4 June 2024

Was feeling a bit existential, and waxed a bit poetic about the meaning of my own life. This is very religious in nature, short as it is so be warned.

Who am I?

A sinner, a failure, a dropout?

Once, perhaps, and fair enough,

E’en now I have my struggles.

But…

Who am I?

A writer, a dreamer, a poet?

So I am, but only thus?

Nay, such is but skin-deep.

Then…

Who am I?

A son of God

A disciple of Christ

Brother, uncle, nephew, son

Covenanted

Ever forward I strive to tread.

3 May 2024 part 2

This is objectively not that great. Not as bad as I first thought, but not great. And perhaps too heavy-handed?

Do I fear the Lord?

Has my heart been changed?

With the knowledge of my soul,

Do I rely on Him?

I have felt this before,

That joy repentance brings.

Do I still live like that?
Can I feel Him now?

We are beggars, all;

But through Him we’re set free.

O Lord, please keep my soul;

Let me fellow Thee.

13 January 2023

This was a point where everything seemed to be a struggle. I felt like I had no time, no energy. So I went ahead and used an assignment from my Institute class (kind of like a Bible Study type of thing) to count for my daily writing this day.

Not that I was particularly good about things after this, either. I didn’t write at all from the 14th through the 16th, and then only made it about 3 days before I had another break. And even then, the 18th, was mostly just venting, and I don’t plan on posting that one. I should be back on my updated schedule by next Thursday or so, based on the things I’ve found.

At the flooring mill where I currently work, it can look kind of dreary. Concrete floors, metal beams, corrugated tin roof, fluorescent lights, typical warehouse stuff. It's not too bad, especially once you get used to it, but it's not exactly soothing to the soul, either.

In the summers, some of that can be mitigated when they open the massive doors in every part of the building, hoping to invite a cross breeze in addition to all the fans whirling. That lets in some natural sunlight, and glimpses of the Missouri greenery around us. In winter, though... it's too cold for that.

Despite that, this past week, I had a chance to work outside for a bit. There were some things to clean up, and it had actually warmed up a bit. I'd forgotten how much natural sunlight improves my mood compared to the artificial, "false" light from the fluorescent bulbs. It seemed to warm my soul and ease my burdens that day, just from the way I could relax my eyes.

I think that's the way the Savior is. Even when we're working hard, and things are going relatively well, if we don't include the Savior in our lives, we don't have that natural light in our life, and we never get the peace and comfort that comes from his presence.