DREAMS of a CLOUD
Peruse the many random ramblings of a writer-in-training as I build stories and develop my craft.
4 December 2022
“The Lady of the Lost?”
Cordelia nodded. “The twin sister of the Eternal Rose. Some refer to her as the Queen of the Forgotten or the Shadowed Princess, as well, because she’s become the patron goddess of the downtrodden.”
Towards the end of November, I started thinking about this story and about my homebrew D&D setting. This story is loosely set there, with the Eternal Rose being one of the core pantheon. There’s another member of the pantheon that is basically the patron goddess of the lost and the forsaken, and also has ties to death and things, which I feel like fits pretty well with the butterfly theme in and of itself.
While I was thinking, it occurred to me that the adherents of these two goddesses don’t necessarily follow what their goddesses actually desire, and it’d be easy to see how feuds between their believers might form, even if the goddesses themselves are on good terms with each other. Then it occurred to me this might be why Aislin becomes a knight; war breaks out, a mutual crusade of sorts, and she represents the third option, taking the ideas of both and blending them together. And becomes the champion of both, which is where the symbol of the butterfly comes in.
One day, as she came in from working on the garden, Aislin realized something. “Where are all the poor people?”
“Poor people?” Cordelia asked.
“Yes. Don’t they, more than anyone, need that spark of beauty to get them through life’s difficulties?”
Cordelia looked away in shame. “They…Many of the priests here consider them ‘unclean’. I’ve also heard ‘inelegant’ and ‘course’. According to those priests, the poor detract from the beauty of the temple when they visit, and turn them away. Most of the poor in the city have to make do worshipping the Lady of the Lost.”
Aislin suspected Cordelia herself had once been one such priestess. Based on the guilt and shame in her voice and expression, though, that was no longer the case. Aislin didn’t press her on it. “The Lady of the Lost?”
Cordelia nodded. “The twin sister of the Eternal Rose. Some refer to her as the Queen of the Forgotten or the Shadowed Princess, as well, because she’s become the patron goddess of the downtrodden.”
Aislin cocked her head. “And she has a temple in the city? Where is it?”
“Well… more of a shrine then a temple.” Cordelia gave her a concerned look. “You’re not planning on going, are you?”
“Why should I not? They still need help, and offering that help will in turn make the world a more beautiful place. Am I wrong?”
Cordelia reluctantly shook her head and gave her directions. Aislin headed out and began walking to the shrine.
The closer she got, the worse the streets became. First, it was all the dirt and mud that coated the streets and building walls. Then she noticed broken windows here and there. This was obviously a far more dangerous part of the city compared to the areas she’d been living and working in.
30 October 2022
“It’s such a small thing, I know. But seeing that reminded me that the world is still beautiful, and I could be a part of that.” She placed her hand over the old woman’s. “I can’t promise when it will happen, but you’ll be able to be a part of that again too. I believe the Rose can weave even our pain into something beautiful.”
I actually spent most of this particular Sunday doing some general worldbuilding for my Nanowrimo novel, since that was coming up in a couple days. So I felt fine keeping this shorter, especially where I ended at the natural conclusion of a scene. We’ll see how things go once I pick it back up in December…
Just realized this part doesn’t really add any new information. All well.
“...now it just feels empty.”
For a long moment, they sat in silence. Aislin looked out into the garden and said, “It’s not the same, I know. But when I lost Matthias, I was lost. I didn’t understand how I could go on living, much less find happiness.”
The old woman and Cordelia focused their attention on her. She continued, “For months, everything felt gray. And then, one day in spring, I saw an iridescent blue butterfly.” She chuckled and looked over at the old woman. “It’s such a small thing, I know. But seeing that reminded me that the world is still beautiful, and I could be a part of that.” She placed her hand over the old woman’s. “I can’t promise when it will happen, but you’ll be able to be a part of that again too. I believe the Rose can weave even our pain into something beautiful.”
The old woman smiled gently at Aislin and patted her hand. Cordelia moved to sit on Aislin’s other side, and for ten to fifteen minutes, they enjoyed the silence together.
23 October 2022
One day, in the evening after Aislin had washed up, she entered the main hall and found an older woman, who appeared to be overwhelmed with the grandiose nature of the main hall. With a gentle smile, Aislin approached the older woman. “Good evening. Is there anything I can do for you?”
“Oh, um, no, that’s alright.” She looked up at Aislin and relaxed a bit. “I just wanted to think for a moment.”
Aislin studied the woman. “If you prefer, we also have a small garden over this way. It might be easier to think there.”
Something I strongly believe is that our struggles, our challenges, our painful moments have the power to make us more empathetic. It doesn’t always happen; it’s a choice to recognize someone else’s pain. And no matter how similar the situations may seem on the surface, there’s always nuances that keep us from knowing exactly how someone feels. But we can get close, and there is beauty in that, and I think that’s one way we can trade beauty for ashes.
As I mentioned before, I’ve done away with the “trial” bit; Aislin is in a sort of probationary period with the trial, where they’re trying to figure out what to do with her, and she’s trying to figure out how long she’s going to stay before she bails. Similar to the last one, though she decides to stick around long enough to fix this garden, which is now just a normal garden their goddess mandated they keep, even though none of the priests or priestesses are willing to risk getting their clothes dirty to keep it maintained.
She got to work. The two acolytes, who were named Owen and Cordelia, followed her instructions when asked, but between their obvious reluctance to get their hands dirty and their unfamiliarity with even basic gardening practices, Aislin was inclined to handle things herself.
She weeded and trimmed, planted and fertilized, over the next several days. She didn’t care about the dirt on the simple dresses she was provided or the sweat that beaded on her forehead. She cleaned and groomed herself, of course, but took little care beyond that.
One day, in the evening after Aislin had washed up, she entered the main hall and found an older woman, who appeared to be overwhelmed with the grandiose nature of the main hall. With a gentle smile, Aislin approached the older woman. “Good evening. Is there anything I can do for you?”
“Oh, um, no, that’s alright.” She looked up at Aislin and relaxed a bit. “I just wanted to think for a moment.”
Aislin studied the woman. “If you prefer, we also have a small garden over this way. It might be easier to think there.”
The old woman visibly brightened. “Oh, that would be lovely!”
Aislin walked the old woman over to the garden, along with Cordelia, who was her assistant on-shift at the moment. Once the old woman was seated, she admired the garden and relaxed. “Thank you, dearie.”
“Of course.” The two sat in silence for several long minutes, while Cordelia shuffled around awkwardly off to the side.
Eventually, the old woman began to speak. “This place is quite special, isn’t it? Not that the main hall is bad, but it is hard to relax there.”
“Between you and me,” Aislin whispered, “I do think it’s a bit too much.”
The old woman chuckled, and Cordelia frowned but didn’t say anything. Another moment passed, and the old woman said, “I’ve been a little lost. My Cedric passed away just recently, and it’s been so hard.”
Aislin could relate. “Did he go peacefully, at least?”
“Oh, yes.” The old woman nodded. “But… he’s been by my side so long, and now it just feels… empty.”