (early evening of the 16th), I only have roughly 14,500 words. I’m still shooting for 40k, though, even if it’s a bit unreasonable.

Maleficent strode through the massive double doors into the ballroom, paying no mind to the guards scurrying this way and that. A quick survey of the room confirmed her suspicions; of the rulers of major nations in the region, all others were already represented, which meant she was the only who had not been invited. That, in itself, was fine; expected even, given recent events. But the sight of the trio of fairies… that infuriated her.

Maleficent managed to contain herself, and plucked the smallest strand of composure from a passing serving girl just to be safe. She went to greet the hosts, and smiled widely, even if that smile never reached her eyes. “Good evening, King Frederick. Queen Hannah.”

Frederick looked rather uncomfortable with her presence, and Maleficent took some small satisfaction in that fact. Hannah, however, positively beamed at her. “Queen Maleficent! I’m so happy to see you.” She took Maleficent’s hand in both of hers. “We heard about your late husband; I’m sorry for your loss. We figured it might be rude to intrude on your time of grief to ask you to come celebrate with us.”

“Yes, quite.” Maleficent withdrew her hand from the other queen’s grasp and pursed her lips; she hadn’t quite figured out what to make of Queen Hannah as of yet. She looked past the royal couple at the baby girl lying in a crib behind them. The three fairies, green, pink, and blue, had gathered around it. “I presume this is the child?”

“Yes. We’ve named her Aurora.” Queen Hannah smiled down at her daughter. “The fairies were just bestowing their gifts; Lena blessed her with beauty, and Frieda with cleverness.” She gestured to the pink and green fairies, who nodded their heads in turn. “Isn’t it marvelous?”

Marvelous? Did she really not know? Were witches so rare in this part of the realm? Maleficent turned to the two fairies just named, and in the ancient language of fae magic demanded of them, “And you did not warn them of the cost? Of what will happen to their beloved child halfway through her time in mortality? Are the fae now so underhanded?”

All three fairies gasped and turned pale, but not from what she’d said. No, they looked at her in horror when they realized she could speak their tongue, and the implications that carried.

Maleficent looked at the baby once more and reached out a hand, only to pull it back. Things were even worse than they appeared; the child was not destined to be long for the world. Such was part of Maleficent’s gift, and her curse; the things she could do let her see the span of a person’s life with just a glance.

She switched back to common tongue and announced, “Then I, too, shall bestow a gift on the child. Before the sun sets on her sixteenth birthday, she will be poisoned, whether by the prick of a finger or th flesh of an apple, and she will die, and be spared the cruelty of this unjust world.” And thus, the very day the child’s gifts would become curses, instead of the child, the cost would be reflected back on the wretched creatures that would so abuse the human race.

The entire hall was stunned silent, until Frederick shouted to the guard, “Seize her!”

Before the guards could take more than a single step, however, Maleficent stole the light and heat from all the torches in the room and released it in a burst around her. With all the dignity she carried as a queen, she strode out of the castle unimpeded, heedless of the mother’s cries that echoed behind her.


Prince Isaac was eight when his family went to go bring his sister back home. He didn’t know the details; most times, he didn’t even remember he had an older sister. She’d been taken by a fairy named Gothel before he was born to keep her safe. Something about a witch’s curse?

It all sounded like a grand adventure. But then Gothel stopped sending letters. Mum and Dad grew worried, and decided to go see her. Isaac asked to come along.

However, when they arrived, all they found was a long-abandoned shack in the woods. No sign of fairies or sisters, or even that anyone had ever lived here at all. The only thing they found was a single letter, and Isaac hadn’t been allowed to read it.

Soon, they went home, and Dad ordered his men to scour the land for even the faintest hint of where Gothel could have gone.

Rapunzel Next->

Most recently updated draft of Rapunzel, the Sleeping Beauty (potentially including unposted content)

Read More
Hansel and Gretel, Other Fairy Tales, 2022 Nathaniel Cloud Hansel and Gretel, Other Fairy Tales, 2022 Nathaniel Cloud

25 September 2022

“The cat came back, the very next day.

The cat came back; she thought he was a goner.

But the cat came back; he just wouldn’t stay away.”

The older woman seated on the couch stood and whirled to look at the man who’d been singing. He leaned against the doorframe, one arm folded, while in his other hand he juggled a single knife. He had dark hair and wore a black duster over a similarly dark outfit.

“Who, who are you?” the woman squeaked.

This one also got a little dark. I really like the idea that Hansel and Gretel grew up to be badass, and they took something from the witch when they escaped. From their, it made sense they would pay dear old step-mother a visit, but… Yeah, as much as I enjoy darker stories like Arcane, I don’t think I have the right mentality to write them.

Also, I had that stupid song stuck in my head all day at work one day, and this was how I put a spin on it to keep my brain occupied.

“The cat came back, the very next day.

The cat came back; she thought he was a goner.

But the cat came back; he just wouldn’t stay away.”

The older woman seated on the couch stood and whirled to look at the man who’d been singing. He leaned against the doorframe, one arm folded, while in his other hand he juggled a single knife. He had dark hair and wore a black duster over a similarly dark outfit.

“Who, who are you?” the woman squeaked.

“Ah, you do not remember me? My heart is wounded!” The man clutched his chest, but his mouth slipped into a smile that never reached his eyes. “Did you hear that, dear sister? She does not remember us!”

From across the room, in the hall beyond the doorway, a young woman’s voice lilted through. 

“Oh, the cat came back, the very next day.

The cat came back; she thought she was a goner.

But the cat came back; she just wouldn’t stay away.”

As the chorus finished, a woman in her mid- to early-twenties, same as the dark-clothed man, entered the room. She, too, was dressed all in black, save for some dark red accents. She wore pants, which would have made the older woman aghast were she not so terrified. Her long, dark hair was tied back in a braid, and she wore a feathered tricorn hat. Strange, arcane accouterments hung from her belt.

She smiled cruelly. “And after you tried so hard to kill us all those years ago? You’re going to break my heart, mother dearest!”

The older woman’s eyes went wide. “That’s not possible!”

“Hm. You would think so. Yet here we are, aren’t we, Gretel?” The man slowly began to walk towards the older woman.

“But, you were both dead!” The woman backed away from the two, and her eyes darted for some way out of the room. Unfortunately, the only two doors were the ones the siblings had used to enter.

Gretel stepped closer. “No, though the old witch certainly gave it her best shot, didn’t she, Hansel? Still…” She raised her hand, and a ball of ghostflame flickered into existence. “I did manage to pick up a few of her tricks, so I should thank you for that I suppose.”

The old woman had backed herself into the corner by this point. “No! Please! I, I’ll do anything!”

“Anything?” Hansel asked, one eyebrow raised.

“So, if, for example,” Gretel asked, and traced a finger down the old woman’s face. “If I said I felt peckish, and that I’d always wondered why that old witch was so eager to eat children…”

The blood drained from the old woman’s face. “No, please! They’re only children! I beg of you!”

Hansel’s eyes flashed. “What were we, then, when you sent us to the witch?”

“You should have seen her salivating,” Gretel added. “Children must be quite tasty.”

The woman wailed and fainted. Both of the twins looked down on her in disgust. Gretel almost went to kick her, then thought better of it. Instead, she crouched next to the woman and held a hand over her head as she recited words from an unknowable language.

“And what will that do?” Hansel asked.

“Nightmares,” Gretel said, “every night, for the rest of her days. She will watch her children being eaten by monsters over and over again. I felt she should get to see for herself what she put us through.”

He nodded once, and the two left, with no trace they’d ever been there except for the unconscious woman in the corner.

Read More